Me and my girlfriend have been together for a while now. We're getting serious, and it's obvious that the love connection between us are strong. However shes 2 1/2 years older than me. She'll be graduating from college this summer...as for me I'm still in a community college compensating for my previous endeavors, and it'll be about another 3 years before I get my BS. Although I love her with all my heart, I think I'll be a burden for her. I can't let her go but I don't want her to waste her life, giving up certain opportunities for me....because there are no guarantees that we'd be...(eternal). She even admitted that before she met me she knew exactly what she was going to do with her life, whereas now she's a little confused because she wants to include me in it....
I truly love her and I want the best for her...and I'm afraid I cant give that to her.......(Not to mention wonder how her parents would take it the fact that I'm younger - We're asian and thats rather tabooed"
2007-02-26 13:02:09 · 4 answers · asked by ALoNe & DiStRaUghT 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Shes an international student, and her Visa is only valid for another year. She majored in Business Management so she would need to find a large corporation which will endorse her work status to extend her Visa as well. I just feel like I'll be a burden because it'll be a few years before I'll be where she is. I pictured having a family with her, but I'm unsure I can can deliver due to my previous scholastic mistakes. (Slacking off last year of HS, going to a community college, than slacking off my freshman year....and I'm only starting to buckle down now.)
2007-02-26 13:15:27 · update #1
Shes acutally in Leeds, UK right now studying her last semester. She already passed up a job offer in Ireland cause she don't want to be in Europe and far away from me. She's planning on going back to the states to find a job here despite our dwindling economy...
2007-02-26 13:25:37 · update #2
Are you working and studying at the same time? If you have the freedom to study without having to work, just study hard, keep going, don't take summers off, etc. and finish up as fast as you can. You say there are no guarantees that you would be 'eternal' but you can promise her (and follow through on your promise) that you will support her in her goals ALL the way. That means, put her career goals ahead of your own since 1) she's already got a head start scholastically and 2) that will count to her family, too. In the meantime, wherever you go - together - always continue to work on your own ambitions.
2 1/2 years older is really not that much.
Just don't indulge in 'slacking off' again. Ever. She sounds ambitious and accomplished. Unless you are going to keep up with her somewhat (just trying hard is keeping up because it always pays off somehow), she is going to be in social situations that leave you far behind. You don't have to share all the same circles but you can't constantly feel uncomfortable with her success and all that comes with it socially.
2007-03-03 13:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
21/2 years is a totally meaningless age difference in the long run. In the short run, don't allow her to give up any opportunities to be with you. I assume you mean that she is considering not going abroad or some distance to work/study etc. so that she can stay close to you. Insist that she not do that. If you are truly passionately in love have the courage to live your life freely and independently while you are laying the foundation of your lives. You are both young and should focus on yourselves as independent entities first. I know I sound a little too sure of myself, but I am certain of this. Just relax and allow yourself time to be uncertain of what you want. Uncertainty is actually a good and healthy thing when you are young. If you end up parting for a while, it would probably result in you both being more mature and giving partners were you to reunite later on anyway. Good luck!
2007-02-26 13:20:05 · answer #2 · answered by karin p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems that you should really have a serious talk about what you guys are going to do because if you love her you don't want to hold her back but then again if she loves you too she may stick around awhile if she doesn't that obviously doesn't mean that she doesn't love you or anything. It is a hard situation if you are both in love with each other. If she doesn't need to move away to pursue her career then I don't see a reason for you to not be together. If she has to move away then maybe a long distance relationship could work if you are both committed.
2007-02-26 13:09:05 · answer #3 · answered by kws504 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that u care but why would u consider yourself a burden. U need some confidence.
2007-02-26 13:08:16 · answer #4 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋