My ex and I are on very good terms overtly. I'm finding, however, that I still harbor a great deal of resentment toward her. The way she broke it off was cold and callous, and she said some unkind thigs to some mutual acquaintances. We work together so we HAVE to get along. I want to restore the great friendship we had before we dated, but I seem to be stuck on angry. What's the best way to find forgiveness for her?
2007-02-26 14:36:31 · 5 answers · asked by aquaman2964 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forgiveness is easy. Forgetting is impossible. And the way "she broke it off", whatever that was, says something about her character and who she really is.
Probably, the anger is just the result of figuring out she wasn't who you thought she was; she fooled you. I don't know anything else about her character that might lead to resentment from what you have posted here, but you can add any of that onto the anger pile too.
Just give it some time. Sooner or later you will move on to the acceptance stage when you realize being angry is a huge waste of energy, and then you can decide if she is even the kind of person you want to be friends with.
2007-02-26 14:44:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I applaud that you are on good terms with your ex. I don't know that the great friendship that you had before you dated will ever return. I do know that you can forgive. You can do this by being grateful for what she brought into your life. For every bad thing that happened or she did, think of the good that it's brought into your life (i.e. you recognize kindness in others easier; you now have a better idea of what it is that you're looking for in a mate and list those things). Out of every bad experience, there is something good and it's up to you to find it.
good luck.
2007-02-27 00:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that forgiveness is giving up all hope of having a better past. You can't change what has happened, but you can let go of your anger for yourself and your own future happiness. It's not that you have to excuse what she has done or condone how she has treated you. You need to forgive her to have peace for yourself and let go of the resentment inside of you to leave room for positive things in the future.
It's a daily practice, but it's sure to get easier!
2007-02-26 23:03:13 · answer #3 · answered by storm_in_teacup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will take time and healing on your part to be able to do so someday. You may possibly need counseling to help with this as well. Just treat her with respect and dignity when you see her and she may respond kindly to you someday in return. Treat her the way that you would want to be treated. You will have to let go of the anger or it will eat you up inside and it is not worth the pain Trust me.
2007-02-26 22:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just treat her as an acquaintance. maybe it might feel good to ignore her. not so much as the silent treatment but just keep your distance. And then let her see you or hear you talking to another girl!
no matter how she left the relationship, for whatever reason if there is any indication that another chic is in her newly left territory then imaginations run wild.
2007-02-26 22:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋