I am really close friends with a guy who is a year younger than me. It is not a relationship, we are happy just being good friends. My problem is he used to go out with one of my best friends. He got her pregnant (she is keeping the baby) and they had a rather messy break up. I am still friends with both but my female friend isn't happy that I am still speaking to him. She is really having a go at him and making out that it is his fault, although it obviously isn't. She also keeps saying things to my guy friend along the lines of "Where's your girlfriend today then?", clearly referring to me. This has always been a joke amongst my friends because me and my guy mate are so close, but now she is taking it too far. Can anyone give me any advice? Thanks.
2007-02-26 06:32:21 · 22 answers · asked by Elaine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't want to choose between friends, because I know I would choose my guy friend (who is not gay by the way) and that would split my whole friendship group in two.
2007-02-26 06:39:04 · update #1
We have been friends for years. I knew the guy before I even met my female friend.
2007-02-26 06:49:28 · update #2
As one of my friends has recently pointed out after reading this, I didn't meet my guy friend first, but we have been friends for a similar length of time.
2007-02-27 00:40:04 · update #3
Theres no such thing as a guy friend trust me ;)
Unless hes gay...
2007-02-26 06:35:37 · answer #1 · answered by peter s 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
This is a tough one hopefully in time you friend will calm down she is obviously still very hurt. Ask her nicely not to say these things about you. If that doesn't solve it you might have to stop being friends at least for a while. Would you class this man as a best friend aswell? Try to explain to your female friend that you do not wish to choose between them. I know its hard I have had a male best friend for 8 years now and no he's not gay, some people just can't understand how men and women can just be friends. Good luck.
2007-02-26 15:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by Jo H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At some point you will have to make a choice. You ARE doing the intelligent thing by not choosing so far but if you girl friend is making the situation intolerable then I think you know what you must do... she is kinda of making you mind up for you anyway by her behaviour.
She is being kinda of silly, although I do understand her predicament - it does take two to tango...
This might also mean that she still has some feelings for her ex that she has not come to terms with???
You may want to take that up with her and ask her to deal with it - you can at least assure her that you have no intention of taking up with her ex, can't you?
Always, talk first - no change, then forget last.
Good luck.
2007-03-06 08:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you are been put in the middle of a really sticky situation and may come out been the culprit even though it really has nothing to do with you but when people are hurting or upset they always look for someone to blame. If I was you I would sit them both down and tell each of them straight I am not taking sides, even if you have your own opinion which I advise you keep totally to yourself make them both know that your friends with each of them and your not willing to play piggy in the middle to something that is there stuff not your, if they really are your friend and have respect for you then they will understand and not bring it up to you again this is also a good way of finding out where there loyalties lie when it comes to you.
2007-03-06 05:55:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're friend who is pregnant would probably appreciate some support right now.
Pregnancy is both exciting and worrying(for both prospective parents) you're male friend is being unfair as he is walking away from his responsibilities. It can be very scary realising you will be a dad when it wasn't planned.
You're female friend might just feel you should be helping her to make him see his duty of care to her and their child.
It takes two to Tango and he should accept he must make an effort. If all he did was want sex and none of the other side of a relationship(regardless of pregnancy) then maybe you should sit up and take notice, he might treat you the same if you're relationship should develop further, even if as at present that is not you're intention it could happen.
He might be a very nice guy, but he can't 'have his cake and eat it'
2007-03-04 19:50:53 · answer #5 · answered by noeusuperstate 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, if she is really your friend then she would tried to see your side. You should never have to choose between friends.It doesnt matter if the friend is a boy or girl. Friends stand behind other friends regardless of how they feel about something theirselves. Everyone has friends that maybe some of their other friends doesnt like but that shouldnt hamper a friendship. A friend should at least tried for the friendship to see the situation and tried to understand and be there regardless.
2007-03-06 12:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by nunya n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she is obviously a little insecure and not over her break-up.. also, her hormones probably arent helping much! Just ride through this with her, dont change anything you're doing, like seeing the guy friend, carry on as normal as you are not doing anything wrong, but DO try and give your girlfriend as much reassurance as possible, spend quality time with her so from now on she will focus and talk about all the good stuff you do for her, rather than picking at what hurts her. Good luck!
2007-02-26 14:38:46 · answer #7 · answered by peachesandcream 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let this silly woman with her childish behaviour interfere with your friendship with the guy. You shouldn't even let yourself be worried by whatever she does or says . She or anyone else has no right to tell you whom you should be friends with. She is most probably jealous of you getting on well with him & she couldn't. She will get tired of talking nonsense about you if you & your friend totally ignore her.
2007-03-06 08:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by MoiMoii 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have an honest chat with your female friend. Tell her how you feel and that she is being inappropriate. You may loose her as a friend, but it doesnt' sound like she is that great of a friend to treat you like crap in the first place.
2007-02-26 14:37:38 · answer #9 · answered by Summer H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly talk to her, try to make her understand that you are just friends, if she cant understand that, then figure out which one you care about more, and only be friends with the one..but try to work things out to her, let her know how important he is as a friend to you, if she doesnt understand then what kind of friend is she.
2007-02-26 14:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by lil_luman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to choose between friends.
2007-02-26 14:37:28 · answer #11 · answered by The Central Scrutinizer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋