I just lost a baby girl at nearly 22 wks. Everything seems so hard, and I just know I'll die of heartache/heartbreak/ and just plain ole lost of my heart. I live with my mom, dad, and brother, but I'm sure they just don't want to see me suffer. That's really no help in the griefing process. My dad has already talked to my sister about me going to Florida for a little while, so that may be relief, but who's to say that's for sure. I may come back even more jacked up than when I left. I'll just be leaving behind a house. My little girl was IN me. What can I do to forget myself?
I'm trying to locate a therapist before I go insane, but who knows how long I can handle all this pressure. Pressure to be okay; pressure to have hope in anything else; pressure to actually move forward.
People keep telling me to write. I don't FEEL like writing. I don't even FEEL like eating. I'm just completely out of my sorts.
2007-02-26 07:21:11 · 18 answers · asked by Adrina P 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I named her, Messiah Charlise.
2007-02-27 02:44:42 · update #1
No amount of time or greiving will make you forget your baby. I lost a little boy 16 weeks into a pregnancy back in Sept. of 2001. I had other children and my husband and you know what I didn't want to be anything to anyone. People were like you have the others be happy. But I will tell you with time all wounds do heal to a degree. I can now go through days where I think of him but don't feel like I want to jump off a bridge. I tried to do the whole greif counslor thing and didn't like the how does this make you fell and the nod of her head and that look. I found for me I painted a box and stenceled his name and dates on it and inside I put my journal from my pregnancy, ultrasound pics, and all the things we had bought to that point inside as well as the cards and his angel bear and ornament we had done for him the first Christmas after I lost him. I placed it on my dresser and kept it there for a long long time until one day it just felt write to put it away in the closet. We also planted a dwarf apple tree so I would have year round reminders of him. I would have the blossoms in the spring, the apples in the summer and fall and then in winter we decorated it for the birds to eat off of. It just felt nice to look out the window and see those reminders of him and what he meant to me. There is no wrong way to grieve, grieve the way that feels right to you and your heart. Go online to the different sites for grief and loss and tell your story, light a candle on line for your baby, talk to others who have been through the same thing and they know first hand what you feel. I found my best friend who lost her baby girl Emily at 22 1/2 weeks to a cord accident to be my shoulder to lean on and over time she and I have helped each other heal and move on so to speak. You will never forget but it does get just a little easier everyday that passes. Remember your baby in what ever way makes you feel good. My prayers and thoughts and my heart go out to you may you find some peace and there are lots of us out here who know what you feel, email if want.
2007-02-26 08:15:35 · answer #1 · answered by danniella0802 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry sweetheart. I lost a daughter at 22 wks myself and believe I know what you are going through. I didn't want to eat, sleep, or talk. I just cried and wanted to be left alone. She was my first child and I honestly thought that I would die from the pain of losing her.
I felt like it was my fault, even though rationally I knew it wasnt. There aren't any magical words to help ease the pain. It takes time and help. I didn't feel like writing about it either for a good long time and then one day I just started writing to get all the thoughts out of my head.
I had friends and family that were there for me. Don't assume that they don't want to see you grieve or can't help. As time goes on the pain does lessen, although for me it has been over 2 years and it still hurts.
something that really helped me and I'm not sure if you can do this, I had a beautiful funeral service for my little girl, her name was Destini Rae, and she has a grave with a headstone that I visit every month. At first I went out there a lot more often than that. It is a place that I feel close to her.
If you do feel like talking or sharing, sometimes talking to a stranger really helps, feel free to email me at nikki_csg@yahoo.
Again I am so sorry for your loss. My heart and prayers go out to you.
2007-02-26 07:30:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear about losing your baby girl! My heart goes out to you! My oldest son was killed in a car accident when he was 20 months old and I thought, like you that I couldn't survive the heartache. I felt a huge hole where my heart used to be. I wallowed in grief for years and years, even though life went on.
Now that I am older, I understand that God was there for me at the very moment my baby was taken away. I just didn't know how to turn to Him for comfort. Find yourself a good Christian grief counselor or group that can help you sort through all your emotions. It's very important that you do this!!
I wasted so many years in self-pity and misery. Years that I could have been able to do so much more for others and myself if only I could climb out of the dark pit I was in. Trust in God. He loves you but never promised that life would be easy. He did promise that he would be there for you no matter what.
God has blessed me abundantly and I know that I will see my son again when it is my time.
2007-02-26 07:38:54 · answer #3 · answered by Buff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's such a sad thing to have happen to you. So very often a woman will lose her baby because there was something wrong with it and your body knew this(science and doctors don't know everything). Remind yourself that it would have been very hard for you to care for a child that may not have been normal and that the child may have had to suffer both physically and mentally. Keep thinking of the future and how life will be easier for you and anyone else(your family, a spouse, or another child)
in your future. Only think of your future happiness, not what might have been. Take care.
2007-02-26 07:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by Sue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, i am so so sorry for your loss... i am sure that it is hard, and can't even imagine it. however as time goes on it will get easier, i know its hard to believe but its true... maybe you should go to florida, wht would it hurt? you wouldn't come back more depressed, just try to realize there is nothing you can do. and god has a plan for everything and everyone. now must not have been the ''time'' to have the baby, i know it sucks, and is hard to believe. but when it is meant to happen, it will. god has a plan for everyone and wouldn't give us more than we could handle (i'm not all that regligious but do believe this....). talk to people about it... you should go see a professional because you could give you some anti depressants too to handle it. move at your own pace, not everyone elses.
do you have any other ''releases'' from stress?? i run, and draw when i'm stressed. its all about finding whats right for you... i'm very sorry again....
2007-02-26 07:30:00 · answer #5 · answered by ricleigh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to know how you feel. But my sister has lost 2. One at 6 months gestation and one at 12 weeks. So I have been around that kind of loss. You just have to realize it had to be for a reason. It was just not that babys time to be born. I'm sure that doesn't help though. Just hang in there. It has to get better. Sorry again. Good luck
2007-02-26 08:50:14 · answer #6 · answered by doodersmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear of your loss.
Contact your local hospital as many of them offer grief counselling for losing a baby through miscarriage.
It may do you good to get away and start again. I'm not sure if someone can die of grief but, in time, the pain will lessen.
2007-02-26 07:30:51 · answer #7 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I went through the same situation twice. For the longest time, that was the only thing I could think about and I was always so sad and upset. I started working to kinda get my mind off of it and it really has helped but I still get upset and miss my baby everytime i think about it. Stay strong
2007-02-26 07:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-02 00:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by favaron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will and cant ever forget but you should take your own time to be alone and yes you will remeber her but you can realize that she isnt gone forever she is in heaven waiting for her mommy. Live life to the fullest and realize everything that happens is in gods plan. Also if the daddy is around talk to him see how he feels and know your not alone. I am so sorry for your loss God bless
2007-02-26 07:29:43 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋