I'm 16 and pregnant. Both my parents smoke. Secondhand smoke can hurt my baby, right? What should I do?

Question

I'm 16 and pregnant, I know, spare me the lecture. I plan on receiving prenatal care through a clinic that is 100% confidential. I am not going to tell my parents until I start showing, around 3-5 months.

Both parents smoke in the house- ALOT.

I want to protect my baby, but I just dont know how!

Are my parents allowed to kick me out at this age?
If they do, I have a place to go- and it's smoke free.

I don't want to raise hell (reason why I dont tell them yet) because my mother is currently battling cancer (yes from smoking!).

How can I protect my baby?

Answer 1

hmmm...You don't want your parents to smoke in their own house? That seems a little bendictive to me but oh well. I guess you could say their smoking is bothering you.

Answer 2

I know this sounds SO cliche, but I really see God's plan here... your mom is battling cancer, yet neither of your parents seem to be taking that too seriously, or else they would stop smoking.

You know what they need right now? A reason to try. What better reason than a grandbaby?

I urge you to tell them... I've seen a lot of friends go through this (my own sister included), and it's NEVER turned out like they thought. In each situation, the parents were supportive. They will be disappointed, but I promise it won't last long.

You might even say something to the extent of "I know this isn't what you need right now, and I'm sorry, but I really need some encouragement."

You might raise hell for a day or two, but once it all sinks in, take advantage and offer to leave if that's what they need. Gently tell them it's unhealthy for you to be around the smoke (and for your mom too!). It might take a day, a week, or several months, but they will pull through for you eventually.

The longer you wait, the harder it will be to tell them. You don't need that stress right now. Parents appreciate honesty and forwardness... everyone resents being deceived, which is what you'll be doing if you wait until you start to show.

Answer 3

If your parents truly love you----you must tell them ASAP and not wait "until you show". The greatest risk to your pregnancy is in the first 3 months and they need to be aware of the fact that their behaviors might be creating a risk to your infant.

You've got to tell them both---Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you. Prepare yourself for a bad reaction and try very hard to listen to them---you are still their child and still a minor. Your mother might have cancer but she still needs to know what is going on and very soon! I can't stress how important that is. I'm not sure what the laws are in your state regarding minors, but I suppose your parents could tell you to leave---it just wouldn't be something I would do as a parent.

You've got some tough stuff ahead, but I'm glad you're so eager to do the right thing for your baby---not enough people do. Hang in there---what's done is done and you have to move forward.

As a pediatric (baby/child) nurse I can tell you firsthand that smoking is one of the WORST things especially for a new born or child under 2. If at all possible I'd raise the child away from a smoking environment.

Answer 4

It's too bad that they smoke in the house with you there. I don't care if it is their house, you have to live there and you shouldn't be exposed to it either (pregnant or not). Since you can't control that, I think you are right to be concerned. As others have suggested, you might try going for a walk or going to your room when they light up. As for your question about if they can "kick you out".... You could ask to become an emmancipated minor. I friend of mine did it when he was 16 and didn't have nearly as good a reason as you. His parents agreed to it voluntarily, so there was very little court cost.
He basically just had to show that he could take care of himself, support himself and get to school.

Good luck to you and your baby. Your concern shows you are already being a great mom.

Answer 5

I don't believe they can legally kick you out until you are 18. I would try to get all the help I can from government agencies and advice on finding a job later on so that you can be prepared. Yes, it will be hard, but if you do nothing, it will be harder.
You definitely need to keep the baby away from the smoke. You know what, you should tell them now. Yes, they will probably be very angry and freak out in the beginning, but that might cause them to be more responsible and realize they are killing their grandchild and stop or at least slow down on their smoking. It's a hard lesson, but it might a major turning point in all of your lives right now (but you need to take action and let them know or if your child dies later, they will be even more upset that you said nothing)!

Answer 6

If you have another place to go then you need to move. If your old enough to get pregnant then your old enough to be on your own. It is your parents house. You will be going to a clinic for prenatal care at the expense of the taxpayers. Take care of yourself and make it on your own before you bring a child in the world. Your parents smoking is their business. They know the dangers. Until you support your parents you can't tell them what to do. Grow up and get a job and support yourself and baby when you have it. Stop taking advantage of taxpayers by getting welfare. Going to a clinic is getting welfare because you are not paying for it.

Answer 7

If you really want to protect your baby you need to tell your parents because they really need to stop smoking around you and now is the time because this is a very vital time in the babies developing stages. If you don't get away from the smoke the baby could get asthma and could have lung problems or be born prematurely.

Answer 8

Two things first!
No1. I'm sorry about your Mum I hope she comes through it.
No2. Congratulations.

I was shocked when I seen your age but when you read through everything else that you had to say it sounds like you're a very intelligent girl who has already started making the right choices. By getting the information you need.

I think you will make the right choices in telling them and about the smoking.
When you tell them, let them do the yelling and stay calm.

Answer 9

ok i'm 17 years old..i got pregnant when i was 16. I was kicked out of my dads house because he thinks i'm a whore and i'm with a guy he totally despises . Well to tell you the honest to god truth moving out is not nessessarily the best way it is hell to be honest always worried about paying bills and buying food then on top of that they put you on maternity leave and you are broke and paying for bills and food then you have to worry about paying for a baby on top of it all ....it is stressing ..overly stressing i know i've broken down many times. BUT them smoking should not run you out of the house the best solution is to open a few windows or go for a walk and explaine to your mother that you dont want your baby to be affected by it and she is the grandparent and they all have sensitive sides when it comes to grand children...so what i'm saying is do what you want but remember for every easy solution there are set backs

Answer 10

Sorry, honey but you really need to tell them, NOW. You are going to make things waaaay harder for yourself and them if you don't tell them right away. They may offer some much needed support, not to mention that they might stop smoking in the house when you are there. Honesty really is the best policy in this case. I am not sure if it is illegal for them to kick you out or not, but if they do, you are lucky that you have a place to go. Face the music, sweetie, that's all I can say to you.

Answer 11

Yes secondhand smoke is really dangerous for your child. I think you should bite the bullet and tell them. They of course will be upset but they need to know so that they can stop smoking near you.