How do I mend my broken heart?

Question

I fell madly, completely in love for the very first time in my life with this wonderful guy months after my husband of 10 years left me for another women. I realize I never loved my husband truly after meeting this man. He was wonderful and made me feel like the most beautiful thing in the world. I can’t even describe how he made me feel. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect. On the emotional level he is my soulmate. But so many other aspects in our lives made our relationship stressful and difficult. Neither of us have been truly happy completely even though we love each other. It’s been 11 months. We had a very rough weekend and I finally left. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Even leaving my husband of 10 years was easier than this. My heart is broken. I love him with the depths of my being but I can’t live with the way our relationship was. I’ve turned my cell phone off so I can’t talk to him. I know that if I do, I will break down and go back because I do love him.

But I know that I don’t want it to continue the way it is and I am trying to be strong but my heart is hurting so bad I just want it to stop. I don’t know what to do. I can’t eat, sleep or function at work. My head tells me I am doing the right thing but my heart is saying different. We’ve both tried leaving each other on several occasions but neither of us ever could actually leave. This time I did. There are just too many issues surrounding our relationship to make it remotely normal. I thought I could handle it and I did try but I just couldn’t. I had my breaking point Saturday and Sunday I found myself packing my stuff and leaving. It was a surprise to him and to me. I never thought I would actually do it. We both have made mistakes but I don’t think we can correct them. They aren’t easy fixes. So here I am crying at work trying to pick up the pieces of my heart wondering what’s to happen now. I love him still and I don’t’ know that I will ever get over him.

Answer 1

I think that if he loves you and you love him and you both feel as if you are soulmates, then you owe it to yourself to make it work otherwise you may have let the one and only person that has ever loved you in and out get away, you will spend your life wondering if this was the alltime screwed up decision that you have ever made, you should definately not let him walk away from you ,love is a hard thing to find, some people look their whole lives and never find it , you have definately found a true person that would be devastated if you left,and so would you, so why even put yourself through it , swallow your pride like he did,and there are hurdles, but your soulmate only comes once in a lifetime, you better not let him get away, he is incredibly in love with you and you have to reach within your heart and ask yourself if you truly love him, there is where you will find your answer, also he probably would like to hear from you

Answer 2

You just have to rely on your decision that when you made it, it was the only thing to do. Don't second-guess yourself. It's normal to hurt like you're hurting now, but you WILL get through this. Keep yourself busy, and try not to think about it all the time. Do a task at work that takes full concentration to complete. Good Luck!! It will not hurt as bad, after a good night's sleep!

Answer 3

I'm sorry things didn't work out for you, but I am sure there are reasons why. Unfortunately you need to allow yourself time to grieve. See a therapist to get your feelings and issues out in the open. I bought books on this subject to reinforce my decision to move on as well. But if you really love him, is there a way you can work it out? People make mistakes and a true judge of character is someone that can learn from them to make things right. But if you are sticking with your decision, I know you have to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling until you are fine. If you can I would suggest taking some time off work to allow yourself to let all your feelings out and be with people that are close.

Answer 4

you sound all mixed up . if you feel this way and he feels the same about you you both owe it to yourselves to get a third party involved to help sort threw everything. it would be a help at this point i doubt the two of you can figure this out alone. there are many well educated people who do this for a living and have heard the same problems hundreds of times good luck

Answer 5

The key is coming to terms with it in time and moving on wiser and stronger. Make sure you learn from the experience. What was good? What was bad? How can you avoid mistakes made on both parts? I wish you the best and maybe it wont take your heart to long to mend. It also helps to have good friends to talk to..

Answer 6

e mail me and lets talk.