My fiance is the fourth in his family to acquire the 'family name.' We don't have kids yet, but I'm already wondering... am I obligated to pass on the name to my firstborn son? I don't want his family to be angry or upset with me, nor do I want to halt a family tradition, but it doesn't seem entirely fair to me that I don't really have any say in my own son's name. The name is nice (Robert), but it's extremely common and the only shortened version of it that I like is my fiance's name- Rob. I would rather pick something more unique and original, but I also don't want to cause a conflict or upset anyone. I already suggested using Robert as a middle name instead, but my fiance said if we did that, we couldn't pass on the title "V" (fifth) at the end of the name. I don't think I should have to use the name, but am I just being selfish?
2007-02-26 07:29:09 · 23 answers · asked by journalismgal 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
You're not being selfish at all. The babies name is something that you should agree on together. It is not entirely his choice and it is definitely not his families decision. Have you thought about a compromise. I did that with my husband. When I got pregnant he didn't like any of the boys names that I picked and insisted that he really like a particular name which I didn't. I said that I would agree to the name if I got to pick the girls name without his approval. It worked out well. He got to name one and so did I.
2007-02-26 07:39:20 · answer #1 · answered by princesschubbybutt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it would be the end of the world if the name didn't carry on, i mean its has already been passed down enough. It will be much easier for you future to be son to have a different name. I work in insurance and it is a pain when we have 2 people in the same household that has the same name except for the number at the end like 4th or 5th. It makes it very confusing. I would be prepared for things like that if you name him the same as your soon to be husband. You and your fiance need just need to talk about it when the time comes. Its your child also and you should have an opinion also. I would be furious if i felt like i had to name my son the same name as every other male in my husbands family. Hope this helps.
2007-02-26 10:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by sweettnpea 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think of it positively. If you agree with your fiancee's point of view now, he and his family are going to be so happy that next time you want something really important for you, they will be more than happy to agree. It is not a bad tradition either, many families (including me) would have loved to have such respect for their family tree and putting the title "fifth" after the name, gives it some uniqueness that not everybody has. Why don't you choose the middle name instead and call your son by that name if you really dislike Robert? You can also always call him Rob which you like.
2007-02-26 07:41:28 · answer #3 · answered by petyado 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one! I love the name! It was my dad's name, Robert Clarence and everyone called him Bob. It seems the name would make everyone happy, but you. The kid would probably feel special, being the "fifth" generation with that name. But, I think you're worrying about this way too far in advance!!! You may not even have kids or a boy for that matter!!! No you're not being selfish. This is your child's name we are talking about here, it should be a compromise that all will be happy with. Maybe you could name him the name of Robert, so everyone will be happy, and then you could call him by whatever name you want!! People have nicknames that they go by their whole life! He could answer to two names!!!
2007-02-26 07:43:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is something you should iron out before you have kids, but it is between you and your fiance, not his family. If you are planing on having more than 1 kid then agree that a boy is named after him but you get to pick the name if it's a girl. Then maybe call him by his middle name or initials. You shouldn't worry about upsetting anyone other than your fiance. If he agrees then he should stand up to his family for you. I think for your child to be the V, fifth, he must have the exact name as your fiance.
2007-02-26 07:43:13 · answer #5 · answered by bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the name, honor the family tradition - BUT call him something different. My cousin's wife really wanted to name their son Kaden but he wanted a "jimmy" so they named him Kaden but everyone calls him Jimmy. It's a good compromise.
I am pregnant with our first child and his family - all the men have "JLS" for initials - the "L" stands for LEE and the J can be anything - i'm having a hard time coming up with a J name for a boy that isn't already taken and he doesn't want a Jr, so that's out!
Gotta love family traditions - i say it's time to start our own - LOL
2007-02-26 07:59:04 · answer #6 · answered by Just Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, this is a tough question. Basically, don't worry about the extended family. Work some compromise out with your fiance. My husband's family passes on the same initials to the first born son, a tradition none of his 3 brothers, many uncles, father and others have not broken. For me, I'm going along with the tradition, but I get higher "veto power" on names for our future children. I tried to fight the tradition for a few years, but then I realized that this is something very important to him, and I conceded. No regrets.
2007-02-26 07:41:00 · answer #7 · answered by tothebeans 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that it should be you and your fiance decision if you want to name your first son Robert V. Personally, I am someone who would not agree with naming a son after the father and passing on the tradition to the first born son and here is why;
Take for example, if a person is named William, I would not recommend them to name their first born son William because I know that conflict will arise between William Sr. and William Jr. Here are the conflicts I see happening;
1. If there are telephone calls asking for William, you ask which won, Sr. or Jr?
2. Mail can be complicated because there will be times you do not know if the mail goes to Sr. or Jr if both same similar interest.
3. Jr. might resent the name because of the conflict that occurs being named after the father.
Naming your first born son Robert V is a difficult decision to make. I know a man who is named after his father and is the II but didn't name his first son after him and made the son III. Instead, his first born son has the fathers middle name. As for me, I would not want to name my first son after be because of the conflicts that could arise but I would give them my name for a middle name.
I hope my information was helpful.
2007-02-26 07:47:42 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Knowledgeable VI 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfishness, but tradition is usually a big conflict in relationships. And I do feel for you, but it sounds as though (first) none of our answers are going to make a difference and (second) it sounds like even if they did the answer is pretty clear, your first son may just be named Robert. Maybe you'll have more than one.
2007-02-26 11:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It bugs me when people name their kids after someone else in the family. Is there something useful about my niece having the same middle name as our grandma? How exactly does it honor her? It's just a name! Why can't we have our own special and unique names, apart from our relatives?
I say, no, you should NOT "have" to use it. It's your child, too. It would be really petty for the family to be upset with you for choosing YOUR own child's name.
2007-02-27 04:03:16 · answer #10 · answered by lovetoplayfantasyfootball 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋