mother-in-law from hell?

Question

Seriously, so my hub is locked up because he is stupid and violated his probation and got caught drinking, but anyway, two weeks ago she went to visit him and told him that I didn't want to go see him anymore, that I am the worst mother to our 6yr old boy. She don't think is necesary to call me and tell me where they are and what time they will be getting home when she has my son. And gets offended when I call her to find out. She thinks she can just decided for my son what is best for him. I'm sorry but with my hub in prison and her daughter running away with her boyfriend, I don't think she really is qualified to tell me how I should rise my son. Now, my hub seems to believe everything she says. I am pretty much tired of the whole thing. My hub is a MACHO man!?! who still listens to his mother!. He wants me to go visit him again this weekend, but I don't really feel like making the 6hr trip to have to sit through 2 hrs of bitching and have to sit another 6hr driving back home.

Answer 1

He is obviously a product of his environment. We learn as children how to behave, usually in the first 5 years of our life. If the daughter keeps on running away with the boyfriend, and your husband is in jail...I think it is obvious to blind freddy that his mother doesnt have a lot of good solid values.....and shes passed those same values down to her children. Youve worked it out already, but I guess with not a lot of support you are being influenced by what your husband believes. He is no macho man...he is a mummy's boy and hasnt let go of the apron strings yet. When a man/woman gets married, they firstly should be adults and let go of the ties that bind them to their parents. Your husband hasnt done that...so this macho image he is projecting is a load of crapola.

You are doing it on your own anyway. Maybe its time to give your husband a reality check...dont go to see him, but take it one step further....take your child well away from the influence of the mother in law. No court in the land is going to listen to a person in jail or the crazy mother whos parenting skills probably put him there.

What kind of values is your child going to learn whilever he is around a woman like your mother-in-law. What kind of values will he end up getting with a father who is in jail and who thinks hes a macho man? A macho man doesnt commit a crime to take him away from his wife and child. A macho man would consider his actions first. You are paying a dear price for being involved with a family like this one. Cut your losses and get the hell away from both of them.....not just for your sake, but for your child's sake. Your mother in law can only have power if you allow her to. You are the child's parent, the only one it seems because his father is in prison, so you are doing the raising exclusively on your own and you have the legal right to decide who your child is influenced by. This woman should not have your son at all if her son is any indication fo the values she instills into children. Where is your family? Have you got friends? Do you really have to let the mother in law have anything to do with your child? Your mother in law is obviously not a good role model for any child and the sooner you take her out of your sons life, the sooner you can get on and raise your child with good moral and ethical values. He will grow up as confused as all hell if you allow this relationship with the mother in law and the father to continue. Think about your son.....leave and dont look back. Find somewhere else to live....call family and friends for support. Call the Salvation Army....call anyone who can get you and your son out of this horrible environment. If your son doesnt grow up confused he may just become a criminal like his father. This is your son's and your future we are talking about here. You have one shot at life...it is one thing if you choose to destroy your life, but its another when you choose to destroy the life of an innocent child by the people you allow him to associate with. You have the power and you have the Law behind you too.

I wish you the very best, but more than that...I wish you all the strength in the world to realise what you are doing is extremely detrimental to you and your child if you continue to allow the mother in law to be a part of your lives.

Answer 2

I wouldnt go see him. Let him be stupid on his own or let his mama continue to go see him. I wouldnt let my son visit him in prison either. THat is no way for a child to spend time with a stupid parent. Put that MIL on a leash and tell her how it is going to be regarding YOUR son. Tell your hubby when he is able to send money to your home to help take care of the home and his child THEN he can possibly have a say or opinion but until then...shut the hell up. Dont let these folk worry you and I can think of about 100 things I would prefer to drive 6 hours each way for.

Answer 3

Well it might be time to take MIL out to lunch.
Take the quiet opportunity to tell her that she is doing a nice job of visiting and should carry on.
Then tell her that you will no longer make the trip because all he does is complain to you about things she told him.
Go on to say that because she cannot keep a schedule your child will no longer be going to her house and that if she wants to see the child she will come to your house and sit.
Finish with the big one. That you are a bit upset that she thinks so little of your parenting that you are no longer feeling you should be married to her son and will no longer wait for him to get out of jail. Tell her you feel compelled to divorce him and the family since you are so substandard in her eyes.

Then be quiet and listen to the stuttering.

Answer 4

why don't u just divorce him he doesn't sound too swift, his mother is causing alot of trouble, what kind of life do u really have here? mothers seem to have alot of control over their son's, and that is never good in a relationship, plus once he gets out she will cause u even more problems. if he is in prison than he made the choice, he hurt his family. maybe its time to reevaluate the marriage and get divorced, what he did was not your fault. plus u have no guarantee that once he gets out that things will be any better. he has put u in a very bad situation. dump him if u know what is good for u.

Answer 5

Im sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't want to go visit him, either. If I were you, I would start focusing on getting myself in a better position. I would spend my time and money on making myself as independant as possible, so that I would not have to rely on them, or tolerate their abuse. Your mother in law has no rights to your child, other than the ones in her own head. Sounds like she is not the kind of person I would want influencing my child. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't give her the time of day. She is putting unneeded stress on you, and hurting your marriage with her actions. I think you have to stand up for yourself- and that doesnt require you saying a word. Actions speak much louder.

Answer 6

Is there any other kind of Mother-In- Law than from hell. Drop that family grab your son and start doing some traveling and keep going, don't look back. Get a divorce and never let them know where you and your son are located.

Answer 7

Why do you let her take your son anywhere? Why do you visit your husband when all he does is ***** at you. Leave his butt and let him rot in prison. Get a divorce. Make his lousy mom take you to court for visitation if she wants to see your son. It doesn't sound like your husband or his mother have any respect for you as the boys mother. She thinks you are a bad mother? Look where her son has landed!

Answer 8

You need to lay down the law with that manipulative mother-in-law. If she can't tell you where she and your son are going or when they'll be back, then simply do not let her see him! You are the mother! She is not! As far as the husband goes, he obviously is still close to his mom so don't expect him to side with you (sad but true). Maybe it is time to leave him.

Answer 9

if the mother in-law doesn't abide by your laws then no more visits..sounds like this guy is going to give you grief for a long time if you stay with him...move on and get a lawyer

Answer 10

Maybe it is time to move along. I don't think this environment can be good for your son. You sound level headed enough, and this really is a common sense decision. Move along you don't need him, her, or any of this.