Baby forgetting about daddy?

Question

My son is three months old. His dad just left yesterday, to go to a school for training for 9 weeks. Then he will be back for one week, and after that he will be gone for two weeks at a time with every other weekend off. (He's driving for a trucking company)

He was wondering, is the baby going to forget him? What can I do while he is gone to help him remember? So far, we've planned on putting the phone on speaker every time we talk to each other so baby can hear his dad's voice. Is he too young to appreciate pictures, say right above his crib? Or in front of his swing?

And what about when dad comes home? How does that go? If he forgets, will he remember??

We're a little stressed and worried, but at this point in time, this job is going to take us up from being in financial distress, so please no suggestions about him quitting this job.

Answer 1

You are both wonderful for wanting to be sure daddy is remembered.

I would suggest a piece of clothing or something like a baseball cap or something that would have the scent of daddy. Keep it in his crib or in a place where he can be exposed to daily.

Put up pictures of Daddy all over the place and during the day ocassionally stop and talk to him about daddy. A baby learns to talk from their parents talking. He might not understand, but he is learning and will at least know that this face is important to you and to him also.

If your husband could get a video cam on a computer you guys could talk to him with that way. Also if you just have the phone that is something.

My son passed away and my daughter, his sister, has pictures in every room of the house and she talks to her kids about him.
They will know him without ever really seeing him.

Your baby will know daddy if you keep daddy alive in your daily life.

I wish you all well.

Answer 2

No your baby will not forget his father at all. My daugther barely sees her grandfather, shes 6 months and he has seen her 3 times, and when she seems him she always has a big smile for him, and gets very excited to see him. She recognizes the voice. If your really concerned, the picture idea is great, even have a picture to show him while hes on the speaker phone and tell your son, its daddy. When you husband comes home, the baby will recognize the voice and have a huge smile for daddy. Your husband is going to miss your child even more, so definiltly make sure he has a picture of your son to take along with him. Don't let this job stress yous, be happy that your moving forward in life and doing what is best to provide financially for your family. Good luck for you all.

Answer 3

Military families have to deal with this all the time. You have some good ideas, with the pictures above the crib and speaker phone use. Your son is still so young that right now it's not about him forgetting his Dad, but you keeping his Dad fresh in his mind. Get a web-cam and then your husband can stop at truck-stops and internet cafe's where he can communicate with you and your son. When your husband comes home just try to keep it as normal seeming as possible, don't stress about it or that stress will come through to your son. Good Luck to you, sometimes doing what's best is also doing what's hardest.

Answer 4

My husband is in the Army, and he'll be leaving for Iraq shortly after our little girl is born. One thing I'm planning on doing is having my husband read books on tape for me to play for her. I've known people who played their husband's voices for the baby and when he got home, the baby recognized his voice. I'm also going to put lots of pictures of him over her crib, even when she's just a few weeks old. I don't know how much it will help, but it wil make me feel better. I've also seen little "dolls" or pillows made with an iron-on photo of the dad - I'm going to try to find something like that to keep in my daughter's room, too. I would also make sure to talk about daddy as often as possible, especially as your son gets older. My friend's son was 4 months old last time our husbands deployed, but his first word was still "dada." She talked about him enough that her son had a vague knowledge of who he was.

From what I've seen, most young kids adjust well when daddy comes home (our husbands are gone for a year at a time). Don't push him to be with his dad if he is nervous around him. It helps if Daddy always has something fun - the little boy I mentioned fell in love with his daddy when he started giving him chocolate. They're inseperable now. He may not "remember," exactly, but he will re-learn who daddy is and love him just the same. Once he gets older (if your husband is still working the same schedule), you can involve him in countdowns till Dad comes home so he always has that to look forward to. Talk every day about how many days there are left until you see daddy.

The good thing about your son's age is that he won't miss his dad. It gets a lot harder once the kids hit 2 or so and realize that daddy's gone again. Good luck with your little one. I'll be right there in the same boat here in a few months, so I can definitely appreciate how difficult it can be to be a "single" parent most of the time.

Answer 5

I think the ideas you have about pictures are great ones. I also think you talking about his daddy to him would be great too. At this age your son doesn't have object permanence so he wouldn't really realize that his daddy exists when he leaves the room much more than if he is gone for 9 weeks. He will remember him when he comes home though. He may be a little shy with his daddy at first but he will remember him. Try not to worry.

I'm more worried about you. 9 weeks is a long time to be on your own with a three month old. I hope you have back-up!

Answer 6

My husband was sent overseas when my son was a baby and I was really worried that he would not recognize his daddy when he finally came home. I decided to make a "Daddy" photo album that had pictures of my husband holding the baby, mowing the grass, the three of us together, wearing his glasses, not wearing his glasses- pretty much every picture I had of him. Every day I would try to sit down and go over each picture like I was reading a story. I don't know if he really understood what I was telling him, but when Daddy finally came home 14 months later, he smiled at him and went right to him. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

He will probbaly play strange with him for the first little bit, but he will become accustomed to the schedule. The speaker phone is a great idea. My husband went away to work in another proviince when my daughter was young a well, so as a screen saver on our computer, we had his picture up. Your son will still recongize his face. Put up a pic where he will see it regulary and piont to it and say daddy! He'll remember! Just remind your husband that he is doing what is best for his family and no one can fault him that! Tell him not to worry, children,especially babies, are very forgiving! Good Luck!!!

Answer 8

As long as your husband frequently visits, your baby should not forget about Daddy. My younger brother was a baby and my dad was in the Air Force, and gone alot, but he still remembered him. A good way to keep him remembering Dad is to show him a picture of him, and say, "This is daddy. He isn't home now, but you know he loves you!" I love your ideas. I would try them all because you can't be too careful!

Answer 9

My husband was a truck driver when our 3rd son was born and he knows his daddy well. When he was 6 months my husband ended up going to work in another state on a oil rig and I also thought he may forget, but he didnt. At that point my husband was gone every 3 weeks and home for one. He knew his daddy every time he came back home and was not shy around him or anything. Loves his daddy. Your son definitley wont forget him.

Answer 10

Your baby is blessed to have such a great daddy to be willing to sacrifice being away from his family for a positive reason. I think letting him hear his voice over the phone is a great idea. Pictures are great too! Also make sure you talk to your baby about him. He's so little right now that he won't remember anyway but it will make your hubby feel more connected.