Hey Im 14 weeks pregnant. I had my daughter when I was 18 years old... My grandparents made me feel like crap. Well Im so worried to tell them that Im pregnant again, though the guy Im with we are engaged and madly in love. My gradparents especially my grandmother does everything by the Bible and like I said Im so scared to tell her. Shes one of those ones that always makes people feel bad about themselves.
So I need some advice on how to tell her...
Its sad that I need to even be worried
2007-02-26 14:08:25 · 18 answers · asked by mom_2_b_again 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I hate to say this, but if your grandmother was true to the bible, she would not bask in making people feel bad. You need to explain to her that you are very happy, you and your partner are looking forward to the arrival and even if they don't like it, are going to have a happy family before your married.
It's not a big deal, surround yourself with people who support you, and while I'm not saying cut your grandparents out, just limit the contact you have with them. The last thing your babies need are people making them feel either unwanted or a result of 'sin'. Your children will pick up on their comments.
Emphasize the fact that they have a gread grandchild on the way, perhaps make it a little more about them, and that you cant wait for your baby to be born so he or she can meet his or her great grandparents.
If you feel you have to, back it up by going back to the point that you are a family and you are getting married.
Good luck, congratulations and I hope all goes well.
2007-02-26 14:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by kimison_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any way you fight it they will probably try to make you feel bad. At least you have the advantage of knowing that. Work on your confidence and hold your ground when you tell them. If they try to say anything that will upset you just smile and leave for a few moments. Go take a walk and come back. The idea is to only expose yourself to the positive conversation and not the negative. Getting worked up or upset will only cause unnecesary stress and that isn't good when you are pregnant. If you are not upset about having a baby then don't let them make you feel upset about it. Be proud and tell them proudly. If they don't like it that is there problem and they need to get over it but you just need to stay calm and collective.
2007-02-26 23:10:48 · answer #2 · answered by al l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't help on your question, but sometimes in situations like this, the mother is too embarrassed by an unplanned pregnancy to get pre-natal care as soon as she knows she is pregnant. If that applies to you, all I can say is immediately go pop a vitamin with some protein and also get some pre-natal vitamins if you haven't already. Your baby's health trumps everything--disapproving relatives, financial problems, relationship problems (sounds like you don't have this particular problem).
Sorry to even bring this up, but I worry every time I hear about a woman who has an unplanned pregnancy, because I always fear for the baby. I didn't take prenatal vitamins for months with my second pregnancy, and I had a baby with problems, and all can attribute it to was the symptoms of a vitamin deficiency that I had (tongue hurt, broke out, I suspect Vitamin B complex deficiency). It could be due to something genetic, but then again, maybe not. I had a pretty severe deficiency, panicked, didn't know what to do so did nothing (what was I thinking???), and precious time went by.
So please take vitamins daily--it's just good prenatal care.
With respect to your problem, just get married by a justice of the peace right away. Then it won't matter.
Good luck.
2007-02-26 22:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are over 18 then why worry about it? I would say just sit down and in a calm, rational manner tell them that you have something to share that they may not approve of. Just explain that you love them and value their opinion, however, them getting angry or making you feel badly is not going to change the fact that you are expecting. Wish you the best of luck, with the pregnancy and your grandparents. :)
2007-02-26 22:13:54 · answer #4 · answered by Azure M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom to be. You made a mistake but, the baby is precious. Speak with your fiance first about getting married, which of course is the right thing to do.
I'm sorry that your grandparents will make you feel badly but, they just love you and are concerned about you raising the child. They are probably concerned about how this will effect them financially also. Do not expect them to pay for your responsibilities.
Because they follow the teachings of God, they understand that problems arise when we do not obey Him.
What's done is done. You and your fiance must be responsible and take care of your children physically, financially and spiritually. Be the right example to those children. Get married now. God bless.
2007-02-26 22:55:19 · answer #5 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How old are you now?
Is your fiance the father of baby #1 also? If not then learn to use birth control. If so then the two of you need to get married before you reproduce even more.
If he isn't I can see why you'd be scared to tell her. In her eyes she see's you as a little "ho-ho" as I call them. See if you'd of used birth control (let me guess...it didn't work?) or just kept your legs closed you wouldn't have to worry about this. Obviously you didn't learn with having your daughter out of wedlock............
No sympathy here.
2007-02-26 22:32:02 · answer #6 · answered by M M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you have about 6 and 1/2 months to figure it out. Is marriage in the cards that'll help Grandma accept it. And really, as long as you are happy, isn't that all that matters.
2007-02-26 22:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by jaypea40 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try getting married first. Court house will take care of things so you won't have to be a times two mom with just another guy in grandma's eyes.
2007-02-27 01:41:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me as long as you are happy about your baby, that's good enough, I know you love your grandparents, but this is your life. As long as you make good choices for your kids, and they are taking care of, that's all you can do. Just sit down and say, I know your not going to approve, but I am pregnant and we are happy. good luck
2007-02-26 22:13:43 · answer #9 · answered by sonya h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight up with them. It really is none of their business, and because they are church goers they should know it isnt their place to judge you. Do not let them make you feel bad, this is your life and your choice, Just make sure they do not pass their judgements on to your child when it is born. Good luck!
2007-02-26 22:13:02 · answer #10 · answered by chickfromthelotuspod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋