My ex and I are separated since 2005.
Since I met a man in January, the father of my 2 sons has decided that he will only take the oldest son when it's his time for visitation, leaving the 3 years old with me.
He (father) said he wants to talk to me before he takes him again, claiming his child breaks his heart (?). I know it's a game he is playing to try to control me again, as he was doing for the past 5 years.
Any ideas what I should do?
Should I keep the 2 child together or should I let him do that?
2007-02-26 11:37:29 · 23 answers · asked by Shaana 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
on the contrary, do not fall for his games...he is 100% playing games...if he wants to take one kid out...great...do not have any objection, that day, take the little one and go have fun, anything...but have a great time...so when the older one comes home the little one will tell him eveyrthing..and it will go back to Dad and he will know he missed out, you and the kid had a good time...
Whatever he starts...finish, but with your own style and grace...so the bottom line, you and the 2 kids are happy...he will stop the crap...even if you will take the little one on a date...i know it sounds funny, but it works...don't take much to make a kid happy...
2007-03-04 05:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by Ariana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When this happens have you ever looked at your 3yr old sons eyes? If you have then you know darn well what kind of pain and hurt he is going through because of his fathers actions. I would put my foot down and not allow him to take one child with out the other. Went through the same crap with me ex. Could not stand to see my baby hurt like that. The first couple weeks he did not come at all which was fine with me I love spending time with my girls however after 2 weeks he came and got them both has ever since. Good Luck to you and your children.
2007-03-06 05:59:40 · answer #2 · answered by Tonya B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, why would you allow your youngest to be treated that way. Do you have any idea of the damage you are causing this child ? Not only is his father abandon him and showing favoritism toward his brother you are doing nothing about this in the eyes of this child. If he can't take them both then tell him not to bother. I would then have him explain to the judge how a 3yr old is breaking his heart.
2007-03-05 04:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does not want to see both of his children, then I diffinity would tell him that he can not see the oldest one either. It is either both or none. It is not fair to the youngest one to be left behind and I am sure he knows what is going on. Has the father said anything or explained why he will not take the 3 year old, but will take the other one.
2007-03-05 03:44:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let him do that. What's his excuse to blow off his own child? He doesn't' have a heart to break. Just tell him flat out, that he either takes both children or neither. If he threatens to take you to court for violation of his visitation rights, tell them what he does, and how it affects the 3 year old. I would try to record him saying this with either audio or visual w/sound. He could always say you lied about him doing this. Think Nanny cams. Good luck.
2007-03-04 10:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I wouldn't say keep them both away from thier dad as a good choice, but on the other hand it will definantly drive a wedge between the two kids- so I don't know. I agree with you he is trying to control you, but I would definantly talk to him about him taking only one kid and perhaps play the guilt game. Tell him that it will permenantly affect the sibling if he keeps it up and that the children need their father(both of them do). See if that works. Good luck! keep us posted.
2007-03-06 11:06:57 · answer #6 · answered by ~Beauty is Beautiful~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not let him pick and choose which child he takes for his visitation. If he doesn't want to take both of them then he takes no one. It is his child he just has to learn to deal with it. Talking to him may only lead you down a path you are already so familiar with. So leave it alone and move forward...either through court or on your own. He signed the papers stating visitation for both children not just one...so he needs to grow up or miss out on them both. YOU CONTROL YOUR DESTINY NOT THE EX...
2007-03-05 09:06:15 · answer #7 · answered by DePressed08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the father about it. Keep the lines of communication open for the children's sake. I know ex partners sometimes play games. My ex wife did that to me. Kept promising to pick up our daughter but didn't do it. Nine years later she expected to get respect from our daughter but didn't receive any. I didn't instill that in my daughter that was her choice on how to handle her mother. ALL I EVER WANTED WAS FOR THE TWO OF THEM TO DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP AS A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER SHOULD. Hopefully you can work this out with the father. Good Luck
2007-03-02 17:41:34 · answer #8 · answered by andyt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-02 01:16:51 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him separate the kids. It's really harmful to your 3 year old. Talk to Friend of the Court and see what your options are in this situation.
2007-02-26 11:45:09 · answer #10 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋