imainly i spose cos i cant decide whether i want to be in this relationship. ive been thinking for all this time but i cant decide. We have stopped having sex and i sometimes feel suffocated and i feel anxious a lot of the time. I really love him but half of me wants to just be independent and live by myself and only have to worry about myself..and this relationship makes me feel tired ...like i always have to be the strong one leading everything and i would just like him to take charge. also i wonder (this sounds horrible) if i couldnt do better and be happier on my own. i guess what im asking is i hve been thinking about moving out for just a month and he could go on living here like normal and i will pay my share..but just to have a chance to be me and not worry about someone else. if he wanted i wouldnt sleep with anyone else. Is this normal way to feel? am i being unreasonable? do you think he should go along with me doing this? it just feels wrong to break up.
2007-02-26 13:21:33 · 8 answers · asked by darkling 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your not married thats number 1
You are feeling basically helpless in a relationship that is getting you nowhere number 2
Number 3 a girl has to do what a girl has to do.
I think you are more afraid of breaking it off with him because of the hurt it will cause him. You have to stop thinking like that. You have to start thinking about the positive outcome it will bring you. You are not being fair to him now when you are not emotionally commited anymore. Its time to move on. You care about this man, I understand that. If he cared about you, however, he would want to see you happy regardless if you were with him or not. If you are going to break it off, do it all together. Theres no compromise or deals being made. That will only cause more hurt for the both of you.
2007-02-26 13:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by hbuckmeister 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breaking Up, it feels wrong but thats exactly what you are trying to do. The truly sad thing is that it sounds as if you want the spouse to approve (so to speak saving face)so you don`t have to stand up and face the fact that you will be seen as are responsible for putting the marriage on hold or ending it alltogather, and you want your peers to beleive that the relationship you have with your spouse has issues that have caused the parting of way instead of you being judged for the split.It`s selfish and immoral.There is a way to leave legally,Go to a lawyer and file for a Legal Seperation.You made a personal committment,binding by law.Now to pursue this path you are are longingly dreaming of, you need to take the high road and do things in an honest and up front manner so it doesn`t come back around to bite you in the end...Marrige doesn`t have to be a burden unless you make it one.You cannot hold someone-else accountable for whom an what you are or for the way you feel.
2007-02-26 22:50:34 · answer #2 · answered by nighneev 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not wrong to have atrial separition and you both sort out what you want from life life is too short to be unhappy the wrong thing would be to let current situation continue maybe he is the wrong type 4 you if you been thinking this since you got together then you should have acted a long time ago but this needs you to be strong also he might also find someone better suited you need to both be honest
2007-03-02 17:12:54 · answer #3 · answered by ariesfunram 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if the bastard won't marry you. you should move on with your life.. he has taken your best years. he has put nothing into the relationship, he was just used you and abused you. he should stand up and be a Man, but it is to late for that, he has blown it. let him go to work one day move out take all your things and just leave a note that say, you left your run to late goodbye and get a life but not with me.
Really you deserve better than that, he has a house keeper and a live in come whatever, I am sorry to you.
2007-02-27 11:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by Ignatious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have never really been able to be on your own and find out who you are inside.Just explain this to him, sometimes we just get into relationship ruts. We want to take a break then we think, god all the years. But the truth is we can't love someone fully until, we know and love ourselves (sounds cheesy i know but it's true).
2007-02-26 22:33:30 · answer #5 · answered by BED 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need some time to sort your feelings out...and also tell him how you are feeling. I was in a relationship for 7 years and we just broke up. I now realize that maybe I did lose myself somewhere along the lines..It was me and him and not just me....But once he was gone..I felt heartbroken. I loved me and him..but I am also loving just me..So just tell him how you are feeling. Good Luck
2007-02-26 21:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by angelsdeath420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, you may feel like its brong to breakup, but that is the road you are heading on, what you are talking about is a trial seperation, and yes, you can do that, its normal if you feel infulfilled in a relationship, so yea, go for it, don't be surprised if you two wind up divorced, and don't get angry if he finds someone new to be happy with
2007-02-26 21:28:56 · answer #7 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell him how you are feeling, write to him, or email him, pour out your heart to him...pray....prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives.....Jesus loves you
2007-02-26 21:30:22 · answer #8 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋