why dont i trust him what is wrong with me?

Question

I love my husband and i believe he loves me. we got married in september and i think we have a realistic relationship he is as perfect as he can be i dont expect the world but i think hes the best

i don't trust him though, and i don't know why. he looks at other women on myspace and i feel betrayed and let down, but i know its hypocritical because i probably look at men sometimes but it doesnt mean anything
why cant i sort this out? i feel so bad that i have turned to self harm but other weeks i am on top of the world. i am wondering if i am suffering with depression or something.

Answer 1

Nothing is wrong with you. You might have trust issues, but givin your situation, you have the right to not trust him. I have been in your situation. I'm taking a guess, but if he is like me, he loves you dearly, and if confronted with the situation, he would feel terribly guilty of looking at other women. He is probably suffering from what I went thru.

My wife was depressed and did not trust me ever. Eventually, I began to secretly desire the IDEA of someone else. I would never cheat, and your hubby probably wouldn't either. But I fantasized about it. What he needs is for you to talk to him about it, let him know that you TRUST him, and smother his *** off with affection. This takes work and determination, but also make sure you are still trying to be attactive to him. In a way...compete with these girls he is looking at. I know this sounds crazy, but by doing this, he will eventually realize what an *** he is being and realize that his dreamgirl is in front of him.

Letting him know you trust him will lead to self fullfilling prophecy. If he is worth his salt, he will come around. Also, if this doesn't work, seek counsuling.

Answer 2

If you are resorting to self harm to deal with this problem, you do need to seek counseling. I have similar issues, with someone I care about, and I have learned that he will always look at other women, there is nothing you or I can do about this, NOTHING, and I say look at other men, thats what they are there for. I'm sure you get looks and smiles, as do I. I have learned to enjoy those times when even if I'm feeling down at my b/f's habits and little quirks I don't like, someone out there is looking at me the same way he looks at other women. Its harmless, enjoy life, now if he makes a move or communicates with other women, then confront him. If they are not friends and he is talking to other women online and stuff then theres an issue. I did find out my b/f communicated w/ some woman on here, and yes it hurt me, that he would even go there, but I am not going to live my life afraid of what he is going to do, if he betrays my trust again, I will leave, 1st time shame on him, 2nd time shame on me/you.
Yours is harmless, as of right now, so just know he is with you and he is a MAN

Answer 3

Having trust issues is not uncommon. I love my husband but there are always the dreadful thoughts in the back of my mind. The main concern here is talking with your hubby. Let him know you don't like him looking at other females on myspace and explain to him how you feel. Maybe the both of you can try to develop a closer relationship by spending more time together and just relaize that trust comes with time... Realize that you must focus on the present and BELIEVE in the future and think positive. For instance everytime you think about things relating to not trusting him, tell yourself I am HIS WIFE and HE married me.

Answer 4

Have you tried hypnosis for jealousy? Download an mp3 session off the internet and use the session with an open mind every day for about 1 week. You will be pleasantly suprised to find out that you won't have an ounce of jealousy afterwards. What do you stand to lose? After all, it's your health you need to be concerned about and after all, whether we like it or not, probably about 99.999% of all the men you may have in your lifetime will, or may have probably cheated at some point in their lives. Prayer also works if you approach with a clear mind and have patience. Good luck !

Answer 5

yall need to delete myspaces or make them friends only. truthfully speaking the internet is the easiest way to cheat. If you are looking at other men and you can say and expect him to believe there is nothing to it then I would say he is doing the same. Follow your gut. You are a chick and you are sensitive tell him to make his friend only. I wouldn't worry about it but be sure to pay close attention to it. I hope yall don't get caught up in it like others have. Status be changing like everyday all bc some cat done photoshopped a pretty nifty pic of his face on some model in a millionare home. Then the meet happens and bam the whole well since I wasted my time sex happens. See you don't want that. Don't allow temptation happen to you.

Answer 6

It could be past relationships, parents or maybe a combo. Your best bet is to talk to him about it. You're married, you have to be able to talk otherwise this relationship is bound to fail. Let him know that you're uncomfortable with him checking out other women. However you cannot get defensive when he says he doesn't like that you look at other guys. You say you probably look at other men, there is no probably either you do or you don't you just really didn't want to come out and say it. The key to making this marriage last is to talk to each other. You claim he is the best but you don't trust him, you have to find where it is you lose trust in him and work with him to establish that trust.

Answer 7

You have the right to feel this way, i think it's because you know he looks at other women on myspace & he should NOT be doing that because he is married to you. Also you should not be looking at other men even though you both know it doesn't mean anything, it still causes some type of problem between the both of you or one of you. You have to tell him what bothers you, if you don't, he will keep doing it & you not trusting him will get worse. An old co-worker once told me that after 5 years of marriage, men start to get "itchy" she meant that they start looking at other women, she said it's considered "normal" & that it didn't bother her. I told her "NO, not on my end! My husband doesn't dare look at other girls & if I ever caught him, I will cut off his balls." The thing is....although some women may find these things "normal", but you have to think about self respect & respect over all. You need your husband to respect you, by all means to get respect is to show him you are NOT going to put up with any BS & looking at other women is one of them.

Answer 8

its not him love its you and you need to go to the doctors i am not saying this to be mean to you but you are suffering from something i think depression but i am not a doctor but you must seek out help before you drive him away that is when your problems will really start
if his only fault is looking at women on myspace he has no faults

Answer 9

You display symptoms of Manic Depression. This is not your fault. It is an internal disorder, in that it is nothing you can control, nor be ashamed of. You body is doing it by itself.

Please go seek medical help with this. You must. It is a chemical imbalance which is (relatively) easily remedied.

Hold your head up, get the help you deserve, and see how good things really are.

Answer 10

Sorry to tell you this hon but that's how it started with my ex-husband. We were CRAZY in love, then we got married and he would just be giving that liiiittle bit too much attention to a girl at a party, or I'd catch him making eye contact with someone on the subway. He'd deny it left, right and center, but eventually he had an email flirtation with someone. I found out and he stopped it...then about 6 or 7 months later he actually slept with someone else.

There is a type of guy who cheats and he'll cheat in lots of little ways and eventually in the big ways. Women don't normally imagine these things, and if you don't feel safe, it may be your gut telling you to watch out.