I just came out of the closet to my parents. The last thing I want to be on their minds is me having sex with another guy. I mean, ok, sure it WAS hot before when I was in the closet. But now, with them knowing, I can't think about sex without getting freaked out. I feel like their thinking about me having sex. For one, because "aids" was the first thing my mom shouted when I came out about being gay. Now, I feel like their imagining me being a bottom and getting done by some hot stud. I feel so uncomfortable. When my dad enters the room, a breeze of awkwardness fills the air and it's totally quiet, same thing with my mom. I know they have had thoughts of me getting done, how should I handle this? 24/7, I am feeling like I want to throw up just because the thought of them thinking of my butt in anyway grosses me out. I wish I were still in the closet. I wish they didn't know. I don't even have a problem with them knowing I like men. It's just about the sex.
2007-02-26 09:41:11 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Dang! JACK C. you're a cutie down there, not your answer tho! I like your picture. I soooo have the hots for u
2007-02-26 10:12:29 · update #1
Uhhh wooow at some of these answers. I just want to run away from my parents now after reading some of these answers
2007-02-26 10:37:08 · update #2
I wouldn't worry about them thinking about your "endevours". As your parents they probably blank out everything regarding your sex lifeand is very similar to how you probably block out what they do as how they did regarding their parents. This is usually the case, no matter sexual orientation
One of a parents biggest fears when it comes to their child being gay is how it could negatively impact the way that others view their child.
Also, it can vary among parents (i.e. mother and father)
A mothers long term worries usually revolve around not having any grandchildren
A father tends to view such a scenario with dissapointment.
Both will of course worry about the basic things, such as the increased chances of contracting AIDS. It's a very scary topic no matter what sexual orienation you have.
Things such as this tend to be particularly painful things in cases where they are around other parents who are speak about their own children. A parent will often subconciously compare their child to others, which will likely lead to dissapointment in the situation that their child is "socially unacceptable".
Being in a similar situation to yours I can understand what you're going through. Over time things may calm down, but until then your faith in yourself will be tested. Stay true to what you believe in and take a stand if you must.
Good Luck!
2007-02-26 09:52:09 · answer #1 · answered by Brandon A 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hey think of it this way. if you were to get married, your parents would be thinking of you having sex anyways. and i can promise you this is not the first time it has crossed their minds (not necessarily gay sex, just sex in general). it may be awkward now and maybe it will be awkward still a week from now. but it will not ALWAYS be awkward. this will pass and one day it wont cross your minds.i went through an awkward stage a few years ago when my parents found out i cut. i was worried that that was all they could think about when i was around them. i avoided being alone with them incase the subject matter turned to that. but gradually things got back to normal. i dont worry about it anymore and this will happen for you too. dont regret telling your parents. eventually it would have had to be done and now its over with. plus there is no point worrying about something you cannot take back. good luck and hold tight! everything will get back to normal.
2007-02-26 10:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by chikka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what I've seen, parents block out their kids' sex lives as well as kids block out their parents'. They can handle their kids having the label "gay" but they tune out what it actually means. Don't worry about it. They may be concerned with every other implication that goes with being gay, but the sex part is rarely included. I have friends who went the whole route with their son, about the suicide rate, drugs, AIDS, everything but anything to with the fact that he wanted to have sex with boys! All they would talk about was his best friend being a girl. You have more important things to think about: Like how to get your sweetie into bed!
2007-02-26 10:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
whoa. slow down. First of all, its your sex life not theirs. You've got to learn to compartmentalize this. Do you think about your parents doing it ? Does that make THEM feel uncomfortable ? It probably should, but I'm sure they've gotten over it since they had you in the first place "doing it" after all. Everyone "does it". They'll get past the yuck factor. You should too. It will take some time. just be patient and try not to fixate on it too much.
2007-02-26 09:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by Telemachus R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Tony L! My gut thought/gut-instinct...was for you to watch the movie "Philadelphia" with your parents/family/friends etc... That movie changed my way of thinking! I considered myself a very "Liberal/Open-minded" person, being I worked in San Francisco, and have lived in and around the "bay-area" my whole entire life. My "brother-in-law" was gay. However, we didn't know this until he came up "HIV" positive. And thus, had contracted the "AIDS" virus through intro-veinous "drug" abuse. I know... I've gotten "off-track". But, my "brother-in-law" was more "ashamed" of being "found-out" about his homosexuality than his "cocaine-addiction". And, if that doesn't or hasn't sent a "message" to people...than, I'm at a loss for words! XOXO Tony! Moonchild
2007-02-26 12:49:52 · answer #5 · answered by Metallicamoon 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
+You really need to sit down with them and explain that there really is nothing to worry about, explain to them what gay love is and if they worry you do use a condom. You might explain that the love you feel for a guy is the same love they felt for each other. so really it should be you explaining things to them so they understand better what the situation is. Then you wouldn't have to worry about so much. although you probably do have a nice butt.
2007-02-26 10:08:48 · answer #6 · answered by jumpinjackdw 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well... think of it this way - They probably think about you having sex just as much as they did when they thought you were straight.
Parents' main concerns with their children are "Are they going to be healthy? Are they going to be safe?" Your mom probably brought up AIDS right from the beginning, not because she was thinking about you having sex, but because it is automatically associated with gay people.
I am a gay woman, and that was the first thing my mom said when I came out to her. Anyone who knows about AIDS knows that it is a lot more unlikely to transmit from female to female than it is from *male* to female, but she never expressed worry when she thought I was straight. Your mother saying that was her way of saying she is scared you are going to get hurt because that's one of the first things people think of when they think of homosexuality.
2007-02-26 10:26:31 · answer #7 · answered by Jeannie C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some stupid reason after reading the answers to your good question. I can not get out of my mine a picture of you lying on your belly with a condom on your penis while someone rides you bareback.. Tell them you always wear a condom?lol
Any way betcha they do not think of the actual scene of you having sex any more often then you picture them having sex. So relax,they just care about you.
2007-02-26 18:15:38 · answer #8 · answered by JUSTIN C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Comming out is a good thing, you shouldn't hide things from your parents.. your dads probaly gonna be uncomfy for a while.. His son the "MAN" just told him he don't like women, think about it most dads imagine a big tough son when they hold you in their arms for the first time they are thinking basketball, football, hockey. not shoes and fashion..and honestly when I find out that someone is gay that's the first thing i do is imagine the sex.. sorry but if someone has a strong imagination that's what happens.. mental pictures. They will get over it and so will you. Good luck.
2007-02-26 09:48:42 · answer #9 · answered by Kacey D 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you know what i thought about the same thing...i was thinking when i come out the closet are they going to think about me having sex with a girl, asking if i had have sex with a girl, has she been tested, was i tested...yea ive yet to come out and now that i think of it i dont wana be questioned about n e of that stuff...man this sucks lol
2007-02-26 09:44:44 · answer #10 · answered by orange_crush_05 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋