32 weeks pg with #2 and in a bad relationship, what should i do?

Question

I am currently 32 weeks pg w/#2 my daughter is 2. i have been w/ their father for almost 4years. he does not physically abuse me but he does emotionally (he doesn't even know he is 1/2 the time). I am completley sick of feeling like **** and having to do everything but i'm not sure what else to do. for the past 2 years he has only worked for 1month i have had to pay all the bills, clean, take care of daughter go to school and deal w/ being pregant (orginal plan was for him to work so i could finish school-i'll greaduate in april with a ba in psych/soc-no thanx to him). i have been telling him that once the baby comes i won't have a job that he needs to do something-nothing, it is still all on me. for the 1st year of my daughters life he had a really bad drug problem-which caused a lot of built-up anger, trust issues and problems b/w us. latley he keeps going on about not wanting kids or being ready for them (which hurts me-he acts like i got pg on purpose 1st was on bc 2nd stupidity

I love him and did want to be with him but he keeps hurting me and won't do anything for us. i know he is depressed lately, but he is not thinking baout me or the kids. I don't really have anywhere else to stay either unless i was to sleep on the basement floor of my aunt/uncles house. he says he loves us and when he does interact w/our daughter it is great. but there is so many times that he ignores us or says things to me that hurts me more than anything-i ask him to think about him talling the mother of his children that he doesn't want kids-he says he doesn't mean it like that its just hes ot ready but he has had almost 3 years now (9months preg w/ 1st daught and she is now 2 to get ready).
what should i do pack up and leave with no where to go or wait for him to come to terms with whatever it is that is making him act like this.

i feel like im in love w/ someone who will never love me as much. he gets mad and screams at me b/c his friends won't come over b/c i'm there or might come home b/c i might say something or yell -based on 1year ago when he was doing things he shouldn't been doing in our house with a child -what did they expect. he calls me names in front of our duaghter she is only 2 so she doesn't understand but repeats him and says momma sad.-it breaks my heart-to have her around this situation but i don't know what else to do, i don't even like posting this b/c it is embarrassing

Answer 1

I mean if he is that bad to you and your tired of it, the option is to take a break from him and go stay with a family member or someone close to you. Heck, if it was me... I'd end up beating the sh*t out of him, if I didn't leave him.

You can't keep feeling like that, its not healthy. You should seek some sort of help, maybe counseling? Good luck. If you feel like chatting, send me a message.

Ash

Answer 2

First thing you should do is go to the welfare office (don't be embarrassed, more people go than you think) and say your hubby/boyfriend left and it's just you and your baby and get state assistance. Don't let him know about it, save the money so when they baby comes you have something to fall back on. Go live with family, if there isn't any, kick him out if he doesn't want to be an adult, call the police and get a restraining order if he bothers you. Worst case, go to a shelter and they can help you in more ways than you can imagine by getting you assistance. Emotional abuse is worse than physical. Bruises will heal, but memories stay with you forever. You are going to have another precious life to take care of and if you want to be the best mother you can be, you need to look out for your children and yourself. You can still love him and hope that he comes around, but if he doesn't then you and your kids deserve better.

Answer 3

First of all you have a lot going in your life. Congrats on baby and ba in psy. I know that it must be tuff but for your safety and your kids you need to leave. There is no guarantee that he will never lay his hands on you or the kids. You cannot be his maid and he expects you to be there for him as a slave life does not work that way. After you have the baby and when you decide to work you wil get a great job because of your degrees and you need to be a example to your children you do not want to teach them that its okay to be treated the way that you being treated and not be able to defend themselves. Just something to think about.