i'm still married but for how long who knows.and thats the major one the keeping me there. i work but he is the one who pays the BIG bills.i have NO idea what to do.i've been with him 11 yrs. i think i still love him but then i hate him.ADVICE PLEASE
2007-02-26 07:02:28 · 14 answers · asked by clocklear05 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My honest advice is, you had better learn to "love " him real fast! Unless he abuses you, or the kids, you're going to have to "fake it till you make it". If he is abusive, you need to leave him, and let the chips fall where they will. It's too hard for a single Mother of 3 to make it, unless he is abusive and hits you. NEVER stay where you are hit on, and used as a "punching bag"! The kids deserve better, and so do YOU! Good Luck!!
2007-02-26 07:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can do it if you set your mind to doing it. I raised three boys on my own for 12 years and don't regret a day of it. They considered me their friend before they considered me their single mom. They knew their boundaries and knew when I meant business and when I was joking. If you stay in the marriage with no love, then you are teaching your children the same. They can sense this no matter what their age is. It takes a lot of cut-backs and less spending than what you are probably use to, but it's better being on your own with all your spare time dedicated to your children. Good luck to you. Hope you have a job.
2007-02-26 07:11:43 · answer #2 · answered by God Bless America 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are miserable then get out of the marriage. You cannot love someone that you also claim to hate. You may be afraid or in an emotionally bad place, but take my advice and get out!!! Life is too short and somehow you and your kids will eat. I threw my husband out with no job and when I just started having chemo-therapy and you know what? I hated him then and I still hate him now, but somehow I and my young daughter kept it together, broke and all and I can sleep at night. Get out and find a way. You WILL make it.
2007-02-26 07:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by BLAM1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I raised three kids by myself and I can tell you that it was very difficult and I was always so exhausted. I have a reasonable job that allows me to take time off when I need to. I make enough to keep us afloat financially because I have never seen a bit of child support. Children cost money and as long as you get child support, you should be okay that way. As far as the emotional drain - that's just the way it is and you do get used to it.
2007-02-26 08:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by Dovie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand, i raise 3 kids on my own, Its a very scary thought before you leave, but its not to hard. When you are out there and on your own you will do things you didn't know you could. You will gain great self confidence because you are raising them on your own. By best advise is to find a good day care because that could make all the difference, everything will come natural. If you wanna chat send me an email lulabell232000@yahoo.com
2007-02-26 07:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by Randa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard raising kids on your own, he has to help to finacially accoring to the court system you will get support according to his income, the judge will determine that. Being a single parent has its up's and down's. If your not happy and fighting alot it is best to leave with the kids and make it a friendly happy enviroment for them. When you divorce you are entitles to half epsecially when you are the one that is going to raise the kids.
You only live once, live it happily.
Here in Canada, fighting and yelling infront of kids is child abuse, Im not sure of the laws in the US.
2007-02-26 07:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by Tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when you get a divorce he will be ordered to pay you child support and they may help with the house payment you might consider selling that new car if you have one for a car that you can pay cash for to avoid paying full coverage insurance and car payments. Get rid of extras that are not nessesary such as cell phones and extra calling features and 300 cable cannels to conserve your money. I have three children and have been seperated from my ex for a year and I am doing okay and i didnt even have a job when i kicked him to the curb.
2007-02-26 07:12:10 · answer #7 · answered by littlereddragon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to raise kids by yourself as a single mom. I tried it for a couple of years and it was harder then what you can even imagine to do so but i made it through and now i am remarried to a wonderful husband who loves my kids as his own. I suggest you seek marriage counseling and help with your husband before giving up on this marriage.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
2007-02-26 07:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand where you are coming from, I'm in the same boat.... it will be very hard raising your kids but you can do it... people might say to you, stay in the relationship but how can you stay in that relationship when you are unhappy.... try to perpare your children mentally for this change if you decide to leave your spouse.... and perpare yourself mentally, and money wise.... try to upgrade your career by going to school and studying something with more pay..... you can do it!! you need to find happiness within yourself first.... take care and GOD BLESS!
2007-02-26 07:21:48 · answer #9 · answered by hazel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have 2 kids, and i hate who i am with but i love him everyday also. we have only been together going on 5 yrs. I can't tell you what it's like with 3 kids but it will be hard, have faith in yourself and let god help you also. you can do it, all mothers can.
good luck
2007-02-26 07:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by memyselfandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋