I met my boyfriend a year ago ....I used to weight around 140 pounds ( 5'4).....We used to have sex 3-4 times a week, now he's very indifferent with me( we are not having sex as before once a week ) I confronted him and he told me that it was because of my weight...I have gained 20 pounds
What should I do ...??? Please help me
2007-02-26 06:41:52 · 11 answers · asked by Cuqui 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to lose the excess weight. It is not healthy and it is ruining your love life.
2007-02-26 06:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him to piss off and that if he truly loved you the 20 pounds wouldn't matter. If it does then he's using you.
It's so sad that women think the amount of sex a man has with them is equal to the love he has for them. The two aren't even in the same ball park for men. Most men can have sex five times a week with a blow up doll and it be as meaningful as having sex with a real woman.
He may be saying it's your weight . . . but the bottom line is that he's grown apart from you because you aren't compatible with each other outside of the bedroom. It sounds like both of you put too much emphasis on the sexual nature of your relationship. There are couples who are happy and content in a sexless relationship because they enjoy each other's company.
He probably had a problem with your weight from the beginning but overlooked it because he wanted sex. Now he's lost interest in you beyond satisfying a sexual need once a week. If he views women as something to have sex with and no other interest in them, then he'll become more disrespectful towards you about your weight, your house keeping skills, your grooming skills etc. etc. Which I suspect you'll tolerate because you believe he loved you deeply in the beginning and will put up with the abuse because of your own insecurities about yourself and your weight. Find someone who will love you warts and all, don't settle for what's in front of you. Respect yourself!!
Sex is only 15 minutes of a relationship. Compatibility rules the other 23 hours and 45 minutes. Unhappiness can't be cured by sex.
2007-02-26 07:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by briardan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In any long term relationship there has to be a physical attraction and unfortunately he no longer says he fells that. People will criticise and say he is being shallow but face the truth if you lost the weight everyone would say you look great.
He is only saying what he fells and as do 80 % of the population whether they want to admit it or not. If my wife gained 20 pounds I wouldn't want much sex with her either sorry but is true.
2007-02-26 07:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Jenny Craig or start dating men that like overweight women.
At 160 pounds at 5'4" you are quite tubby, no wonder he doesn;t find you atractive anymore. If you really want him back, lose the weight or find someone that finds being overweight atractive.
Good luck
2007-02-26 07:13:12 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loose weight! you should do this because it's good for your health and proven to make you feel better about yourself, dump the jackass and find someone who likes you for who you are or even better re kindle relationships with some old female friends, what's the importance of always having to have a bf? there alot more to life then mediocre relationships
2007-02-26 06:48:17 · answer #5 · answered by mohvictor 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a guy who will accept you for you. I had an ex once that hated blond hair (I'm naturally blond) and wanted to "spend the rest of his life" with me but wanted me to always dye my hair because of his dislike for it. Phhbt! Forget that!
Yes, excess weight is not good for you, but he is not helping. FORGET HIM!
2007-02-26 06:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
twenty pounds is nothing what would happen if you married this clown you would gain way more than that bearing children. what would he do cheat on you . dump him you deserve better.
2007-02-26 07:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump his ***! He obviously does not love you for who you are inside! That is what matters! If he is going to be that shallow than screw him. Besides you never held it against him that he was bad in bed and never satisfied you! he he he LOL
2007-02-26 06:46:34 · answer #8 · answered by havasufem 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him!
If he doesn't like you the way you are, time to find someone who likes you for what you are no matter what.
2007-02-26 06:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by colin s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him that if he dont like u the way u r then **** off
2007-02-26 06:46:48 · answer #10 · answered by mcwhiteboy6775 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋