had a bad childhood - disfunctional, abusive and poor family. now am grown with nice family. financially successful-can do anything i wish. why do i feel guilty because i have so much? am always giving money and other things to other family members. they dont appreciate it at all and always want more. why cant i say no and not worry about them. i know it is their own fault they have nothing - they dont work - they spend money like its nothing.
this guilty spills over to my friends also where i find myself not being able to say no because i will feel guilty. i have what i have from hard work and wanting a better life than i grew up with - why isnt that enough for me.
2007-02-26 14:43:28 · 6 answers · asked by friendship 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should lead by example, help those who will help themselves...not enable those who are not appreciative nor does it help them get ahead...where is the fruit of your labors going...no where...I can see why your not happy with your efforts...your in control here..put your resources to better use...and become proud of what you are doing...good luck.
2007-02-26 14:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feeling guilty is a personal emotion that you have always had. Your family probably always made you feel guilty - and now you success in your own life is just a vehicle for it.
You probably need counseling - when you get a little older you will realize that you can't help people with money - they have to help themselves.
I did the same with my brother - (coming from the same type of family) it took me until I was in my 30's to realize I can't help someone who won't help himself. Tough love.
If you have to move out of the state and not give your address then that's what you do. Only respond to them by e-mail so they can't track you down.
If you can't move then either accept them as they are and continue to give them money - or - get over it, move on and maybe in the future you can establish a healthy relationship with them.
2007-02-26 22:50:22 · answer #2 · answered by totalstressor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just guessing, it sounds like to are trying to win approval from others by material things. It is not a bad thing to help others out as long as they are really trying to help themselves. From what you say, you would be better off to help those who really appreciate it and are trying to better themselves. You have no reason to feel guilty! It took me many years to learn to say no. You would be wise to put money back for your future because if something happened I don't think these people would be there to help you out.
2007-02-26 22:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by Jodi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sharing a feature with others that you yourself remember the hardships......
Its human nature.....
Your a good man...I'm much the same ...
and bytimes I give my neighbour my last slice of bread leaving myself with none !
2007-02-26 22:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by yahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIND A WAY 2 SAY NO CUZ THEY WILL CAUSE U 2 LOOSE EVERYTHING.
2007-02-26 23:11:36 · answer #5 · answered by mosrider2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THERAPY
2007-02-26 22:47:26 · answer #6 · answered by drezdogge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋