Am I crazy for wanting a baby?

Question

I'm 19 years old and a senior in High School about ready to graduate. I have a fiancee that I live with. I left my mom's house because she was too abusive. I moved in with my best friend and she turned me into something I really didn't want to be (a druggie) I really didn't want to be that type of person so I thought it was best to get out of there. So, my boyfriend told me I could come and stay with him and his dad, his grandma, and his cousin. I've been living here for the past 9 months and we're engaged to be married. You see, the reason I'm asking this question is because I've been around babies my whole life. I watched them grow up and I helped raised some of them and I really want a baby. I love to take care of them and I love to watch them grow up and become young adults. My family keeps asking me when is there gonna be another addition to the family and I keep telling when they least expect it. But the truth is I don't know. I really want a baby. What do you think will be best?

Answer 1

I think it would be best if you went about things in this order. Finish High School, and go on to further education, learn a skill, trade, something that gets you the ability to earn above a minimum wage (because HEY, you never know what will happen in life, and if you bring a baby into the world, you want to know that you can provide for it financially, right?). Then along the way, you marry your fiance, after dating another couple of years to make sure you really are compatible. In fact, it might not be a a bad idea to live on your own for a while, see what it feels like to be independent and 'live' a little. Then you settle down, have your baby(s). You would probably make a great mother, some people, that's what they want in life because they are good at nurturing, but just use a little common sense and practicality along the way, so that life isn't so hard for you.

Answer 2

Doesn't sound like your really ready to have children. There is a HUGE difference from helping raise and raising. Your living with your boyfriend in a house filled with other people. You need to try to get yourself established first. Your own house, a steady job, and emotional stability also. Having a baby is NOT a solution to problems. And often make the situation worse. They are wonderful little people who should be born out of love and joy.
I have always 'help raise' others in my family. But slightly after my 18th b'day, I had my first child, 17 months later I had my second child. It was excessively hard and neither of us had a steady job or place to live. We have over come all this and doing well now, Another child a few years back (I'm 33).

Answer 3

you cant fix the relationship with your mom by having a baby. no matter how well you raise her, you will still have the hurt your mom left you with,

you deserve better than that, better than being nothing more than a young mother living with inlaws

you deserve a full family, with a husband and children and a house and a dog, and you deserve independence financially
you know its not the right time, but you do deserve a baby, there is nothing wrong with YOU that would make you a bab mom
there is something wrong with the situation your in, so you have to live your like the baby is already here, work hard, get your own place, get a great job and sock at least a years worth of rent aside before you conceive

because you deserve it

Answer 4

Yes I was the same age as you are and I did how I wished I would have never had done it I hated me kid for years just because of my own chose that I made to have a kid I felt that she took away a part of my life that I should have had so NO do not until you are about 24 or older then you will not hate your kid or kids the way I did but now when I reached 25 I loved the idea of having kids now I love them all the same but my 1st kid did feel it I know she did take your time you are still young and you still have allot of time left to have them too.

Answer 5

Give it a little time. Both of you need to be finished with school, get a job and to be able to take care of yourselves first. Make sure you have a home (you and b/f not with other people) and decent transportation. If you cant afford to take care of yourselves you wont be able to afford a child. If you can take care of yourselves and not depend on anyone, who's to say you not doing the right thing.

Answer 6

I think you should hold off until your life stabalizes a bit. Without a solid finicial income and a long term stable housing situation, you have no business producing offspring. Besides that, you say you are a "druggie." Doesn't sound like a good time to have a kid.

You have a whole life in front of you. Trust me, you will want to wait.

Answer 7

I think you should wait. You're not crazy to want one, but you should take a few years to get settled and everything. After like a week of having one, you'll realize that its just you and your boyfriend. When you were growing up, you helped take care of the baby, but your parents were responsible for it. If you get one now, his family will help, but you're gonna be ultimately responsible. You can still be around babies.

Answer 8

Wanting a baby is nice, but you'll need to be emotionally and financially secure (and married) to be able to provide the best for the baby. Since you're still a teenager, you have 10- or even 20 years to have children. I suggest waiting until you're 23-25, married and have an education.

Answer 9

You don't even have a place of your own... do you want to be in somebody else's pocket the rest of your life? Have a baby later- when you're married, have your own place and have established your life- at least be able to support yourself before you attempt to support a baby.

Answer 10

Please I understand that you would like a child but Try to fishes school first.That's the most impotent part in you life wright know.Maybe after you go throw high school then you can try and see if you still like to have a baby.Try and remember school first than family after.Good luck I hope everything turns out for you and your family.