Tired of being the "nice guy" What to do?

Question

I have been the nice guy for the last 2-3 years moreso, though everyone liked me in middle/beginning of highschool. Mostly cause I would try and get into fights and give alot of people the could shoulder, even "friends". Last 3 years is when I learned to open up to people and be the nice guy. Except
1. it doesnt show enough backbone for anyone to be impressed by me.
2. only girls that like me either have crush on me, submissive, or innocent nerdy girls.

All the girls I want now seem to be into either cool guys, jerks, and such. Not the sweet guy that likes to be nice to them and whatnot. One girl I know, would tell me anything or whatnot, even stuff she didnt tell her current boyfriend. She would give me hugs, invite me to parties, friends with me, whatever. But when I asked her out it's like 'no I'm the friend"

Frick that! I'm tired of everyone giving me the "nice guy finishes last" attitude. What should I do to change?

just to say to some of the confusion, the friend that I chased after that put me into the 'friend only' catagory, I did admit it and all that. She wasnt going out with anyone at the time and we were both free to do whatever the frick we wanted. But no, I am labeled as a friend and not even given the chance to wine and dine her or anything above friends or going to christmas parties with old higschool friends and such.

Now I know I wont be able to convince her maybe (or not till later after she gets ****** alot. By which time I'll still love her but
A) not be too trusting of her
B) in another relationship
C) think of how she slutted around while not even giving me a chance before so why the *** should I give her the chance now (then future tense).

I just want to know how to deal with other girls similar to this.

Answer 1

So who are you? Nice guy or a cool guy (jerk)? I say, figure out who you are and be yourself. I know, easier said than done. You might score a little fewer points now while you are thinking it over but you will save yourself a lot of disapointment later. If you pretend to be who you are not you will end up with girls that you don't even like.

The trouble for nice guys: girls think that they will stick around forever being their friend and such. If you are interested in dating a girl - state your interests a little more clearly. We can't read your minds.

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You are right, chances are, when she's through with that guy you might be not as interested anymore. But think: do you want to be in place of that other guy and treat her only half-good, because this is what she seems to like? Probably something you couldn't do. Just say, "it wasn't ment to be" and move on. If she put you in the category of "just friends" then put her in the same category as well. You might see the magic effect (but that means she's easily manipulated and you are not the only one who can pull this trick). I think for the future - the trick to master is to be in check with reality and keep the relationship balanced. I'm still working on it myself and don't know if it is possible. But if one person is much more into it then he/she is likely to end up very disapointed. Happened to me one too many times. Take people for what they really are and how they treat you. You don't have to be nice to everyone, only to those who respond to it well.

Answer 2

Lesson #1 - you're a guy. Write less. Men aren't that expressive.

Lesson #2 - stand up for yourself. If you don't want to be her friend, tell her and move on.

Lesson #3 - if she is your friend, tell her how hot her friend is and MAKE her hook you up.

Answer 3

girls all crush on teh bad guy... but that is NOT who they bring home to marry.

Honey... even nice guys need to be assertive.... If you like someone.. .tell them... stand up for yourself an dfor your friends....
but DO NOT go startign stuff...
then you are just a jerk