Married for 24 years with 4 kids. We have faught thru out our whole marriage. We have seperated once in 1990. We always seem to go back but I am finally tired and I think there should be a change. How do I know when this is it for sure? As long as we don't have sex I feel this time it's it but somehow he always seems to get me to give in. Maybe I confuse "GREAT" sex with love? If I leave I want to be 100% sure and not look back but how do I know? I do not like him very much as a person anymore and when I look at him I don't even like what I see, I used to be able to stare at him for hours and I loved just to see him. He was my first real love and we have such history but I feel the need for more. I feel the need to be respected and appreciated. I want that lust and love we used to have. I don't know how to get it back with him or if I really want it from him? How do I know when it's really over? The kids aren't an issue and we don't have to stay married for them. Is it over?
2007-02-26 12:40:42 · 8 answers · asked by Rocky C 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it seems that you have your heart set already. I feel your pain. My situation is similar to yours. I have been with my husband for ten years. I am so tired of the fighting and arguing and the self induced poverty that I asked him for a seperation just so I can move on with my life because I realized that there was to much animosity between us for things to continue any longer. So, if you think that want to get that ol' thing back between you and your spouse then you are not over the situation. You'll will know when it is over when you lack the desire to fix it. Good Luck.
2007-02-26 14:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by VON 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear Lord, Age obviously doesnt make a difference with women does it, I mean not mentally anyway? You gals never wise up or seem to get it? Perpetual fairytale land for ye all.
Lady, its called life. A car with a million miles on it isnt as shiny and it wont pass as well as it did when it was new. Get it? How to bring it back? Well, for one thing, realize that you didnt just meet one another and also realize that what you have now is what real love is. Getting the soaks or hots is what happens to get us together. After that, you build real love. And that isnt tingly. Its comfortable.
You bring up the kids not being an issue now. I see that you are already finding excuses and justifications to be able to leave without having to see that you are wrong in doing so. Keep on convincing yourself and you will prove you are just like most others today, you just took a bit longer to get there. You somehow think you deserve the world. You probably listened to half the nuts on radio or tv and now seem to think you are missing something or he is a lump of crap, right? Great payback for him having been a good and faithful husband, but then again, like I said, you are becoming the average women, you just are a bit slower, thats all.
The only way a person gets respect or trust or anything else worth much is by earning it. Otherwise its worth spit. And in my opinion, a person who is acting this way, isnt earning much respect.
2007-02-26 21:15:17 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound very confused. The last thing you want to do is make a mistake. I suggest first finding out how he feels about you. Maybe he feels the same exact way. If not, I think you should tell him...be honest about how you feel about the relationship. If it is important enough for him to be with you he will try to put that spark back into the relationship. 24 years is a long time...especially raising 4 kids. It is not something to throw away lightly. Counseling would be another option. But, ask yourself if tomorrow he was not around anymore...forever and you could never see him again, speak to him again, kiss and hug him again...how would you feel. If your answer is sad...then you need to give it another try.
2007-02-26 20:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by natashainka 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
boredom is no reason for divorce but maybe you guys could use a break where you both do your own things and break routine. Date again with each other, learn how you feel about each other because love isn't enough to sustain a marriage you also have to be friends and "like" each other. I just through 4 years away because of boredom and I regret it every day, I imagine 24 years would be harder.
2007-02-26 21:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by liberty5499 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi! 24 years is a long time, kids are always an issue too, the best thing to do is to pray and ask God to give you that desire to love your husband more and more, like you had before, please dont give up, talk openly with him.....Jesus loves you
2007-02-26 21:09:18 · answer #5 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it sounds as though it really is. I know where you are in your marriage....been there and done that. Know when to say when! Pull the curtain....it's OVER!
2007-02-26 20:45:13 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him before u decide on anything tell him how u feel
2007-02-26 21:23:47 · answer #7 · answered by Rox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to me it souns like u stay together just for the sex. honey, its over!
2007-02-26 20:44:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋