I've been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs. The first two years we were together I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. However, by the 3rd year things started to change for the worst. He has a drug problem that he refuses to get help with. I realize that I'm powerless to help him if he doesn't even want to help himself. After five years I'm tired of my needs and wants going unmet. I wish him well but can no longer tolerate his inability to change. What would you do if you were in this situation. I don't know what to do to make this relationship work when I'm the one doing all the work so I want to move on.
2007-02-26 06:54:45 · 6 answers · asked by strawberriesilove 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
OH my gosh!! this sounds so much like me 4 years ago. I was with a guy for 6 years whom I too was absolutely in love with an thought we would spend our lives together. He was everything I wanted until he too got hooked on drugs(marijuana). But anyway it made he become someone I despised yet pitied at the same time. He cheated, became very cruel, and his motivation became non existant. He didn't care about anything anymore including me. I had to face reality myself... and after months of praying asking God to release me from him.. one night.. I had to concoct a lie.. but I knew it would do the trick. I had been telling him for months it was over but everytime he would ask me to come back I would. Well , I new unless I said something that would get him upset enough or better yet get him to understand how serious I was about moving on..I made up a lie about me seeing another guy and that when I went out with this guy(fake guy by the way) I realized that I want out of the relationship for good to see what else there is out there for me. he was mad at the thought that I was cheating..of course he had cheated on me 3 times.. but it worked. I told him we could remain friends but i won't bother becoming serious with him agaiin until he got some help for the drugs and all the emotional problems that the drugs brought. Try telling him that you've met someone else and see if it works for you as well. By the way 4 years later and my ex is still messed up on the drugs and meaner than ever..
2007-02-26 07:08:46 · answer #1 · answered by candyred1999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with him and let him know exactly how you feel. Tell him exactly what you just said. He's not trying to change his habits nor is he fulfilling your needs since that's not being done you feel that he's holding you back. Let him know that you feel that you deserve better than what he's giving and it's time that you look out for you and take care of you. Tell him that you will always care for him and you wish him the very best but it's time to end this relationship before you start having bad feelings towards him. The sooner you tell him and move on the better. You just have to be blunt about how you feel and what you feel. Once you tell him what's on your mind you then have to back what you say by leaving him and moving on. Perhaps you leaving him and stop doing for him he will see that he has a problem and perhaps he will get help. Don't count on it though. I wish you the best.
2007-02-26 15:22:56 · answer #2 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is you are not powerless when it comes to his drug addiction. Tell him by not getting help he is hurt not only himself but you. If he still refuses to change then you will just have to end it and tell him you are sick of this relationship and its going no where. I know it will be hard but don't worry everything will straighten out soon! Good Luck!
2007-02-26 15:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by smiling.hearts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what your going through, i had a girlfriend that was into drugs and hid it from me for a while but i soon learned what she was doing. i confronted her and told her to stop or the result would be me leaving her. she chose to continue doing drugs so i ended our 3 year relationship. it really is the only way when people are drug abusers, all they care about is their next time to get high. sorry but you should call it quits. be honest about his problem is the cause for you ending the relationship.
2007-02-26 15:04:01 · answer #4 · answered by eric s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say I'm not in love with you anymore. That shows a pretty definitive break. Of course, there's no going back after that, but he will see just how much he's hurt you and that you're not putting up with it anymore, no matter what he does. Good for you for moving on.
2007-02-26 15:00:37 · answer #5 · answered by graybear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him exactly what you wrote in the above paragraph. You can't get much clearer than that! I applaud you for getting out of the relationship, before it goes further down hill, and takes you with it.
2007-02-26 14:58:49 · answer #6 · answered by janice 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋