When we were married, he was the sweetest & loving man I've ever known. Now after 30 years, he changed. He always is mad at me, says that 'm lazy, always complains that I waste money, that I don't listen to him & even the way I dress or my make-up, that I'm fat, sagging and old, etc. etc! All these years I had been the stronger sex when it comes to planning & decision making. Whatever I say or do, it's okay with him. But lately, I feel that he's kind-of-fed-up with me. What does this mean? What's wrong now? And why now?
2007-02-26 08:49:55 · 22 answers · asked by finding_answers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Doesn't sound like he hates you, but it sure seems he's annoyed with who you are.
You see, men can hate the spending of money, hate that you sit and watch the TV when the home is a wreck, etc, and still love you.
I agree, you don't listen to him. Based on what you say, you claim your husband hates you, but you don't quote him saying that. You (wrongly) equate his annoyance with your behaviors with hate.
They are not equal.
Are there things you do that you know annoy him? If so, then why do you do them? Do you hate him?
If I were to use your logic, you must hate him, you do things you know annoy him.
It could be something different.
It could be all him.
Ask him this, ask if each of you can cite one thing the other does that annoys you. I.E. if his biggest complaint is overspending, then you will do whatever it takes to not overspend.
He gets to cite one complaint, you don't get to challenge him on it, but can ask what constitutes acceptible behavior. I.E. if he cites overspending, then ask him what spending will he agree to. Then you just do it. Don't tell him he is wrong, unreasonable, etc. Just do it.
However, you get to cite one complaint as well, and he is expected to just do it, no saying you are wrong, unreasonable, etc.
Just work on one thing and praise each other when you experience success.
In 3 to 6 months, add another thing.
2007-02-26 09:14:38 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 30 years he better take a look in that mirror naked see how sagging, fat and old he looks. Tell him to show you his and you'll show him yours in a big mirror look up and down then around and see who's but is sagging the most. He is getting at the age just like all men do you get older and they get younger.
There isn't much you can do but for both of you to walk around the house when no one is there naked all day long. After about a week you might getting fed up with him.
2007-02-26 17:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by Nicki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a big change, only one reason for this, there is another woman making him feel young again, making him feel needed and in-control she is doing all the things you seem to not be doing. That is the simple answer, the real question is what are you going to do about it.
2007-02-26 16:56:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What change is taking place in your lives that he is getting worked up? Is he worried about his job? Men get upset when they worry about providing for their family. Guilt? has he done something lately that he is feeling guilty for, and taking that aggression out on you?
I would sit him down and try to get to the heart of the matter. I am sure it is not you, it is something else eating away at him.
2007-02-26 16:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jill R 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if he is suddenly finding fault after all these years, he is either sick, or he is having an affair with someone else. when someone gets involved with someone new they begin to find fault, criticize when they never did before. ask him why the changes? therapy may work. maybe he is going through a mid life crisis.
2007-02-26 17:21:34 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to talk & pinpoint what is the problem try to get a new honeymoon do sth to recharge your battries routine is deadful to a relationship. Best of luck
2007-02-26 17:16:05 · answer #6 · answered by kitycat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is taking you for granted. Go out more and be less available to him. Better yet, go to a gym and get that body in tip top shape! Then meet with your girlfriends afterwards. When you are around less, he'll start to appreciate you more.
2007-02-26 16:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by Christabelle 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
thats happening to me now and I havent even been married for a year! What I am doing now is working; Im putting a lot of distance between me and my hubbby and doing my own thing..
2007-02-26 16:54:23 · answer #8 · answered by Navi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means he finally grew a spine and stopped listening to all the feminist crap that men have been fed over the past 30years.
2007-02-26 18:25:10 · answer #9 · answered by Trip S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he's old. Are you better off with him or without him. Base the decision on what to do on how you answered that question.
I can't see staying with someone who hates me
2007-02-26 17:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋