(writing this under my wife's sign in) My ex got sole parental responsibility because her lawyer pounded the fact that I was arrested for a felony burglary when I was 13 years old into the judges head and he went with it saying that it was "detrimental" to the child....BUT....he gave me visitation every other weekend....(guess i'm not that detrimental huh???) anyway, I pay child support, paid 1/2 of my son's medical expenses, paid her half of the mediation fees, paid the whole paternity test fee (we were never married, one night stand)...anyway, I want my rights to my son, I am doing the right thing, she just had a better lawyer.....if I want to file for a modification of the custody agreement, it says there has to be a "significant change in circumstances." What is that??????
2007-02-26 08:22:18 · 10 answers · asked by Lori W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Guess I need to add a little bit now...first, I would NEVER bad mouth my ex in front of my son, that's just stupid, his mother and I have no relationship whatsoever but that's the way she chooses it to be, my wife and I have tried to be civil but it is an impossible situation, then...I am not trying to get even with her for anything, I simply want equal time with my son, I want standard visitation rights, I don't even get Father's day!!!!!! right now, then....I am married, I have another daughter and a stepson, I have a good job, a home, transportation, not even one payment late on child support, I pick my son up on time, every time....but nothing has "significantly" changed, I'm about tapped as far as paying another lawyer, I really just want to go to court again and be able to say that I was not given a fair shake based on something I did when I was a teenager!!!! and be able to have my son on holidays, summers, etc...
2007-02-26 08:55:58 · update #1
To "somerandomchick"....can you email me??????
2007-02-27 01:39:24 · update #2
its not as complicated as it sounds, a significant change can be as minor as moving to a new home since the order. also u should be able to file it with the courts for an appeal. as far as a lawyer search online for lawyers then EMAIL ALL of them explaining ur situation and financial staus im sure at least one will help u i emailed 67 diff lawyers and had 4 contact me saying theyd bill me the least i finally found one that only charged me for court appearances(100$) its worth the shot. ALSO GETTING MARRIED IS A VERY BIG SIGNIFICANT CHANGE
2007-02-26 23:53:36 · answer #1 · answered by somerandomchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. First of all I find your story rather interesting. Any record you may have had prior to your 18th birthday should have been sealed and disregarded in this custody dispute. Better lawyering wouldn't even have helped that one. That's just a fact...it sounds to me like you may have gotten a bad judge.
In any event, a "significant change in circumstances" means very little. On a daily basis, I see parents in court for all sorts of little things trying to win more placement. The truth is, if it has been more than two years since the original order, take the mom back into court for a modification of placement. Fight for more time. Site "maintaining a more constant relationship" as your basis for this action. Tell the court that you are doing this in the "Best interest of the minor child". Nine times out of ten, if you use those exact words, a judge will not refuse your request for more visitation. BUT...you cannot come into court with dirty hands. And by this, I mean you cannot have missed a child support payment, a visitation arrangement, etc. Have all your I's dotted and every T crossed honey. Then you'll do alright.
You must keep in mind that judges do not like to alter orders they've already made, however; if you can get them on an emotional level (tug at their heart strings), you may get some leeway, and from there you keep moving forward until you accomplish what you've set out to do. Just be sure you are doing this for the child and not to get out of any obligations....courts see right through that too.
2007-02-26 08:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd translate that to mean a significant change in either her circumstances or your circumstances. I wouldn't wait around for a change in anyone's circumstances. Get a better lawyer and take her back to court and ask for more time with your child! You should have him 1/2 the time, not every two weeks. That's horrible. Your arrest record as a minor should have been sealed and not held against you as an adult. It sounds like you are a responsible adult now, working, married, etc. If you get your son overnight every other weekend now, then there is no reason why you shouldn't have more time with him.
2007-02-26 08:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means that something has changed dramatically with your ex's situation or your own. Say she wasn't a drug user, but now uses, you have proof and are concerned with your child's safety. It would have to be pretty life changing to get the judge to change the current order. I think if you can show that you have matured, you have a good relationship with your wife, your wife is open to having more contact with the child, and that you truly want more time with your child and not just trying to get even with the ex(which I suspect)then hire a lawyer and try to get the order changed, but like I said in the beginning, it would need to be pretty life altering to get it amended. If you fail to get it amended, always treat your ex with respect in front of the child, there is no reason to make him confused about people loving and not loving each other, it could make him feel that your love will stop with him, never let him feel that kind of pain, rejecting a child is just plain cruel, I hope your wife also can behave in a mature manner regarding the situation, you will be involved in each other's lives forever, try to make the best of a bad situation.
2007-02-26 08:36:23 · answer #4 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of lawyers offer free consultations. You should call one and tell them what you just said and ask what a significant change in circumstances means in the courts eyes. Do you have a good relationship with your son? Its good that you have been doing your part financially. Maybe you could work it out with your ex to where you can spend more time with him without going back to court.
2007-02-26 08:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by Tracy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A significant change could mean many things. For example if your income is low tlhat would mean more money. If you have substance abuse it would mean being in rehab. if you are with out a place to stay it would mean a stable home. I think you get the point. Your best avenue is to make sure all things are stable in your life for a reasonable amount of time and get a new attorney. And in the mean time take a look at the mother a little harder, because just like you had skeletons in your closet she has to. Good luck to you.
2007-02-26 08:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by Toolegit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any type of situation you are in now that would deem you as an unfit parent? If not then I say go talk to another lawyer about this. It seems your last lawyer was not a good one.You cannot change your past, but we can change our future. Go and fight for what you want and do not let anyone or anything hold you back. Good Luck!!!!!
2007-02-26 08:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by HOT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be so many different things, you've proven that you can be a better father, you're gotten married, moved, bought a home, a better job, etc.
2007-02-26 08:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by Valerie S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You you proved that you were fit. go back and try again
2007-02-26 08:25:28 · answer #9 · answered by kingsgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means she had to have denied you rights to your visits she became a bad parent ect.................
2007-02-26 08:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋