my mom says i owe her for giving me life??

Question

i dont understand i give her as much as i can i buy her food even put a phone for her under my name!!! now she wants me to pay it.i dont make that much and i would like to spend money without her telling me i need to spend it on her!!

Answer 1

Well, she's just using the wrong words. If you're over 18 and living with her, you should be giving her some money to help pay the bills. If you aren't living with her, try to see things from an objective point of view. Think about why she's asking you to help out, why she doesn't have enough money. Like, does she work? Is she making enough money to pay the bills? She may need help getting some assistance with her bills. There are budget plans for the utilities, including the phone.

Answer 2

Dear wwbaby
Yes you owe her. To be the best you can be. To not have her worry about you.You are under her roof she makes the rules. Once you have had enough you will leave her then you can live your owe life. Before you do any thing think like in chest game. If I do this what will my Mom do. How will it affect me in the future. The best thing would be if you could watch her around her Mom. Ask her Mom why is she this way.There is information missing. Where is your Dad? Did she chase him away. Is he sick and you are helping till he gets on his feet. Does your Mom work and just needs help for a little while or is she lazy and the best thing you can do is make sure your kids never meet her in the future. Some country's the first born owes the family. This is the way it is now and has always been. Good luck please always sleep on it and make sure you cover what you think she will do to get even with you. I have My Mom live with me and it makes it hard to get girl friend. I think I could have house full of rattle snakes and get more girl friends. You are good person you will make the right decision.

Answer 3

This is very old country.

And to a certain extent you probably do owe her.

But you have to draw the line too. You have gone way beyond what most would have to do.

You don't say if you are a minor or an "adult" .. if you are a minor your "screwed" until you become an adult.

If you are an adult .. then you are less obligated and can push back much much harder.

You do not mention if you live there. if you do then someone is paying the rent/morgage.

A "come to Jesus" meeting needs to be called. before that meeting, decide what you want to happen and the most you will give in.

For example .. you might feed her, pull the existing phone .. perhaps buy a Net 10 phone, but NOT buy minutes for it. show her you won't be pushed over. it is important.

this will get ugly.

During and After that meeting, do NOT cross that line that you established in your own head before the meeting, tempting though it may be.

Answer 4

Ya and that will never go away. She's your Mom and she did give you birth you both can not do anything about that. Remember your her daughter and not her slave. If she wants to be treated like a ward or someone who is being taken care of remind her your budget that you use to take care of her with is just that-yours. And you are in control of how you spend that money and how much. Also her situation is important, will it get better or worse. You may want to do some planning. Do you know what a reverse mortgage is? Her future care and your role along with her other families roll may relieve some of the burden. My mother gave me live twice, birth and a kidney transplant. We can never repay some things with money remind her your paying her with love and it would not be right for you to pay her back with money. Tell her she can have all the love she needs and if she needs a kidney tell her she'll have to ask!

Answer 5

It sounds like she is manipulating you and guilt tripping you for her own personal gain. I would recommend putting some limits on how much you give her. You have to worry about your life and your expenses to without worrying about what you need to buy your mother. She's a grown woman she should be able to take care of herself and not manipulate her child into doing it.

Answer 6

Well, the only thing you owe her is respect as your mother. She needs to be able to fend for herself. you might owe her if she was infirm and couldn't do for herself. Get the phone out of your name. Looks like your the parent now huh? Just respect her because she's your Mother, you don't owe her anything other than that.

Answer 7

She is manipulating you through guilt. It only works if you cater to her. You don't owe her ANYTHING, SHE decided to bring you into this world, you didn't ask to be born and it's a mother's job & responsability to take care of that child, not the other way around.

Answer 8

You need to grow a backbone and cut her off.. You do not owe her for giving you life. That was a decision she made on her own. Let her get her own phone.

Answer 9

She didn't HAVE to give you life. You didn't ASK her to give you life.
I am a mother, and I'm saying, as someone else did, Grow a spine and cut that demanding wench OFF.
You owe her respect. That's it. That's all ANY kid owes their mother. And if yours is half as demanding as you make it sound, I'm doubting if she's even "owed" respect.

Answer 10

Maybe your mom needs some counseling..I'm thankful for my 3 grown children..I expect nothing from them ..Except a visit and phone call ever now and then..As a parent we are so blessed to have the gift of having our children..Good Luck..We have our children and it's our place to help them until they're adult enough to help themselves..Children don't ask to be born.I know I didn't !!