been married 4 10yrs have 2 girls we starting having problems he wanted sometime off, eventually found out he was cheating it really hurts me. i love him so much that i still let him use me, why? how can i move on, how can i stop the urge of needing 2 talk 2 him, all he does is treat me bad & call me names & im still there whenever he says jump. I dont know how 2 say no 2 him, i love him but i cant take this anymore yet i practically begg him 2 want 2 work things out, i met a couple of male guys, i tried making friends but the interests wasnt there in both ways. I just want people 2 talk 2, i am not looking for someone else just meet new people. I have also made new girls friends, but he saw my cell phone bill and now blames me for having somethingto do with these 2 guys who i dont even talk 2 no more. what do i do? is it wrong of me meeting new people, is he right? how do i just move forward no matter how much it hurts? he doesnt even help me $$ wise. we are on our own!!!
2007-02-26 12:35:32 · 12 answers · asked by HelpmeFast 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ohhh lady you need to stop talking to him if you make some new friends it's none of his business he left you for someone else tell him he lost the right to tell you what to do when he got with someone else it's your life live it how you see fit
2007-02-26 12:47:37 · answer #1 · answered by teadropsue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are not alone. There are tons of women who end up in this situation, there is nothing wrong with you! Find some support, whether its family, new friends, or counseling. Anyone in your situation would feel overwhelmed and crushed. Is there a women's center where you live, or a community center? If you are religious, churches are a great place to find support. Above all, every time you tell yourself something negative about yourself, STOP, and tell yourself something positive. Turning your self esteem around is hard work, but you can do it! It just takes many, many, small steps, and a few big ones. Find the help you need and deserve, and a year from now everything will look different to you.
2007-02-26 13:07:13 · answer #2 · answered by Lappet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to assume that you feel worthless without your husband and let me give you some advise. What you are feeling for him is likely stemming from the fear of being alone with 2 girls to raise on your own. You likely don't understand your ability and rely on his opinion if you done things well or not. I am sure that you probably do love him, but I would also hazard to guess that you've turned his infidelity into something that "you" did wrong. I think you need to put your mind completely into your girls and focus on how the pros and cons are and will affect them. You are probably the only positive support system they have in their growing years and you need to be there 100%. I have 2 girls and left a 13 year relationship with their dad when they were 5 and 6. They are 20 and 21 now and well adjusted, happy, successful young ladies who have great self confidence and are happy in life. You need to find your happiness, let him go, he's not it.
2007-02-26 12:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, not to sound preachy, but I think what would help you the most of anything, is to find a good, solid, church and start going. Take your girls, get them involved, and find a friend that you can talk to. You are NOT WORTHLESS and you need to affirm this so that you don't pass these feelings on to them. My sister was in the same place you are. She had been with her husband for over 8 years, and dealt with both physical and mental abuse all that time. It took her a long time to get out of the relationship cause he told her she was worthless and no one else would ever want her, and that she didn't have what it took to make it without him, ect. You get the drift. When she finally did get the courage and strength to leave,she found that she had lots of value and the ability to make it on her own for her and her three kids. She now works in a state job helping counsel other women who have been in the same situation. You are worth more, and you need to realize that. If he has cheated once he will do it again. You need to get out and make a new life for yourself and your kids. You can do it!
2007-02-26 12:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he care who you talk talk he has know room to talk he cheated on you. You need to grow a backbone and stand up to him and not allow him to use you. He has you right where he wants you and until you do something about it hes never going to change. And you are worth something you are a wife and mother of 2 girls who look up to you and want you to be happy. Its not you who stepped out of the marriage to see if the grass is greener whatever problems the two of you were having he chose to step out of the marriage instead of being a real man and trying to keep his marriage going strong. You need to divorce him and find yourself a better man you are deserving of it dont put up w/ this anymore. Divorce I am sure is painful but if you must free yourself then do it find happiness and good luck to you.
2007-02-26 13:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by hotmoma1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop feeling sorry for yourself,there's nothing wrong with you and there never was.Go out and find a life and enjoy it for all it's worth.It's high time you come to term's with yourself.Give yourself time to heal from the past then move on.But take your time,you have the rest of your life to find a life that suits you.
2007-02-26 12:45:29 · answer #6 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very sorry to hear...but you deserve somone better.there is someone out there who would love you uncondtionaly for who you are and not insult you...treat you well...I'm sure it is scary thinking about leaving since you have been together so long but you deserve better.
2007-02-26 12:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by kkazman32 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL WHAT CAN I SAY IF HE DOESNT LISTEN TO YOU AND DOESNT WANT TO HELP YOU WITH MONEY AND IF HE DOESNT WANT TO TALK TO YOU AND MAKE YOU HAPPY THEN IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME HE NEEDS A WAKE UP CALL SO TELL HIM THIS OK EITHER YOU CHANGE YOUR WAYS AND START MAKEN ME HAPPY AND START HELPPING ME OUT WITH SOME MONEY OR IM GONNA LEAVE YOU HIGH AND DRY AND SEE WHAT HE SAYS TO THAT AND IF HE WONT CHANGE AT ALL THEN LEAVE HIM FOR 2 TO 3 DAYS OR MORE AND WATCH HIM COME CRAWLING BACK TO YOU SO I HOPE THIS HELPS CAUSE AFTER ALL THERES MORE TO LIFE THEN JUST SEX AND MONEY THERES TRUST AND FAITH AND LOYALTY AND RESPECT SO I HOPE THIS HELP TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS..............
2007-02-26 12:53:07 · answer #8 · answered by Popeye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know why men aren't satisfied with thier wife they have to cheat they don't care about who get's hurt and it's worse if you got kids my husband cheated we're seprated he abused me when drinking too husbands can be butt holes the best thing you could do is take your daughters and go to a domestic violence shelter because verbal abuse is bad too it'll lead to physcal abuse its not easy but you need to leave
2007-03-02 11:12:34 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I am so sorry, I know what you are going through, my wife had an affair and left me with 4 kids.....I gave my heart to Jesus, it filled up my heart with joy, this is what you need....Jesus loves you
2007-02-26 13:18:51 · answer #10 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋