I have a friend who is 14 all her life she has been nothing to the eyes of her parents. As her parents she believes there is some good in them but i've heard so much that i have had about enough! My friend is a great person, she has a great personality, she's smart and a future. but at home her parents call her a failure.. they treat her like **** and think of her as the worst. she has broken down on me many times and it tears me apart to see her like that. she's scared to lose all she has and i've let her know im there and i've given her thoughts about getting out but it's her family and i understand her that she wants to find the good in them. BUT THERE IS NO DAMN GOOD IN THEM!
2007-02-26 07:12:11 · 7 answers · asked by ninacoqueta0817 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've had so many friends like that- their parents are so mean/awful to them 24/7 it's almost impossible to believe.
Do you know what caused their bitterness? their parents telling them the exact same thing. In order to break the cycle it's extremely important that you explain to your friend that they mean a lot to you and that they're very smart/pretty, not just because it's true, but that they need to hear it more often than they hear the negative stuff. People in these situations are also commonly suicidal, so please watch out for the warning signs before it's too late, you don't want to lose a friend. Whenever you can, give them cards, presents, etc. if you go on vacation, send them postcards and bring back a souvenier, t show them that even though you left, you are still there. They need to know that they matter, talk to him/her as much as possible, and support her through everything. I wish you luck, because it's a difficult path, but sometimes it's the parents can't see potential because they don't know how to look. Encourage her to tell people about her dreams, goals, and ambitions, and support her to the best of your ability
good luck!
2007-02-26 07:44:40 · answer #1 · answered by turtlebean2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That’s terrible! However there is always two sides to every story. Yes her parents are going about handling her all wrong but when you’re not around you don’t know what your friends is doing.
What she needs to do is do her best to deal with the situation until she’s of legal age to leave. At the age of 14, she doesn’t have many options. If she has other family members that she can go live with, maybe that something she can look into. If she feels that it’s too bad for her and would really like to be removed from the household, she can contact the Dept of Children and Family and report the abuse. She needs to understand though that taking that route can and will open up a lot for her and her family. They will come and investigate the situation. They may check to see if any of her relatives will take her and if not she can be sent to a foster home children’s home. She needs to try perhaps talking to her family about how she’s feeling and how she feels when they talk to her in this manner.
Your hands are tied because there’s not much you can do for her in this situation except give her support. When she feels she needs to talk just be there to listen. Let her know that even though you can’t and don’t live her life you want to be there for her and give her support. Just be the support system she needs. Maybe you should talk to your parents and see if they can not only give you suggestions for your friend but they may offer to help her. What's to be lost in talking to your parents.
2007-02-26 15:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two possibilities, 1) they are just complete and utter *ssholes or, 2) they are trying a reverse psycology on her. They are telling her she's worthless hoping she'll get mad and "show them otherwise". You know, excell in spite of them. But there really is no telling unless you see it for yourself as an outsider.......or ask her parents why they treat her this way, but I'm not sure you want to do this.
John
2007-02-26 22:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should talk to your friend and see if she is comfortable with telling an adult. If not see if this continues and see if it gets worse if it does then definatly tell an adult maybe they can contact the parents and see there side. She may love her familly but if she is getting treated poorly then you need to do something about it. Its for her own good.
2007-02-26 15:38:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only getting one side of this story and maybe if you could hear her parents story you would understand some things better. Best to just be her friend and let her work out her family problems herself.
2007-02-26 15:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AS HER FRIEND I HOPE YOU ARE NOT TELLING HER THAT HER PARENTS "ARE NO DAMN GOOD" EVERY HUMAN MAKES MISTAKES. HER PARENTS HAVE THEIR OWN STUFF TOO. INSTEAD OF TRYING TO RUN FROM THESE PROBLEMS SHE COULD ACTUALLY BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR HER FAMILY. UNFORTUNATELY, SOMEONE HAS TO BE THE ADULT IN THE SITUATION AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT MAY HAVE TO BE HER. TELL HER ,EVERY TIME ANYONE PUTS HER DOWN IS FIRST OFF...BECAUSE THEY HATE THEMSELVES. SECONDLY, SHE KNOWS THEY ARE WRONG, SHE KNOWS SHE DESERVES MORE, AND SHE WILL HAVE MORE IN TIME. SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS WORTH. AS HER FRIEND YOU COULD REMIND HER OF ALL SHE IS. TELL HER, EVERY TIME SOMETHING NEGATIVE IS DONE TO, OR SAID ABOUT HER, JUST SMILE,DO THE RIGHT THING AND KNOW THAT ALL OF US ONE DAY WILL ANSWER TO OUR GOD FOR EVERYTHING WE HAVE EVEN THOUGHT. LET GOD SMILE BACK AT HER ON THAT DAY.
2007-02-26 16:09:28 · answer #6 · answered by annilori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advice her to stick around until she turns 18 and get the hell out there. I grew up the same way, my parents were always talking s*** about me and their behavior messed me up. Even to this date I have low self-steem, but after lots of therapy I came out to think that we can't make other change, but we can change ourselves.
Fortunately she has you as friends, and support! Advice her to ignore as much as possible her parents, also to do as many ex-curriculum activities (sports, classes, join groups, get a part-time job...), or try to apply for scholarships to go to college (out of town). We can't choose our relatives, but we can choose our friends. One day her parents will see that they were wrong and hopefully they will apologize for their actions.
The world goes around, and many people change, today they might think the worst of her, tomorrow they might need her help, you never know! ;-)
2007-02-26 15:23:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋