My friend is living with her mother, a single paent, who was divorced. One time i heard her talk to her mom and it was on the rude side so i jokingly said, you are so mean to your mom, and she simply said, you don't know what she's like. I didnt start to think of it until now. She also seems to dread being home alone with her mom and when i confront her about their behaveior, she gets defensive and mad at me. i really don't want to call the police and lose my best friend, but right now it seems like the only way to handle this. i care very much about her and i really cant stand to see her get hurt. tonight for example, i was on the phone with her and she was all happy and in the middle of a story, and all of a sudden she got a really sad voice and said, i have to go, bi. and she got off before i got any answer. imreally worried about her, and i don't know what to do. please don't tell me to go to the police, because that is my last choice, and i really don't want to hear it. Help me!!!
2007-02-26 14:26:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'll say that she is in denial for one thing see there are three(?) types of abuse physical, verbal, mental/emotional reading your description she seems to not have any scars or bruises but if you live in like Florida or someplace hot and she's wearing long sleeves I'd question it when you do bring up her mother and she gets mad she's in denial and angry at her mom for something but you said the mom is divorced she possibly (idk) may have liked her dad more and is mad that she is stuck with her mom now the verbal abuse does she get upset when someone raises their voice? or something like that. the mental/emotional (idk) but DON'T tell your friend you feel her pain b/c you don't (most likely) the only thing you can do is
1)find out if she is really being abused
2) tell her she is a good friend
3)be a good friend and be supportive
4)watch for her safety and tell somebody
5) don't pressure her to tell you that will only make her withdrawal deeper if she says "it doesn't matter" tell her it does matter b/c you care for her and her safety
you seem to be a very good friend i think there are hot lines for these types of situations in like a school planner or phone book and good luck
2007-02-26 14:46:40 · answer #1 · answered by yukonSLT3 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to the councelor at school (hopefully you still are in school). If not try calling a local Domestic Violence assistance line and ask them for advice. This is a very hard thing to go though but even if you lose your friend because you call the police. You are helping her live her life the way everyone deserves to live. Eventually she will see that you only had her best interest at heart.
2007-02-26 14:38:17 · answer #2 · answered by foodie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call the police. All you have to go on is that she doesnt' want to go home and she had to get off of the phone. This was me when I was a teenager and I didn't like my mom and I wasn't abused. I wasn't allowed on the phone and I didn't want to go home.
Have you seen suspicious marks? Since this is a divorced home, it is probably not a happy one anyway.
2007-02-26 14:34:47 · answer #3 · answered by coutterhill 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont confront her about it or at least do it kindly. she might be embarrassed or feel weak or not want her mom to find out. if she tries to talk to you about try not to give advice just listen and be her friend. dont call the police unless you have solid evidence shes being abused. try talking to someone you trust who can actually do something about. i dont know how old u are but if ur still in school talk to a teacher u know and trust or maybe ur parents or just another friend. hope that helps.
good luck
2007-02-26 14:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern for your friend but you can't go the police without your friend actually saying there is abuse. tell her that she can tell you anything do not judge her behavior towards her mom because then she will feel like you don't understand and that she can't talk to you. If she does open up then you need to involve your parents so they can help you help your friend. if you don't want to talk to your parents about it then go to any adult you trust {teacher,aunt}any one that can help
2007-02-26 14:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't go to police i think thats just a wrong way to handle the situation because it would maybe get your friend mad... but why not talk to her about it? and whats going on with her at home?
2007-02-26 14:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need more evdience
u need to kno 4 sure if she is being abused
gather enough info so u can draw a conclusion
then if u feel that it is nessary to contact a police than do so
ask ur friend 1st
2007-02-26 14:33:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a possibility of abuse.If you let it go on
then your friendship isn't true.It wouldn't hurt to have
the situation checked out by an authority figure like
Social Services or even a cop.
2007-02-26 14:33:19 · answer #8 · answered by sharen d 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can try to talk to her again and let her know that no matter what that you are there for her, if that does not work then you can go to your parents, your counselor and let them know what you suspect and maybe they can find out whats going on with her, she just may not want to get you involved.
2007-02-26 14:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by Terry Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a sleepover and invite her. If she says her mom says no because she has other "stuff" to do she probaly is. If mom says yes look at your friend when she's at your house and give your tightest bear hug. If she says she feels like her back is brused get her some ice and put it on her back. Tell her if she puts the ice on her back herself it'll tighten her muscle. If her back is brused you know what's going on at home.
2007-02-26 14:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by cheryl r 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋