we have 2 kids. last week when we were fighting our oldest tryed to get us in the same room. shes 2 years old
what should we do
2007-02-26 10:32:35 · 10 answers · asked by lisaanndubay 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best gift you can give to your children is stopping the fighting. Children feel it is their fault when mommy and daddy fight. You have to realize the emotional damage you are doing to your children.
I am going to be very blunt here: when two people fight and can't come to an agreement somebody is not telling the truth or hiding some secret. Someone has done something wrong in the relationship and fears the other will find out. It is the one doing the blaming that is the most likely culprit. When someone is being unreasonable I look for the lies.
The other reason could be a third party is influencing one of you and the other doesn't know it. Get rid of any outside influence in your relationship if you discover this person exists. This person can even be a friend of one spouse and trash talking person they married to. Of course the spouse it not told what the friend is saying but it has a negative influence.
Do you love this man? I have a very hard task to suggest but it takes courage and understanding. I do this when things are not going well in my relationship.
I sit down with my partner and I tell them: for 10 minutes we will speak absolute truth and it won't be held against either one of us. I don't care with anyone has to say but you know for 10 minutes of you life you can say anything I will not held it against you. You have to be very integrity filled here. You can't go against the agreement when you give your promise.
Why this works is very simple. It gives the person the opportunity to re-enter the relationship with a clean slate. If a person is feeling guilty about some transgression they can get it off their chest. When a person is riddle with quilt they sometime make the person they did wrong the blame for their actions. This why a mate that has an affair find fault with their spouse. They have to make you wrong to make them feel better for their transgression. This is a gift you give to the person you love. This is a miracle cure that has worked every time I have used this solution. Giving the person you love the opportunity to regain their respect and reenter in the relationship with dignity is also a gift to yourself and your children. If you truly loved a person this is the right action to take.
2007-02-26 11:24:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up, your 2 year old is more mature than you are. It takes two to fight. I bet if you look at your fights they really have nothing to do with you two, just the stress of raising young children, the economy and lack of time to get everything done. Stop and take a deep breath. Together you can work these issues out. Now is the time to give the kids to grandma and spend the weekend with just the two of you. Good Luck. Never fight in front of your kids again (how do you think that makes them feel, they don't understand what is going on)
2007-02-26 10:51:14 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need to sit down and talk to each other about why and what you are fighting about. If you need help in your relationship, by all means go see a marriage therapist. Most marriages fail because of a lack of open and honest communications.
2007-02-26 10:37:54 · answer #3 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u and ur husband need to talk about something...Do it in a room or somewhere that the children are not at. They may see what you do and when they get older do the same. Good Luck!
~Donna~
2007-02-26 10:39:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children learn all the need to know about relationships, by the time they are 3. They learn all the dynamics they observe. Your child is learning your(& his) bad behavior(s). STOP FIGHTING IN FRONT OF THE CHILD.
or else they'll be reading this book when they grow up to be adults:
http://www.amazon.ca/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407/sr=1-1/qid=1172533091/ref=sr_1_1/702-5626385-2614432?ie=UTF8&s=books
PEACE.
2007-02-26 10:38:58 · answer #5 · answered by Chloe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip on you relationship, you two should never be fighting in front of your kid. Get counseling, is you cannot work it out yourself.
2007-02-26 10:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a good situation for your young children. Insist you and he go to counseling, if he refuses go alone do not worry about cost as there are options available to you
2007-02-26 10:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by ken j 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling worked for my husband and I. Not religous counseling, the marital type.
2007-02-26 10:36:48 · answer #8 · answered by ~*Allypooh*~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get help from a marriage counselor
2007-02-26 10:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by katie d 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you young
2007-02-26 10:41:21 · answer #10 · answered by DeAngelo R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋