She claims that she will try again if they ever break up again. He cares about her, but doesn't want to be with her. He feels that if he leaves her again, her next attempt will be successful and he wouldn't be able to live with himself. How do you deal with someone like that?!
2007-02-26 13:52:41 · 14 answers · asked by moonflower1980 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
the ex sounds passive aggressive. She's manipulating him and he's falling for it. He has to realize what she's doing to him in order for him to give her up completely. He must have been with her for quite a while, so he's got to have feelings for her, which is understandable. The best thing to do is tell him that she is manipulating him and he needs to let her know that he will be there for her, but he does not want to be with her. He's got a new person in his life so she needs to grow up. (Unless she's attempted suicide before, and is severely depressed, she most likely will not do it)
2007-02-26 13:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by Jess 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hard core answer to that is if she's suicidal, she'll kill herself whether he stays or not and needs massive help. If she's not, she won't and still needs massive help. Either way, they may make minor attempts to appear for real or for practice.
It's way beyond him staying if she's serious. That river goes way deep and was there long before he probably even knew her.
Breaking free: He needs to accept that she's the only one responsible for that action. He'll one day have to make the decision to leave her to her fate and probably at a time where he cares a lot less what she does. Might as well do it now, but not by walking away.
He needs to alert her family about it. If that doesn't work, he should call a hotline or get in touch with a social worker and have her get help whether she wants it or not if she is very seriously suicidal.
The most difficult thing about someone like that is they might be faking suicidal tendencies but you can't ever believe someone is just faking it.
As for you, you need to get a feel of what's going on. Is he trapped in this or is he feeding into it? That's a powerful emotion, feeling needed to such a degree. Is he trapped or feeding into it?
They both may be something you might want to consider leaving well enough alone.
Sorry, no easy answers to that kind of question.
2007-02-26 14:52:21 · answer #2 · answered by Whiskeybone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing, Do not over text her. She will get annoyed and if you keep telling her "TAKE ME BACK I LOVE YOU." Learn here https://tr.im/JAss7
She will not want you even more. You need to show her that you don't need her and can live your life without her. She still cares about you I am sure. Maybe try "flirting" with other girls around her to make her jealous. I know its bad, but if i saw my ex flirting with someone else it would make me REALLY ANGRY. However, you still need to show her you care about her too. Show her what she's missing and remind her of it. Be confident and don't show your broken heart. Try ignoring her? Girls hate that. You want her to come to you. Once she does this YOU have all the power.
She will realize what you mean to her and she will hopefully come crawling back. (I am in the same situation as you, except I am the girl trying to get my ex back). Try not to be so clingy and give her space. But try to be around so she sees you, but don't talk to her much. Keep convos short and if you txt her, which you shouldn't, then also keep it short and bland. This will be hard to do because you just want to let her in your life again, but you can't. If you show her that you are desperate to get her back, she won't go for it. Make her come to you and REMIND her of all that she is missing out on. Hope this helps. And trust me, I know how you feel. Girls usually come around easier than guys so you should be lucky. ughh wish i could say the same.
2016-07-19 13:10:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His ex needs help. She will continue to manipulate him to keep him. My ex was suicidal and he messed with my head very much and in the end, he left me to be w/ someone else. He seeks attention and emotional support. And it sounds like your bf's ex is doing the same. She has layed a huge burden on him he does not need and he will resent her for it in the long run. You should seperate yourself from him and her. But he needs to realize he cannot do this forever, and if at all he should tell her she needs professional help, and he needs to walk away from this. Remember if she ever goes thru with suicide, he needs to know very well, that it is not his fault. She is sick.
2007-02-26 15:05:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/C4dEa
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-25 22:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one "has" to go back to an ex unless they choose too. Most likely, he still an issue with allowing himself to be controlled by her, which was probably one of the reasons he needed to vacate the relationship with her in the first place.
If you really loved someone, would you try to imprison them? Or, would you want them to as happy as possible even if that happiness was without you in your life?
As long as he allows her or anyone else to dictate his life and his actions, he will never be free.
The real problem is that he still allows himself to be used.
2007-02-26 14:13:38 · answer #6 · answered by JD_in_FL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ever I have ever heard such nonsense. She needs a good psychiatrist. So does he for going back. He has just made matters worse. Get the boy out of there and move to another state.
That's ridiculous. Where are her parents. He is not to blame and the guilt should not be on his shoulders.
If he thinks he has helped far from it. It;s called BLACKMAIL and she needs to be taken to a hospital for treatment.
2007-02-26 14:06:19 · answer #7 · answered by aotea s 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You refer to him,"as your boyfriend" if he is back with her he is no longer your boyfriend. If he is bedding both of you, that's something else. Unless he is a mental health person, he is not going to help. If he wants to help have him contact the suicide hot line, and take their advise. As for how you deal with it. Value yourself for the person you are, and find yourself someone that will appreciate you. MOVE ON it not a positive situation for you.
2007-02-26 14:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by All-One 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, she is a very sick individual who is manipulating him and he is falling for it. Not smart on his part, she is playing on his guilt. She needs help, lots of it too.
Second, he needs to get a grip. Obviously, he has some issues too. His actions show he does not have loyalty to you, he didn't even consider what this would do to you. How does that make you feel?
Third, count yourself fortunate that he is out of your life. Don't take him back, this guy and his ex are losers, don't let them be a part of your life.
2007-02-26 14:01:37 · answer #9 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The "ex" is manipulating him, but good! If she wants to commit suicide, tell her to do it... She needs treatment and to get a life!
Your boyfriend needs to quit enabling her passive-agressive behavior! He's just adding to the problem.
2007-02-26 14:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by mhcgjl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋