I dont agree with the relationship in the first place. i have just found out today that my daughter's boyfriend is a cokehead and turned his last girlfriend out on coke. i have tried to talk to my daughter in the past, sharing with her that there was something about this boy i didnt trust, and it creates a wedge between us...she shuts down completely and wont listen. now i know why i didnt care for this guy. she is 19 going on 20 and is a sophmore in college, and its breaking my heart because she lives with this dude! and to top it off, today her cousin got an invitation on myspace for a friend who had his picture on her page, describing him as her boyfriend-and he took the pic in front of my house! i know showing her the website may make things worse but i have got to try..what else can i do??
2007-02-26 13:52:08 · 18 answers · asked by D.... 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this is serious folks...please advise accordingly...
2007-02-26 13:54:17 · update #1
It hurts like hell when our children are involved in what we know to be bad relationships and we want nothing more than to run and snatch them up and protect them from the pain we know is to come. It is the nature of the parent and we would not be a very good one if we did not feel this way.
But sometimes we lose sight of the fact that our children grow up and must learn hard lessons in life just as we did. The very reason you know this relationship is headed for disaster is because you have EXPERIENCED the same type of relationship!
We as parents can put a strain on our relationship with our children by trying to treat them as if they are still 'our babies', you know what I mean?
I would suggest that you have a talk with your daughter and exercise the only option you have, simply express your concerns about the relationship. Show her the website, but DO NOT lecture, scold, or try to discipline her. You must respect the decisions she is currently making, even if you don't agree with them. And above all else, be ready with open arms when she comes to you for comfort after realizing her mistake.
I will definitely be praying for you.
2007-02-26 14:07:37 · answer #1 · answered by fenway2k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront your daughter. Sit her down and try as best you can to have a heartfelt talk. Tell her in a calm way what you feel and how worried you are for her. Tell her that you know about the drugs, and ask if that is how she envisions her life ending up. Tell her drugs will make her schooling all for nothing. See if she really loves this guy, but be gentle. You should show her the site even if in the short run it does make things worse. In the long run, things could be even worse than that for your daughter's health. Your relationship probably will be on shaky ground for a little bit, but you really need to spend a day with her and just talk. My mom always came through to me like this.
2007-02-26 21:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by Rose♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is in her rebelious stage, and she is going to do what she is going to do, the best thing you can do is be a friend to her, coke is every where in college and it is a very very addictive drug, it makes you think less and less of what and who you love and it makes everything that you once liked insignificant, find out what she really likes in the guy and tell her to watch as those things she loved about him fade away, ive been clean for 2 years and i know what it is like to be a "cokehead" and turn people on to the drug, it killed my relationships and it will kill his too, show her the page, sit down and talk to her as a friend, and dont finance her living with him.. dont pay for her room if he is living there, make her get a job, and be self supporting
2007-02-26 21:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by CuriousGeorge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the cops give them the make, model and lic pale of his car and report a dui after he picks up your daughter for a date. You don't have to give your name or any other information. They will pull him over and search him and your daughter. This will show your daughter what she is dating and the people she is hanging out with. As long as your daughter is not holding or using coke she will be release to you without being charge.
2007-02-26 22:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is trouble, you know this. But your daughter is of age, and she needs to see this guy for what he is. As her mother, you need to do everything possible to get her away from that lifestyle, turn him in, get the authorities involved and get her out of there, no matter what it takes. This is your daughter, not some stranger. BUST THIS DIRTBAG!!! immediately, this will lead her to the slammer too and a life of problems that she will not get away from. Ask her if she knows the meaning of the word, "accomplice", "aiding and abedding". you know the old saying, "you are known by the company you keep"! Good Luck.
2007-02-26 22:02:54 · answer #5 · answered by tennman012000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know the guy is a coke head, call the cops. Turn him in! Your daughter might get mad now, but she'll thank you in the long run. Tough love is better than a drugged out, or worse (dead) daughter.
2007-02-26 21:58:03 · answer #6 · answered by jare bare 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so very sorry that you are going through this but I am afraid that there is little to nothing that you can do. Your daughter is young but she is over 18 and not under your control. If she will not listen to your advice all you can do is to try and be there for her when she finally opens her eyes if she ever does. I am so sorry for you all.
2007-02-26 22:08:22 · answer #7 · answered by cindyloo f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id take that little punk aside, and tell him that if he doesnt stop, then you'll turn him in to the cops. he'll lose his place, your daughter and his freedom all at once. if that doesnt get his attention, then show her the website and turn him into the bad-guy, make your daughter realize what a piece of crap he is. your the parent, and even though she is legal age to do what she likes, there is still nothing like good parental advice.
2007-02-26 22:00:26 · answer #8 · answered by nissx240 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to hear this, but i would definately show her the website, even if she gets angry with you. hopefully she doesn't resort to doing the drugs too. and if she doesn't do them, she will probably eventually end the relationship. have you asked her if he's threatened her if she leaves? i'm not a cokehead expert but i have had a couple friends in the same situation.
2007-02-26 21:56:13 · answer #9 · answered by Casey 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stop at nothing to split them apart. I would report him to the cops and do whatever you can. Cokeheads cannot be trusted and your daughter is too important even if it means she gets mad at you. Definately show her the website.
Good luck
2007-02-26 22:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋