Last night was my wife's birthday and I made a real romantic night for her, dinner, hot bath and massage. Anyway as she was out of the bedroom I noticed her phone flashing from the corner of my eye (which was in her clothes cupboard - which I thought was strange). It was a text message from one of her male work collegues asking her how her birthday sex was followed by rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!. Later that night I couldnt sleep so I went in the lounge room. I also wanted to get her phone to get this guys number. As I did this, her mobile was wrapped in her track suit pants and hidden in her cupboard. I approached her about this but she said nothing is going on between them. I am really confused am I overreacting here? I should also note that looking back it appears she has hidden her phone for quit some time from me and she wont let me look into her bank account details as she has failed to pay some our bills.....
2007-02-26 10:36:22 · 30 answers · asked by jtgot1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In all honesty her friend could've been refering to the birthday sex YOU and your wife would've had. If you're still in doubt, you have to talk to your wife. If she's telling the truth you'll know right away. If she's lying she could get all mixed up with her stories and give herself away. I hope things work out for you. Good luck
2007-02-26 10:42:08 · answer #1 · answered by sugar & spice 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow.....I am sorry to tell you this, you probably may already know this but are in denial, I think you're right though. She is acting way too suspecious about everything and if there's "nothing really going on" than why hide things from you? If my partner was doing this to me, and there were the same evidence that you have described and if after I had confronted my partner about it they still would have refuse to allow me into this information, I would have automatically assume that something is going on. I don't think that you're over-reacting, I see it as you're trying to protect someone you love, but apperently that someone is already getting that else where. I would try to talk to her one more time, this time in a more serious matter, hopefully she will admit that she has been a little weird and that nothing is really going on. If she does happen to confess that there is in fac t something going on, take it easy, breathe, and dont go after that guy (it's the worse thing and situation that you want to be involved in) ask her for a divorse. Sorry to have read about this problem, I wish you luck and keep your head up high!
2007-02-26 18:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by Secret2Know 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A married woman should not be having secret messages for another male, particularly when he is asking about her sex life with you. There is something wrong here and you need to tell her how you feel. Even is she is not having an affair she is having an inappropriate relationship with someone and is keeping secrets from the one with whom she should share everything. You need to get this out in the open and make sure she knows that this is serious and you cannot live with her behaviour. Tell her that you suspect she is having an affair and it must stop or you want out of the marriage. It is confronting but this situation needs a cool and immediate response.
2007-02-26 18:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when this happens we often go back in our minds and are able to pull things out that happened. yes if she hides her cell there is a problem, as people who have nothing to hide will hide nothing. she should have no secrets from u. maybe u need to go to the bank or access it through the Internet if possible. see what she has been doing because if u can't trust her than u have no marriage. i would get the mans number and call him and ask him, but chances are u may not get the truth. whenever we really don't know something, we can count on our intuition as it never lies to us. yes she is cheating no matter what she is telling u. she just isn't ready to leave and dump u yet.
2007-02-26 18:52:41 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well. I would just say, ask her. Directly, gently. Tell her what happened, you saw the flashing, it bugged you...all that. I don't think you are overreacting at all. Just talk to her. If you find she is having an affair, it needs to be brought out so that you guys can either heal, find out what the real problems are, or discuss other options. Having an affair isn't necessarily the end of all...it really depends on what else is going on. You aren't crazy. Or overreacting.
2007-02-26 18:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by ~*Allypooh*~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go to her work and beat the snaught out of the mystery man.......haha just kidding......it could be that its just her friend, and she doesnt want to let you know she talks to him cause well, hes a guy and she doesn't know how you'll react over it, the message sounds like he was talking about the sex between you and your wife, and about the bank account, maybe her phone bills have been ridiculously high and she paid them through the account and doesn't want you to see that she paid 400 dollars for an off the wall phone bill, probably from talking to him.....but the best thing to do is try to talk to her again about it...just don't invade her privacy and look at her phone and stuff with out her knowing......just ask her to borrow it randomly one day and take a peek then, but if she gets all defensive about it and wont let you, then you know she is probably hiding something....but good luck, i hope things work out with the two of yous.
2007-02-26 18:56:45 · answer #6 · answered by Wings Fan! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes she is. Why else would she be hiding her phone. I cheated on my wife and did the exact same thing. Get as much information as you can about this guy, follow your wife, see what she is doing during lunch and after work if she is working with this guy...or hire a Private Investigator.
She is hiding her money because she is a) spending money on him, b) spending money on motels, c) spending money on clothes/negligee for him. Go to the bank, tell them you want a copy of the bank statements, tell them some sob story how they accidently got shredded, and you need them for tax purposes.
If you are brave, call the guy, ask him what is going on. Doubt he will come out and say it, but it might scare him off. If he is married, get his home phone and call his wife, ask her why he is calling and texting your wife.
2007-02-26 18:45:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she's flirting with disaster. Do you really want to know the truth? If you have such a feeling of mistrust, either something is going on or about to. Is marriage counseling an option? Remember in marriage there are no good secrets (unless it's a gift with diamonds).
2007-02-26 18:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by ireallydoknowitall 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She might be or might not be. But you shouldn't be asking other people this question because if they tell you that she is you are going to start thinking more on the line that she is and loose your trust for her, so just in case she isn't, investigate the situation and see if shes cheating no need to jump to conclusions when you dont even really know whats going on . But to ease your mind you should try to find out if she is.
2007-02-26 18:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by thatcutesexygyrl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to her sit down with her and two glasses of her favorite wine. ask her what you need to do to be a better loving husband because it's more important to you to make her the happiest woman in the world than losing her because she thought you didn't care. Listen to her and if she says the T V is the reason loose it light candles and play games with her scrabble or dominoes or cards. massage her feet while its her turn and look inot her eyes and say you love her fifty times a day and it still wont be enough. Buy her something you have never bought one of before and have it personalized. Ask her to close her eyes while you remove her robes and pleasure her with your lips and tongue.
2007-02-26 18:53:32 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur Richards of Kent 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋