I have only had one other partner prior to him. I am 26. He is 32.
He always insinuates and/or slyly accuses me of doing things behind his back. In the beginning he would ALWAYS say I was cheating on him. And yes I did the same, however when his exes are always calling the house (15 months ago, not now, changed number) and he takes the calls or goes int o garage, I have a right to think something is up, right?
Fast forward to now, he still doesnt trust me at all, no matter what I do or say, so I have pretty much given up begging him to trust me and now he thinks I dont care, and I dont cause I have done nothing to make him think this. I do know that all but one (one was scitzophrenic and an alcoholic) have cheated on him (he cheated on them too) and that was before me. Could he just think that all women cheat? Why do I have pay for wat theydid to him? I am sick of it and at my wits end, he doesnt even trust me to go for coffee. How do I deal with his insecurities?
2007-02-26 06:37:28 · 12 answers · asked by Bitsy B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When my son was born he even wanted to bring him over to exes house to show off our baby...saying that it was just to show her parents (bs I think) cause when we went there (agaisnt my wishes, lots of fighting) SHE was there, he said I didnt know she would be there.
I feel like a fool actually, cause I knew she would be tere, but he kept saying how insecure I was if I didnt go.
2007-02-26 06:47:39 · update #1
He has serious insecurities and I'm sure that it has a lot to do with things that he has done with you... It's almost impossible to be with a person that doesn't trust you... You need to suggest counseling for him so that he can deal with his problems....
2007-02-26 06:43:09 · answer #1 · answered by ***Girlie Girl*** 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
In my experiences when the man constantly accuses their woman of cheating, the man is cheating. I suggest that you do 1 of 2 things. Call one of those talk shows like Maury or something saying you are always getting accused of cheating on your man and your not and you are hear to prove it today. You can prove to him that you are not cheating and get him to take a lie detector test also, if he refuses then he doesnt really love you because either he would go or he would stop accusing you. 2 Just flat out and leave him, because you are not accountable for what those other women did to him and he shouldnt of married you knowing that he was holding a grudge against the whole woman kind. Maybe if you leave him then he realize that you are not lying its just that him accusing you all the time was making you sick and was taking a toll on you. Better to love and lose then not to have loved at all, and next time you know the signs for someone thats not emotionaly ready to be involved with someone.
2007-02-26 06:48:13 · answer #2 · answered by FauxDr 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi
Usually when a person is constantly accusing you of doing something that you yourself know to be false , likely times or not he or she is guilty of doing something themselves . If there is no trust in the marriage then there is no use in staying in it .
On the flip side of things maybe he is real insecure because of his past relationships and the sad part is you are paying for the past cheating that the other women have done to him .
Ask him would he consider going to a marriage counselor to deal with his hurtful past and hopefully the two of you will be able to with time resolve the issues .
Take care and the best of luck
C
2007-02-26 07:14:42 · answer #3 · answered by Constance M 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, I would hold off on kids if you haven't had any yet. Second, in my own opinion, I would be more concerned that since he keeps pointing the finger at you, he's trying to hide what he's doing. I wouldn't be suprised if he is cheating on you. Confront him about and tell him that you won't put up with him aimlessly accusing you of cheating when you've done nothing wrong. Then call him on why he keeps accusing you, ask him "Why do you think I'm cheating on you, is it because you're cheating on me?" Taking ANY call from a female other than family in ANOTHER room is VERY suspicious. You deserve more than that. From his track record it looks like he's the one doing the cheating. Best of luck!
2007-02-26 06:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lady...you married a psycho. Ever wonder why both his exs were whck jobs? Because it takes one to know one. He apparently had cause, as well as his exs when it came to infidelity. Now that he's married to you he feels the same about you without cause. Only because he has no self esteem or obviously any trust in you because of his twisted psyche.
Either you tell him to knock off the sh*t with his accusations or he can find another woman to work his low self esteem on. Remind him that this should be hard as you're the third female he's gone through playing his chicken-sh*t head games.
2007-02-26 07:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A Liar thinks everyone is a liar
A Thief thinks everyone is a thief
A cheater thinks everyone is a cheater
You need to get on his tail and make sure he doesnt know, gather enough evidence as you can before you tell him no matter how much it hurts dont say anything until you can prove it fully!
He has problems with committment he needs to work on them, you are being accused of things like this that are actually insulting just because of his insecurities
Why dont you tell him that you want him to go with you to your exes house or a guy friends house and let him see how it feels
2007-02-26 06:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by Sal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He obviously has no trust within himself, and that is why he dont trust you. You cannot be in a relationship where there is no trust. Why did you even put up with his ex calling him, and then he is the one not trusting you, something is not right here, you need to do some looking into how faithful he is to you. YOu dont deserve him, you obviously arent happy, and you need to ask yourself is this what you really want, I say, you deserve way better!
2007-02-26 06:44:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
People aren't *THAT* paranoid, insecure and supsicious without good reason to be. I think you need to get out of denial and stop acting like you're the most innocent person in the world. Give him reasons to trust you and to feel secure and he surely will.
2007-02-26 11:27:42 · answer #8 · answered by WhooHoo! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is cheating on you and needs to turn the tables so you don't suspect him. I caught my wife, luckly before it became physical. You need to utilize your resources first! Get online and search, you'd be amazed how many tracking devices, cell phone tracking and information that is out there. It costs some $$ but would give you the satisfaction and proof.
2007-02-26 09:34:10 · answer #9 · answered by mac_attack_51 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't and you must punish yourself for his mistakes. Leave him and do not look back this man is taking you apart bit by bit. Trust is the main ingredient to a marriage!
2007-02-26 06:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋