Should I marry him despite what everyone says ?

Question

My boyfriend and I have a 10mth old daughter and have been together for almost 2 yrs. Well he got into a little trouble when he was 15 and was on probation and he violated that some 6 yrs later and now has to do 3 yrs prison time. Before he got locked up we were supposed to get married but now we have to put it on hold. We recently found out that we can get married while he is locked up. We both want to do it but our families say we should wait until he comes home. They think I deserve someone "better" according to them but before any of this happened they were so in love with him and he was such a good man. He hasn't done anything wrong his past just caught up with him. Should I listen to my family or follow my heart ?

He violated by riding a motorcycle with a suspended license .. Florida is so stupid at times but he knew he shouldn't be riding in the first place,

Besides this lil problem , he had a very good job paying him over $18hr , he bought me a house and we have the best of cars in our driveway so for those of you who have something negative to say , please keep it to yourselves. He had his sh*t together but his past caught up with him.

My family knows about his past and that was way before me , because someone got hurt when he was 15 they gave him probation for being a MINOR ,since then he hasnt done anything wrong and he is now 22 . If you live in florida then you would know how backwards are laws are and you would know why he got 3 yrs for violating

I have known him for 5 yrs now and I know basically all about him , we've been only dating 2yrs . He is a great provider for his family. People make mistakes and I am not one to judge especially someones past and for anyone who is trying to turn there life around . For al the positive comments thanks

Answer 1

You should marry him. Love is love; don't let anyone to give you any reason to break this relationship.

Answer 2

I think it depends on what he did. If he did something at 15 and was on probation for 6 years, then it must've been serious. And also, the violation must have been pretty big to call for 3 years behind bars. What did he do?

Like someone else mentioned, that's gonna be the clincher here. If your family is just finding out about something criminal he did, then of course they're concerned. Anyway, I can't really give my opinion without knowing what he did at 15, and what his violation was now.

Answer 3

A little of both. I've learned that other peoples opinions generally turn out to be right. But, we seem to be blinded by "love" and make bad judgments anyway. You can have it both ways though. Stay with him if that's what your heart tells you to do, but you don't have to make it legally binding (marriage) especially while he is in jail. So, my advice is to listen to your family by not getting married but also listen to your heart and stay with him as long as you feel that way. Only you will know what you want, but people who love you will want what is best for you. Besides, you may change your mind in the next three yrs, and it will be much easier for everyone if you can avoid a nasty divorce AND, I doubt the wedding of your dreams ever took place in a prison. Wait till you can do it right and have no regrets.

Answer 4

For your child's sake, follow you heart. However, the father of your child must get his act together very quickly because as in the words of Judge Judy, with the path he's on the probabilities are great that his life is going to be miserable, but don't allow him to drag you and the child down with him. So, when he gets out of jail ("little trouble?"), your child is still going to need a good loving father who is gainfully employed and committed to his family for the long-term. Even though your child was born out-of-wedlock, you two need not make her life more miserable. Your delayed marriage may help her rationalize her illegitimate birth when she's an adult. So go for it if he's not abusive and a good provider.

Answer 5

A "little bit" aof trouble does as a minor does not get you 6 + years of probation and 3 yrs pen time for violating it. That's sounds like an underestimation of the facts on your part. Based on the information you have given, you are young in age. You have time to decide on marriage. If your love is strong there is no need to rush into it now. When he gets out and gets back on his feet and proves he can provide for his family, then get married.

Answer 6

I think you should wait until he's out of prison when you can have a real wedding if you both still feel the same way about each other then. His being in prison is really going to test your relationship, whether or not you have a marriage certificate. You may not realize how much right now, but you will.

Answer 7

i think u should follow your heart because ultimately your the only on that has to live your own life, however take some time to sit back and way the pros and cons that the relationship might have in the future. just because u have a baby with someone doesn't mean u should spend the rest of your life with them. not saying that's the reason but I'm pretty sure that's a factor.

Answer 8

Listen to them. Everyone told my mother not to marry my father, and I almost wish she hadn't, except that I wouldn't be here. But aside from what they think, what is best for the most important person in this: your daughter? Is she going to have a good role model in this person? Are you better off finding a new father-figure for this child, rather then have him come back into her life at a sensitive time. Your heart should always lie with your daughter, not whoever your love interest is in life. Children always come first.

Answer 9

well, it kind of sounds like you're having doubts about marrying him.
you have to do what you want, and what's best for you and your child in order for you and your daughter to have a happy and healthy life. I know that everyone has their own opinion, me included, but what really matters is how you feel, and what you truly want. you have to think with your head and your heart. and that's sometimes a hard thing to do. give yourself a little time to do some thinking without everyone else giving you their opinions, and I know you'll make the right decision. and when you do, it will be the choice that's right for you and your little girl.
Best Wishes.

Answer 10

first you'll be able to desire to comprehend rigidity isn't sturdy for valuable thinking. it retards psychological growth very badly. now and back single female make some delusion pictures of the variety of husband she needs. yet after marrige she expects from her husband to be like that one she in the past theory approximately, that's just about no longer achievable for anybody. so those variety of issues frustrate the female and ended in strange behaviour. different project is that she additionally thinks you are the wrongdoer of dying of your infant. it is not correct whose fault is, yet you the two want 2 comprehend it which you lost your infant by way of fact of your ideas-set. so attempt to take a seat down mutually, & ask her why she is aggressive, is she lacking something from her married existence or their is the different project she faceing. attempt to be calm & polite in the time of all this communication bcoz your finished married existence in accordance with that talk. if all this no longer remedy your project then you definately could desire to % help of your close one, whome she regards a lot.

Answer 11

I say fellow your heart, they just can't judge him for a mistake that he made when he was a teenager. If he hasn't done anything wrong by you then by all means marry the man and ask your partents why they aren't "so in love" with him anymore? Just sit down and talk it over with them tell them what you just told us.
Hope this helps and GOOD LUCK :)