I have to do a group project at school, how do I compensate for an overbearing student leader?

Question

I'm in a group of five students, the "leader" three guys and myself. Ironically we needed to do a group project on being an effective person and LISTENING. During one of our meetings, I was told out right that they don't listen to me. Initally I thought it was because they were only listening to each other, but I realize now it's because we have one perosn that tries to dominate the converstions and continues to interupt any new ideas expressed. So we go round and round in circles because he's so focused on himself. I see now the others just smile, and nod ,and really just tune him out instead of confronting him.

Am I better off doing the same?

Am I wrong for voicing my opinions and tring to get him to listen to me? When I stand up for myself it becomes and argument with him and truly he doesn't even know what he's arguing about.

I don't think he's an effective leader and his dominating behavior makes the whole process take far longer than it should.

Answer 1

Try to rally the other people in the group together, and confront the rude person without being mean or insulting. Say you appreciate their effort and commitment, but you think it would be best if you all were able to contribute equally.

Answer 2

stand up to this person, but it doesn't have to mean doing the same. if the person is taking over the conversations and doesn't have anything extremely insightful to say, it may benefit the entire group to hear different opinions.

maybe if you say something, other people will voice their opinions, too. state your opinions strongly and clearly. if you feel this would suit your personality, end with a question to try to open up the group for conversation, like what they think of what you said. another personality depending thing could be, when saying something in the group, to look at each person in the group as you are speaking (and, maybe even, use hand gestures, like the italians).

as long as the person is unquestioned, unless s/he realizes what they are doing and feels poorly about it, they will have control over the group discussion and it sounds really boring!

a quote from an handout from my ethics class, that i put a big heart around: saying something repeatedly isn't an argument. giving reasons why a thing/ idea is so is an argument, the best kind: an argument founded on evidence.

Answer 3

I would actually suggest that you approach the teacher and change the group you are in if at all possible.

If you cannot do that, a good strategy would be to create a group rule where you would give ample time for everyone to speak their mind and contribute.

You may have seen this in another classroom or activity where a koosh ball or tennis ball is passed around and the only person who is allowed to talk has the ball at a given time. Also, that person is required to talk (this would make up for the fact that others in your group may have chose it because they don't have to do any thinking).

The first thing you should do is step up to the plate and create some ground rules so that everyone's voice is heard. You can then go from there and vote on any decisions that are made.

Answer 4

I have had similar experiences before. This has worked a few times.
Instead of mincing words with him you might try making him aware of his behavior in just a sentence or two. If delivered correctly it will make him aware of where he stands with you. He may not change, but getting into a lengthy debate or argument seems ot motivate his desire to dominate by making long justifications of his superiority. Deny this to him by stating your comment in as few words as possible. Then get on with the project with those who are willing to work together. If the group tunes him out, he will get the idea.
Good luck.

Answer 5

Though not admissible in court, tape the next meeting.
You can analyze it and outline all the arguments.
It may well be a useful tool for you and can help you to figure out a more successful approach. After this project is over, possibly let the pompous @ss hear himself.
Mutiny might be an option, but you'd have to get the three musketeers on board.

Answer 6

I've done about a million group projects. Generally, whoever wants to take charge, let them do most of the work.

It is a waste of time and energy to argue with a butt head.

I would show up, say nothing (or maybe 5 words when it comes time to divide the work), then go off and do my own contribution.

Answer 7

You need to speak up to him since the others won't. They're gonna lose out in the end by putting up with his behavior. When you speak to him, stay right on focus, talk calmly even if he yells. Keep bringing him back to the subject if he starts bringing other things in. Just keep it on that peaceful note. He'll look like an as* and you'll be the mature one, plus you'll get your point across. Maybe after you "break the ice," the others will be more willing to speak up. Good luck, I know you can do it!

Answer 8

Take charge! If the others in the group seem to be tuning him out too, then they'll rally behind you if you take over...or at least let him know that he's being domineering and annoying. I'd feel out the others outside of the group setting to see if they'll back you first, though....just my opinion, but that's what I do.

Answer 9

No no drive a wedge between them by insinuating you like the other guys idea's better .

Get them to war with each other and flip the study .

Make it of them - the opposite of listening and being effective and what can be learned from them -

You will win and learn quite a bit - so will they

Answer 10

Hit them repeatedly with a blunt object.... or you will need to confront them about it. Tell them that they are being overbearing, and if they ignore you (as usual) you need to talk to the teacher about it. If you are in highschool, then it doesn't matter anyway. How long is the project going to take? Less than a week? Just deal with it if it doesn't affect your grade. I agree with taking advantage of them. It works for you if you let it. High school's number 1 rule is go with the flow.