What should I say about sex?

Question

My Lil boy was watching tv and found the movie called maybe the Girld Next Door. When I walked into the room, it was the sex part. He is 8 years old and I didnt no what to say to him so I asked him if he knew what sex was, and he said yeah I heard about it on the bus. I asked him if he wanted me to talk to him about it, or does he want dad. He told me Nahh mom I am ok, my friends will tell me. I dont no what to do, do I wait, he is so young, but what are they learning these days?

Oops I added it to the wrong place but sure you moms might no already what to do

Honestly I had no idea the movie was bad, I had never seen it..

I let it brush off at that moment cause of shock so how do I bring it back up, he is the type where if he dont want to talk about it.. he will change the subject real fast.. like wow mom you see that new game they have lmao

Answer 1

I understand that it can be uncomfortable to discuss this topic w/ your child (I've discussed it w/ my child when he was 8 and I plan to discuss it w/ him again maybe twice per year until he's 17). I try to make the discussion as casual as possible.
Please do not allow his sex education to come from his friends. He needs be educated about the male/female body from his parents. As we all know sex is not just sex- it is intimacy, love, and having a commitment to one another. Most young people do not realize this and just think that sex is sex. They need to know to value their bodies, and to value marriage before physical intimacy.
What does your husband think about discussing this topic with your child?
Good luck and happy parenting : )

Answer 2

No, you don't wait. You shouldn't have waited this long to even tell him waht sex was.

He is getting ready to hit puberty, and now he already knows the slang for sex.

You DON'T have to go into details. That might make him feel weird. But you do need to tell him what sex is.

Here, this might help you get the ball rolling.

"Son, I saw you watching that movie that had a sexual scene in it. I don't think that that was for little boys. But I think you need to know what they were doing. Do you know what makes a boy a boy and a girl a girl? (if he doesnt answer) A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina. When two grown up people, a girl and a boy (you can explain homosexuality at a later time, as it is a bit confusing to young child who hasnt asked about it) fall in love, and usually get married, they have sex. Sex happens when a boy puts his penis into the girls vagina. (he'll gross out and say things like EW THATS NASTY, girls have cooties1 i'll never do that!!! dont say "you'll change") When you get a little older, you will notice that you WILL want to have sex. And that is okey. Thats how our bodies are made..." and just take it from there. Please don't make sex sound dirty or nasty. Just give him the facts and leave it at that. When he's a little older, prolly when you notice his voice to change, then you can go into more detail and explain to him what a condom is, how to keep from getting a girl pregnant and ask your husband to teach him how to use a condom.

Teens will have sex, unless they are devout in their religon. It's almost unnatural to supress them from doing it. So, I know you dont like the idea that your precious son might someday be doing it after prom, you can rest assure that he wont bring home some flooze bag saying "mom, your gonna be a grandma" (when he's 16..)

Answer 3

Be honest with him but not in a bookish way. Tell him that adults sometimes like to express love in differnet ways and sometimes those ways make kids and sometimes people wear protective equipment like sports players that prevent them from having kids. But it's like voting, driving, and drinking and he has to wait until he's a grown-up and has learned all about the bad things that can happen like aids. You can even talk to him about AIDS a little bit since it's not too much of a sexual subject. This way he understands what you are saying but he doesn't feel left out because he's little and best of all he doesn't learn from his friends. I learned all about sex ed since fifth grade but my boyfriend is from a place that doesn't teach a lot of the improtant issues. When I met him he actually thought the pulling out method worked which is pretty sad since he's 25. Keep the lines of communication open and but dont' make the subject taboo or he will start to become curious in a bad way. Just make sure as he gets older you educate him on safe sex and birth control because chances are he will have sex without you even knowing it but hopefully he will have the knowledge to do it safely.

Answer 4

Funny story, I remember the dreadful bus.. it's a classroom of its own.

Here's my philosophy, it's never too late to learn, and most certainly never too early.

When I was 12, I was comming back home one day on the bus, and the kids were making fun of me. They asked me, "How many periods did you have today", and I would always tell them "Eight!". They would all burst out laughing for reasons I would not quite understand. It was not until my principal found out about this, and kindly told me. Needless to say, the years of humiliation and trauma that I have my parents' protectiveness to thank for, are simply priceless.

Nobody is telling you to show the little guy Ron Jeremy's entire collection.. But letting him know the basics, in a purely scientific manner, will be informative, educational, and necessary.

At this age, boys especially, are in a competition amung themselves. This is new ground for them, and though they have little desire to prove how much they know in school to eachother, knowladge about sex and women is quite popular.

From a social point of view, you don't want your son to be made fun of, or to feel as if he knows too little or nothing at all. This is really the perfect age to explain things to him, before the hormones start kicking in and he starts getting feelings about girls.. where it will be almost impossible to talk to him as his mom.

There's no better person in him life, that wants the best for him than you right now, and nobody better amung his parents that can tell him about women and sex. Educate him about the two organs, the reason they exist, the means of sex as reproduction, and the dangers of unprotected sex.

Remember, he's 8 years old, so he's not going to run off and have sex after you're done talking.. Talk to him so you can educate him, not warn him! If he feels you understand, he will also feel that he is responsible, and confident.. traits that a boy have to be socially healthy in all kinds of relationships.

Answer 5

How about an answer from a third grade teacher? Please, have a chat with your child. Let him know that things said on the bus can be misinterpreted or even just wrong. Take charge of your child's education and share your thoughts about values, readiness, appropriateness of touch, language, and behaviors. Eight is not to young for "the talk." If he is getting it from the TV and peers he should know what the most important two people in his life have to say about it. :)

Answer 6

just take each little part slow as he ages.....b like sex is ment for special time, not just to experiment how it is, you dont wanna have sex just so you can say you'll do it. when ur older he'll have plenty of chances whether you like or not. the choice would be mainly up to him as he gets older.. build that respect in him to you- and when he gets older he'd b like mann i dont no even no, im straight when i get a little bit more older i mite do it. but i dont wanna dissapoint my parents .......and like no matter what you tell em when he's older he's gonna make the choice him self

im 18 rite now when i first got into high school and even wayyy before that my friends all wanted me to drink drugs, and aLwaYS would try and get sum lol - it never happend but it could have.... then i always told my best friend... look im not doin that **** now my parents always told me and wished i didnt do that shi* but you kno prolly when im like 17-18-19 years old ill prolly will be doin all that with no problem bcuz im older ... nothn changed yet, i still havnt done anything...well anything badd like that but thats just reall stuff*......LIke anything that happend to me or my stories is straight up how movies could be because its just real. but yeah Dont start sayin its ur choice at this age, another 5-7years, and he'll realize that himself.too

OH another thing is DO NOT ELIMINATE the seX completely Try to show him that you're not letting him watch that junk stuff on tv and movies.. that will make him want to experience it himself because you kept him from something so bad that u didnt want him to do and he'll do it... he may not go out and have sex cuz u can be scared at that age but porn would b a big issue as he gets older...dont be tellln him not to look at bad things, dirty things (girls) on the computer when he goes to friends houses n stuff..... my mom did that to me at like 3rd grade and i was smart and had lotta common sence so i wanted to see what was so bad about it. and realized it can turn u into a sex addict, n porn addict... but thats all over wit now. bye

Answer 7

well i really recommend you that you or your husband should talk to him before his friends do, because I'm a 18 year old guy and i wouldn't tell me friends the appropriated thing, like well when two people are in love they want to express it a different way.. blah, blah blah, see it might be appropriate for a parent with experience to tell him, rather a a 8 year old friend who wasn't even look a naked girl.
so go talk to him. good luck

Answer 8

Do not wait, do not let him learn from kids his age. They don't have facts, you do. I know he's young, but you don't have to get into all the nitty gritty details. If you need reasons why to talk to him, just go to the pregnancy section. See all the questions these kids are asking. That should be enough motivation, trust me.

Answer 9

Get him the book "Where do Babies Come From?" -- it's a nice way to introduce sex.

Is he too young? No. From my personal experience no. It's a talk that parents push off because they think they have a child who is too innocent and pure to know about sex.

I look at it like this: would you rather the TV teach your kid about sex? Or would YOU like to teach your kid about sex?

Answer 10

At 8 y o he is already getting information, and he's feeling sexual too. He already gets erections, but might not understand them. Talk about boners and stuff, if he wants more info and your comfortable talking about sexuality, he'll be able
to talk, but most boys feel more comfortable talking with other
boys(older) and with cool men.
They thirst for knowledge