all alone.. on the "inside"?

Question

I've been married for 13 years have 1 son my husband and I dont communicate.. I feel like I'm just a home maker for the most part I feel that I'm overall organized as a person, my husband on the other hand expects me "just to do it all" take care of everything,, pay bills, clean house work full time I love being a mom, but what I'm bothered by is that my husband feel like oh shes ALWAYS there meaning me... she'll take care of it. I feel a marriage takes 2.. many ways I feel like I'm alone... thats sad, I'm always there for everyone,,, but I feel no one is there... for me..
I dont mean to ramble.. I'm not grninally happy in my marrage.. one day at a time right? :) I will just try my best to amke a happy home life for myself and my son regardless if my husband wants to be a part of it or not.. thank you for reading this

Answer 1

I can offer advice from the other end on this one. I just lost what I thought was a great relationship with someone I loved very much because we didn't communicate. More to the point, she never voiced any concerns to me and I thought everything was fine. Had she merely discussed her issues with me, the problem was easily solvable.

My point is this: Don't let your marriage slip away because you didn't discuss this with your husband. Have you brought up your concerns to him?

If he doesn't want to talk about it, make it clear that it's VERY important to you and to your marriage.

You love this man, don't forget that. You may start the whole process by making a list of the things you love about your husband and the things that are bothering you. That would give you a good framework to proceed with. Best wishes!

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you need to consider marriage counseling. Communication is a huge key to any successful relationship and when there isn't any thats when things go south. If your husband really loves you and doesn't want to lose you then he will be receptive to counseling. After 13 years it sounds to me like you are being taken for granted. Don't just stand by and let yourself be treated like a doormat. Get out there and do something about it unless you actually enjoy being treated that way. Talk to your husband and try marriage counseling. If that fails then cut him loose and move on. Good Luck

Answer 3

hii 13 years is quite awile now the longer a marrage gets the more we take things for granted like as u say shes allways there working the things a wife should do . life allso needs to be happy fun things as this is life today and now. the sad things ealy on the fun is so very sweet like first time things sweeet memories, as the years go by them fun times can and will slow down, he knows your allways there so why need to try anymore, the fun sweet times togher if you miss them with him then its time to talk see if he will lisen give you love the boost it needs then if he still wont talk or try to dop whats right to make u happy then think of what you can do for just you it takes two but u carnt make him but u can give him every chance then go from there do what u feel is right for you to be happy again because at least u can say i tryed.

Answer 4

Have you talked to your hubby about this issue? I think you if you haven't already. Me and my ex dated for 7 years and I did ALL the bills and everything. I am pregnant right now and I will have to do it alone. It sounds like you are basically raising your child alone and your hubby is taking you for granted. I would tell him how I feel and if he doesn't make some changes..I would think about making some myself..I know you love him but it doesn't sound like your happy with your relationship with him..It is horrible feeling alone in a relationship..Good Luck, I am sure I didn't help

Answer 5

You must need a break, what about a camping holiday for a week or weekend that always refreshes things, otherwise I would talk to your husband before it gets too deep and he stays in that routine, you need to ask him to do something occasionally say to him darling while I do this and get it done could you do that I have my hands full, even hint a little gee I get so buggered I think I need a little more help with everything. Even say ( this is what I say) Do you think you can get that done for me every now and then, I need help.

Answer 6

You will be surprised how many wonderful and giving women are just like yourself, seemily contented buy inside they are lonely. The answer is to break the cycle of what is happening in your life, do something for yourself, take up an outside interest, do it with hubby if you can, but without him if necessary. Tell him how you feel and that you are going to do something for yourself from now on.

Answer 7

Simply put...you teach people how to treat you. Your husband "dumps" the responsibility on you b/c you let him. This will be a bitter pill to swallow, but once you empower this truth it's absolutely freeing.

In this day and time, I can't imagine that you haven't heard the phrase "Loving begins with you"....well its true...I suspect that you have some fixing to do when it comes to loving yourself on the home front. It is not an admission that you are worth dirt, it's about making the decision to personally empower yourself.

If not for you, then you must set the example for your child...
Otherwise you will communicate to your child that it's ok to be emotionally abused, and that it's ok to play the victim.

Signed,

Tough Love.

Answer 8

Many people feel like you do. My first marriage was like this. I would work, come home, clean the kitchen, sometimes cook. My (now ex) wife would go on business trips, leaving myself and our two kids at home. I would put the kids to bed and sit in silence, wondering who my wife was sleeping with at that very moment. This went on for years...
I'm not saying your hubby's cheating on you. I just know how you feel. Kinda like you're disconnected. You are wise to focus on your son. Try also to focus on the nice things your hubby does for you and try not to dwell on the negative.
A good friend told me this once, and it makes sense;
"Look at a prospective marriage mate with eyes WIDE open. After the wedding, look at them with your eyes half shut!"
In other words, overlook their flaws and see the good! Good luck!

Answer 9

Mate it takes two to tango and hes gotta pull his weight or its just bye byes. Give him an ultimatum and if that doesnt work then you know what to do.... Hes got 2 remember hes in the marriage too not just u and the son. So tell him to either get his act into gear or you will.

Answer 10

I know what you are going through!
I think the best thing for you to do is get a job
even part time .You will feel more independent,you will be out socializing,and he will have to do something for himself for a change!