Has been reading for years, it has become a problem in the last 2-3 years as she doesn't know how to solve situations using common sense. Also won't call people she talks to at school on the weekends and so has no social life. Is slim and pretty, but prefers to read fantasy fiction to just about anything else.
2007-02-26 15:04:26 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I think I found a great answer in this group, but feel free to add comments for a while longer.
By the way, she's not abnormal, she truly loves to read. Only I am objecting because if all her free time goes to reading (which I also love) then there is less time to learn how to cook or practice her instrument, etc. or to figure out what she might like to do as a career, etc. etc. That is my objection, not that she is becoming withdrawn, which she isn't.
2007-02-27 09:17:38 · update #1
That's really not a problem. People mature at different levels, and if this girl doesn't want to interact with people, that's not a problem. I read fantasy all the time, and yeah, sometimes my common sense is a little lacking, but I'm a perfectly normal human being after all those books. I mean, if she becomes a shut-in with absolutely NO interest in anything, it's a problem. Until then, just try to coax her out on a group date or something every once in a while. Make a deal with her. Tell her she can read as much as she wants as long as she promises to go out once a week.
Trust me, it's really fine, but if it worries you, just tell her about it. Trying to be sneaky and forcing her to interact will only make things worse.
2007-02-27 02:31:53 · answer #1 · answered by whoops! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 19 years old and i read all the time... or mostly when i can get a spare minute away from my stressful life, i have about a hand full of close friends... i didn't really call anyone from my school on weekends either(drama) plus i had to see them during the week. plus i loved using my imagination, i love stories and plots and putting things together... so i believe as long as she knows she cant fly off the roof of the house or breath under water she should be fine, u shouldn't suppress her imagination, u should be proud of Ur Lil bookworm not many young people like to read, hence the reason some r in trouble and as for the social life she's only 15 and she could have friends at school she just doesn't talk to them on weekends cause she sees them throughout the week
2007-02-27 01:45:54 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has been picked on at school and uses the books as a way to escape reality. She also probably doesn't have any close friends who share the same interests as her which is why she doesn't have a social life. It's better to have no social life than to have a horrible one. I know from experience. I never talked to anyone until halfway through my Freshmen year in High school when I met a group of friends who ten years later I am still friends with. Give her time to find friends who are truely her friends and not just temporary friends. Things could be worse. She could be doing drugs or getting pregnant so just be thankful for now and let her pick her own course.
2007-02-26 23:45:30 · answer #3 · answered by al l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most 15 year olds are busy sneaking out of the house, drinking, and having unprotected sex. Is this what you are afraid she's missing out on? If she enjoys the books, let her be. She's not mature enough to make grown up decisions at this point. She's probably happy with her little fantasy books. If that 's the worse that's going on with her, then you are lucky. Maybe you could try to get her interested in a hobby besides reading. Could be that she's a loner and is happy with that. Or could be that she's a loner and reads those books to escape the pressure of being a teenager now a days. I have a 14 year old honor student who doesn't have a lick of common sense. And she's not into fantasy books at all.
2007-02-27 09:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just leave her be. I don't think you can blame a lack of common sense on her reading. It really is true that some people are 'book' smart and some people are 'street' smart. And she's 15. Most 15 year-olds suffer from a lack of common sense. It's called being a teenager! If I were you, I'd be glad that she isn't out every weekend partying until all hours of the morning with people you've never met before. And at least she isn't running up the phone bill...
2007-02-26 23:40:59 · answer #5 · answered by es_puro_instinto 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i fail to see the problem here? i was the exact same way and now i am happily engaged to a man with similar intrests and have zero problem solving problems. does she seem unhappy at all? if she is happy reading then let her do her thing. you dont see the interactions she has at school, so she might actually be just fine and dandy. in the long run, this might actually help her. i find that i am usually a lot more positive than people i know who dont read, and esp those who dont read fantasy, because when im in a bad mood i am able to solve the problem, and think of something positive and fanciful to help me feel better along the way. im sorry if this isnt what you wanted to hear, but if she is happy, than let her be. she will come out of her shell eventually. if she isnt happy, then well, ask HER about her problems, not us. i havent been 15 for five years, i dont remember alot of it.
2007-02-26 23:12:28 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley M 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Easy. When I was a teen, I was obsessed with Christopher Pike. No reason other than I found his imagination to be inspiring. My mom tried forcing me to stop reading horror. Even as far as saying that it wasn't allowed in her house and if she found it she would throw them away. Library books, friends books, or school books. They'd be gone.
It made me even more determined to read them. My brother on the other hand stood up for me because at least I was reading. Eventually he brought me a book that was called What About Alice and said that he found it pretty interesting and to let him know what I thought. Because we seemed to like similar things and he stuck up for me against mom, I gave it a try.
He still brings me books out of my norm. But standing up for my interests and telling me it was okay. Left me open to his interests and suggestions. Now I am an avid reader and read almost anything I get my hands on, if only because I learned there were many interesting books. Even if it sounded stupid or boring. I would and do always give the book, magazine, or article a shot.
Look into what she reads, show an interest, and then you can draw her out. It will take time and patience. Most of all, don't attack it or be forceful. Make it clear it's up to her. I tried what my older brother tried on me, on my youngest brother. He was obsessed with R.L Stine. Now the kid has moved on to fantasy. They have to exhaust the current interest and then they will move on to other things.
Also, it may be more of a problem than she reads too much fantasy. She may be depressed or having things happen in her life that she feels she has no control over and doesn't know how to deal with. She could be burying herself in a fake, sorry to use the expression, but, fantasy world to hide from reality and the problems she faces in the real world. Try the first, and if she opens up to you, you will find out if the latter is true or not.
Slim and pretty don't mean everything. The saying still water runs deep; is frighteningly true. Trust me. I know.
2007-02-26 23:22:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take her to a counselor this sounds like their may be some emotional problems down deeper beneath the fantasy world. I have been in a similar situatuion involving the Harry Potter book series. I felt like I was there and I was kind of sucked into the world of Harry Potter. I finnaly fell out of it because I realized I was over the top and I didnt like being at hogwarts 24/7, though your situation is similar it seems like their is something deeper cause I was still socializing...
2007-02-26 23:31:06 · answer #8 · answered by !@#$%^&*()_+ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Agh! *is insulted* how dare you! sheesh, have YOU ever read any harry potter stuff! I guess YOU've never read about flying blue donkeys 8 feet tall etither have you? *sniff sniff* lol
I was the same way, but my dad forced me to check out non-fiction stuff at the libraries. If you know for a fact she has friends, she does very well in school (at least half are As) then she should be okay.
2007-02-27 17:08:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reading's great for people. Especially teenagers. I mean, wouldn't you rather her be reading fantasy than doing drugs? If you're really concerned, you could try and encourage her to find other's with the same interests as her. Then even if it was reading, they could enjoy it together. But really, if she's happy, then she seems all set. But everyone does need some people interaction.
2007-02-26 23:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by It's a secret... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋