hi i have a 14 year old daughter and she as been chatting to this 18 year old lad on the internet i`ve tried explaining the dangers to her but she lied and went behind my back and met him ? found out cause a freind saw them and rang me anyone got any ideas on how i handle the situation i`ve grounded her and stopped her going on the computer for 4 weeks !!!!! have i done right for doing this ? what do you think ?
2007-02-26 08:50:22 · 33 answers · asked by vanda c 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You must still be shuddering to think of how badly this could have been had that person been a muderer or paedophile.
You have already set the punishment so i dont think you should change it. I think a months ban from the computer is fine. I;d have made it 3 months!!!!
you could set your pc in such a way that you can track what she is doing on there. You could also ban her from chatrooms.
Please don't feel bad about this. you sound like a great parent. teenagers are set to try our patience!!!!
If she does it again or you feel she has not learnt from this then ask your local Mr Plodd to have a chat with her.
Also of course is the issues of an 18 year old knowingly meeting a 14 year old. you could report him to the police. I assume she did tell him she was 14????
2007-02-27 01:22:39 · answer #1 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that it's hard not to over react. But I think you are pushing her away, and now she will continue to go behind your back and do these things. I may be 10 years older then her, but I remember going through the same thing at her age. It would be better to have an open relationship with her. If you've already done your job as a mother, and warned her about all the dangers. Now you need to understand why she's doing this and get to know her and her friends...and this guy. Is she having a hard time finding a boyfriend the traditional way? Maybe she's feeling desperate and lonely and this is her next option? Get her to open up and tell you about her choices, and let her know you will try to understand. This is the best way I can see to be able to protect your daughter now.
2007-02-26 09:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by mommyem 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea...I dont think there is any reason for a 14 year old girl to be talking to anyone on the internet that you dont know. There are alot of crazy people out there. Not only 18. He could be lying about his age. Talk to your daughter some more and maybe try to look up some stories about other girls who meet people on the internet. Show her what has happened to them. I know that would change my mind. If this doesnt work you need to block the sites that she is talking to this person on. You should try to limit any and all contact with this man. He is up to no good. No 18 year old I know has any intrest in a 14 year old girl. Hope I helped! :)
2007-02-26 09:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by la_chica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her all the things wrong with what she did - from meeting a stranger to dating a man too old for her. Then from now on have a new policy about her computer use: The computer gets moved to a common room in the house, such as the family room, and you reserve the right to look at her screen any time you wish. This way you can keep tabs on her. She will protest - it's your job to be the parent and lay down the rules for her own safety.
2007-02-26 09:04:08 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Lucky♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all i would try to get ahold of this guy and let him know your daughter is only 14 and it is against the law for him to be with her also. I WOULD CALL THE COPS. you need to do that right away. let your daughter know that he may be a creap and you do now want to see anything bad happen to her she is only 14 and has PLENTY of time to meet a guy . he is to mature for her and most likely only wants one thing from her. i know ive been there and he got his one thing and ya know what i never saw him again i was 16 wanted to wait till i was married was pressured into it by a 23 year old and my mom tried to put him in jail but no one could find him. this is a bad idea for her to do
2007-02-26 10:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by sarah hellem 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she is going to go behind ur back, i think teenagers really react badly to being told what to do. but u aree her mum and u have to protect her. u can either carry on doing what ur doing she will be back in touch with him though. u have talked to her which is good but i think u need to meet up with this lad and talk to him about the fact he can be arrested for involvement with ur daughter. u could tell ur daughter u would like to meet him one on one 9which she might let u do if she thinks it is progress being made). Talk to him alone and tell him that uwill call the police if it does not stop. he prob will be so scared he won t contact her again. plus u dont know how old this guy is or anything really about him.
2007-02-26 23:01:46 · answer #6 · answered by kelly h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need 2 sit her down and talk 2 her woman 2 woman dont make her feel like a little girl (even though she is, she dosent think she is) cos this will agrevate her and she will go behind your back, explain about the dangers and about sex and how inportant it is to wait til she is ready. You can block the sites she can chat 2 him on, and block his number from her mobile, it is 4 her safety. Goodluck with it, hope things go well. x
2007-02-26 09:09:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason an 18yo is going to be attracted to a 14yo is because after about 6 conversations she is going to feel totally in love with the guy and all she is going to worry about is keeping him and making him happy and proving she is a woman and showing him off to her friends (for those that are asking).
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If you want to keep them separated you are going to have to contact her school, the lad's parents and the police and let them know you forbid your daughter to see him.
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If he gives ur grrl her first orgasm, u r going to have a real fight on ur hands to keep them apart. a 14yo is cross-eyed horny with hormones designed by mother nature to suspend her judgement and get her preggo.
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you have done the exact right thing by grounding her and keeping her from the computer, but what are you going to do about her yearning for how he makes her feel ? All she is thinking about is the next time she can be with him. You need to explain the realities of what is going on in her brain and try to get her to realize she is not in her right mind and she will do things that will affect a good portion of the rest of her life.
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I bet the 18yo has another g/f, if ur daughter finds out about her, that would be an excellent lesson about life and men. Ur daughter may have a friend who does not approve of the her b/f and she may help keep track of ur daughter.
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Weren't you ever a preteen/teen in love ?? Good Luck
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2007-02-26 09:25:07 · answer #8 · answered by glen_loves_fun 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sorry your having the teenage computer troubles had exactly the same only she was 16.maybe she lied about her age and said she was 16-17?
yes you did right by grounding her and restricting the computer, but hun sorry to tell you it doesn't work, i grounded my daughter and she locked her door and legged it out the window
the more you stop your teenagers trying to do something the more they disobey you and want to do it more
just talk to her tell her shes too young to be going out, and with all the rapists and murderers around you dont want nothing to happen to her, tell her you love and only want what is best for her
tell her b\fs break your heart and are only after sex, there is plenty time for this, tell her to enjoy her childhood as once its gone you can never get it back..dont lose your temper with her ,try and talk to her as a friend not her mum they usually become better as they get older, mine did
good luck
2007-02-26 11:08:21 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥™Tia™♥♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about the dangers of rape and ask her why else do you think an 18 year old MAN would want to talk to a 14 year old GIRL
2007-02-26 08:53:54 · answer #10 · answered by Diamond~ I <3 my Son 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋