rephrasing my question: for men to answer or even woman if u want and know the answerr?

Question

why do u guys stick up for ur mom and stay quiet when ur mom insults ur wife, but with other stuff u guys yell at mom for when it comes to wife ur mouth stays shut why? tell us the truth why do u men do this? what r u afraid of? whats the reason? just be honest plz this question should be better with the answers when a real man tells us the real answer or even if u know someone who does this u can also help and write be honest plzzzzz

i want to add a detail my mother inlaw fights with me insults me totally treats me like garbage calls my family members curses them i dont insult her or trash her at all i stayed quiet listeing to her insults so much that i think im a low life for listening.. he says this is a lie and blames me and says im to blame for his moms behavior and he will not stop her that i have to love her for her to stop.. i cant love her from what she does: 1insults my relatives 2:lies to him about me so he can fight with me:3insults me in front of her family guests4:makes fun of me and laughs:5acts nice when her son is there and acts tired and old as if dying

an important detail.. told me she will make her son divorce.. im suppose to love her and try? would u love her and try or would u slap the old bat?

Answer 1

she gave birth to him?
women will come and go she will always be there for him.
respect for your mother?
she washed his nasty underwear for 20 years?
cause his mother never made him feel like u do.
damn woman its his mother whats your problem? dont try to work them against eachother. youll get further with him if you respect his mother, dont start crap.
he loves his mother unconditionaly that will never be the case with women he dates or has married, there will always be conditions.

Answer 2

I was following your question in which you just booted me out and then I came to this question rephrased. Now are you really ready for an honest answer. I'll try to be gentle this time and not harsh and rude.
See if the guy keeps queit when there is an argument between his mother and wife, then he is doing the most intelligent thing. Many a times if the guy interferes the problem worsens. As you know in a every house there are bound to be disagreements. But such fights end and things become normal.
If the guy interferes, and he blames his mother, then his mother will think the wife has taken her son away from her, and will hate her daughter in law more and if he supports his mom, then the wife thinks and later cribs too that i do everything wrong and only your mom is right. Therefore its best for a man to keep quiet.
Neither the mom not the wife realise what the guy goes thro' whenever they fight, he is the one who is suffering the most. As both are important factors in his life.
Men always interefere when they feel problem is being stretched too long and is affecting the everyone in the house. And then they usually say what they feel.
(I hope this answer didn't offend you. But my last answer in your earlier question was also true but it was phrased like that because you used the word yanked for your mom in laws argument and totally blamed the men making them seem like a looser and someone who can't stand up for anything.)
****Well after this recent addition, i m really sorry for what you are going through, i had thought that you needed an answer for why men don't speak up for their wives when there's a fight between her and his mom.
Well let me tell you, in your situation its the best if you divorce yourself and claim compensation for mental agony. Its seems your husband doesn't trust you when it comes to his mother. That just means he doesn't love you neither does he care for you, so the best would be divorce but do take alimony for all the mental harrasment you have been throgh

Answer 3

If a guy chooses to stick up for his mom all the time instead of his wife when a conflict arises, then that guy has a marriage in trouble! This is what a therapist will say - you have to put your marriage first.
On the other hand, if it is a particular discussion where the wife is baiting the mother or criticizing her, I don't think it is a bad idea for a son to try to protect his mother from his wife's anger, if he believes she's wrong. Mothers in law can have a pretty tough life!

Answer 4

I will tell u what I think is the reason; well I think that man have a very strong bond with the mom and that's why they don't like to hurt their feelings to the mom because th wife and the mother are like rivals and if the son gets against the mother the mother will get very very hurt and the son can't face hurting the mother for the wife and it's easier to hurt he wife because there is the MAKE OUT SEX Part that is good for couples that it's convenient to the man..hope it make sense.

Answer 5

To avoid conflicts. because a guy fears that if he starts shouting at his mom for his wife, she may feel lonely and blame his wife for her isolation.

Besides, a guy feels that his wife can understand the things better. Also he expects his wife to respect his parents, no matter how they are. If a women is efficiently able to manage these homely affairs, nobody would insult her. But the problem starts when the lady starts asking for space. I donot mean to say the wives donot need space, but it should disturb the rythm of the family they are in.

Also a guy relies more on his wife than his mother. Finally it's with her that he can share all everything. He would love to see his family respecting and praising his wife. But wants the women to earn that respect. Just because you are someone's wife doesnot imply that you ought to get the respect. That would be a part time respect. Your own character, attitude, and capability to balance yourself into the environment actually does the scoring...

:-)

Answer 6

I think both of the females wants to show that who possesses u more, the wife or the mother, they both look at u to take their side, and it is very difficult to decide that who is right, and which side the man should speak. There are some more reasons too like, the mother is more possessive to the son as he grown him up and wants to continue the same clutch over her son, besides the wife says that i left all my family for u then why can't u left Ur family for me. In all these conflicts the man thinks that he loves both and wants to live with both he can't choose one, sometimes its because of financial problems that a man cannot take bold step for her wife as he can't live independently. So the man generally do not takes wife's side, as he wants to live with the family or he can't support her family living separately.

Answer 7

A man finds mother in his wife . try to be that great mother ur hus wants. And moreover old people r like small children they r more posessive for their children. treat ur hus very well so that even if ur in law asks him to divorce u also he cud not think of life without u. At the same time respect ur in laws feelings also . Remember that if she was not there u wud have not got ur hus too. but to be frank i have got a hus who always is on my side only even if the mistake is from my side only. he tells me my mistakes only when no one is there. he wont give me up in anybody's eyes. Dont think that i am the perfect wife so he'll support me HE'S MY PERFECT & BEST HUS

Answer 8

It seems Communication gap.....
1. How much time u couple spent with your mother in law,
2. Have you guys spent time with your Mother in law ever?
3. Did you guys discused about any house hold maters?
4.Did you trete your mother in law as your mother ?
5.When she asks fro something did you maintained your pitch.

your hubbys mother is older & she use to take care all the activities of your home & now its taken care by you may be & your hubby also not spending time with her as before so she will definatly have some posesiveness .........& ur hubby can not speak against her becouse she took care of him till now .

Understand the situation correctly & try to follow the above point defnetly you will win her heart.....but initialy you will feel guilt & deficulty but stay cam..

Answer 9

I thing that you are undergoing the truma of some Sulky Mother inlaw.First of all you should never try to divide the love and affection of your husband. If your mother in law stay s along with you, first you should consider her as your family head and give her love and respect.
Coming to your question: Actually mom's are given much more weightage than daughter in laws due to their age, experiance and most important thing is senior female head of the family. She is to actually guide and help you in carrying out day to day work in life. She is said to be teacher of daughter in law, in Indian costoms.
How ever in mordern days there is lot of difference commin up due to generation gap, education and technology advancement (( (spl old system is good for working women where both of you have to make some compromise)
You have to treat her like your mom and she had to treat you like her own daughter.
Its better that you both sort out and do the need ful compromise
As husband cant speak up for wife due :
1. It may instal bad impression that your hubby cares much for you than mom.
2. Both of you being females could understand much better of each others need and any thing if not sorted out should never go outside the four walls as it spreads rumers and adds only insult and spoils the image of the family
3. Being the Mom is much harder than that of wife.
4. Both of them are lovable but their area and ranges are different they cant be weighted on same scale.
Its the responsiblity of the Daughter in law to maintain the dignity and family peace .
Thanks for your question.

Answer 10

oh my God i just posted a simular Q i'm going throgh the same exact thing 4 tenyrs.nowmy motherinlaw does the same things to me.¬ just her the whole famliy.my husband tends to take his moms side but as long as he loves u he'll never leave u.ive been there but he came back to me.i finaly got fed up &cursed her back well im the sorriest person now.i even left my hubbie 4 2 days 2 show every one im tierd of being thier rag doll.guess what he got mad at his folks 4 the first time in ten yrs.but theres stiil that ire distants between us &i hate it.good luck&godbless

Answer 11

I don't know why some guys are like that. If there was a conflict between my mom and girlfriend/wife I personally would stand up for my girlfriend/wife before I'd stand up for my mom. After all, I chose to be with my girlfriend, I didn't choose my mom. I would side with my girlfriend over anyone in my family.