I lent my friend $60 in December and when I recently asked her for it, she told me she paid it back to me but can't remember when. I am 95% sure she hasn't paid it back!
The thing is, I trust her and she's not the kind of person to lie.
If it was $10 I wouldn't mind but it's a large amount and I feel really angry.
What are some non confrotational ways to find out if she's lying?!
Has anyone else ever had a similar situation?
2007-02-26 12:28:51 · 14 answers · asked by Alexis 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I said to her I can't remember if you paid or not and she said "Yeh I did but I can't remember when".
She doesn't have a lot of money. I think I've answered it for myself.... She obviously didn't pay. Now I don't know whether the friendship is worth it. I REALLY didn't think she'd ever do anything like this.
2007-02-26 12:39:17 · update #1
It's not the money, it's the trust!
I would have given it to her if she needed but she promised to pay it back and she LIED. And then LIED again about paying it back.
I have learnt now. I will never lend money again. It's not worth it.
2007-02-26 12:53:11 · update #2
Just tell her that it's a lot of money and ask her to refresh your memory. If she really did her story will ring true. Apologize immediately if you recall that she did. Don't just say, "OH! Yeah!" and laugh it off. She'll naturally be offended.
On the other hand, if she didn't then you know now how much the friendship is worth to her.
2007-02-26 12:37:42 · answer #1 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can not think of any way that you can ask her again and remain ''non-confrontational''. However, I have loaned much larger sums to friends in the past and is is always done with the idea (on my part) that is is not a loan but a gift, that way I never expect it back and IF it is repayed then I am that much richer. And I do not risk a good friendship that way. Maybe you should just consider it as a gift you once gave a friend and sooner or later, it will come back to you when it is really needed, your friend will not be offended and you won't loose your friendship this way. Good Luck!
2007-02-26 12:41:30 · answer #2 · answered by darkehawk_1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She knows perfectly well if she paid you or not and so do you. Confront her and ask for your money back. Tell her she did not pay you back and that you need the money. Ask her about it everytime you see or speak to her.
I don't think you are gonna get the money back and if you want to keep the friendship(Why?) then you are gonna have to forget about the money..... and let that be a lesson to you, never lend anything you are gonna need to have back.
2007-02-26 12:34:45 · answer #3 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I loan my colleague $100 and he promised to pay after end month salary. Its been 6 months he is delaying with all type of excuses 4 not paying up. So I really learn my lesson well for not giving out loan anymore to anybody! No point angry & treat this as life experience.
2007-02-26 12:55:57 · answer #4 · answered by Alberto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
$60 was how much it cost you to really know your friend. Don´t ask it back, just keep it in mind for when she comes back asking for a $1000 or for when she wants to make business with you. Really honest people actually feel bad when they don´t return the money they asked for, and it does not seem like it.
2007-02-26 12:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by L V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask her to give you the money bak and if she says that she doesnt have enough just tell her that maybe she can pay it over time and you an tell her how it makes u feel if she puts it off forever
just a thought
2007-02-26 12:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by Haley G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her once exactly when she paid you back. let her know that you don't remember and want her to jog your memory. if you don't remember after that, consider it a costly lesson. Never lend anyone money; that's what banks are for. Next time, tell whoever you got burned once and won't ever lend another dime.
2007-02-26 12:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by rainyday 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are desperate for the $60, it isn't worth the friendship I think. If you suspect she is lying though she isn't a real friend anyway.
2007-02-26 12:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have and to tell you the truth there is no way that you can confront that to make it sound non-confrontational...she's going to feel threatend the moment you ask her for the money...and since you asked her once before she is going to feel like you are calling her a lier...
2007-02-26 13:05:43 · answer #9 · answered by Gordita de Oro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE BEST THING TO DO ABOUT THAT IS DONT LOAN MONEY OUT I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY TOO THAT EVERY TIME I LOAN MONEY OUT THEY ALWAYS MAKE UP A EXCUSE AS TO WHY THEY CANT PAY ME BACK OR THEY RUN FROM ME ARE HIDE FROM ME AND IF YOU CANT GET YOU MONEY BACK FROM THE FRIEND THE BEST THING TO DO IS WRITE IT OFF AND COUNT YOUR LOSES AND DROP THE FRIEND CAUSE FRIENDS DONT BURN FRIENDS. IF THEY ARE A TRUE FRIEND THEY WILL PAY YOU BACK AND WATCH OUT FOR FAMILY MEMBERS TOO I LOANED MONEY TO MY SISTER TOO AND NOW SHE DOESNT WANT TO PAY ME BACK EITHER AND MY OTHER SISTER IS THE SAME WAY AND NOW I DONT HAVE NOUGHTHING TO DO WITH THEM CAUSE IF THEY CANT PAY ME BACK THEN WHY TALK TO THEM AT ALL AFTER ALL ITS MY MONEY SO TELL YOUR FRIEND TO PAY YOU BACK AND IF HE OR SHE DOESNT THEN LOOK FOR A BETTER FRIEND THAT DOESNT ASK FOR MONEY I HOPE THIS HELP THANKS..............
2007-02-26 12:38:00 · answer #10 · answered by Popeye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋