I want it always, she wants it never. I try to tend to her needs, take care of the kids, rub her feet, do the dishes, get up in the night if the kids need me, had a vasectomy so she wouldn't have to go through any more pain. Seems like every other day would be reasonable; half the time we do what she wants (no sex) half the time what I want. Is this unreasonable?
2007-02-26 05:56:31 · 23 answers · asked by Killer B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have been doing what she wants for seven weeks.
2007-02-26 05:57:09 · update #1
Ahhhhh! Seven weeks? That's no good! Man, I'll bet your right hand is strong!!!
Seriously, you need to just talk to her in the same manner you just told us. She wouldn't be able but to see your side of it.
To answer your question, at least twice a week.
2007-02-26 06:16:15 · answer #1 · answered by Ari A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just a thought, maybe she feels she's not pretty anymore after having children. I know that when we had our kids, it changes a womans body and sometimes we can get a little TOO self concious about that. And so we don't have sex. And if she is over tired. If she doesn't feel special to you anymore. These are all things that can happen to woman after she has children.
Maybe try getting her away from the kids and the house. Sometimes we just need a change of scenery. And definitely NO KIDS!!
It's really hard to feel SEXY when the chance of Kids coming in the room any minute is definitely possible.
Also, telling her that she is so sexy to you will help. And not just when you are in the bed. And without being overboard and all that. Just say it softly in her ear and then walk away.
Point out special parts of her body that you like.
Also, it's important to a woman to feel special to you to feel sexy. I mean on an emotional and spiritual level. Not just physical.
If you want physical from a woman, then you have to find out what makes her tick. What really makes her happy. And then take her there or do that with her. Without it being a special occasion or anything.
For instance, if she always wanted to be a dancer, take her to a dance company presentation. Or take her dancing, even if you don't like it. It will make her feel special. Then take her to an inexpensive motel for the night and see what happens.
You make all the arrangements, for the kids and everything. This will impress her that you took time to do this.
Most men only want to romance their wife if it takes a minute to do it.
But, if you want her to get freaky with you, you will have to do more than that.
Show her you are the prince she thought you were. Let her be free to be her old sexy self. And she can't do that if she's in the same old house, with the same old mess and the kids in the background. She needs to go somewhere else. Maybe.
And then after, you can transfer that to the house. Have a regular person that you can have take the kids at least once a month. And then plan something at the house for romance.
Surprise her. It will take time, and don't expect her to want it 24/7 just from one or two little "dates". But over time, she will start to feel sexy again, and less tired when she knows that you are willing to take that extra time and steps to make a special. Then you can start talking about "quickies" and things like that to make it more often.
Also, just telling her you would like it more. And that you want to make her feel special and not just for the sex, but, because sex makes you feel more bonded to her.
Communication is key. If you can't talk it out, then no matter what you do, it won't work as effectively. Just try talking to her first. Tell her how it feels to you when she says NO.
Talk to her about your feelings of rejection and that you are just wanting to be closer to her.
Talk talk talk!!!! It's the best way to solve it.
Good luck!!!!
2007-02-26 14:44:02 · answer #2 · answered by Harley Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you're doing everything right but she's still not interested. Are there any issues that are pissing her off? A lot of times there is built up resentments and they will definitely interfere with sex. If she doesn't let you know, you'll never get to the bottom of it. Also, are you making sure she is having her sexual needs met? If so,
this doesn't sound like an unreasonable compromise.
It's pretty common to have differences in sexual desire. I hope for both of your sakes that you can agree on this. This is a HUGE issue.
2007-02-26 14:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dunno dude, sounds like you two are not very compatible. If you want it every day, you really need to find a woman who wants it every day. There's no magic number as to how often a couple should do it; I agree with you that, ideally, the two should meet in the middle if their needs are different. But I think for someone who has no drive, every other day would be way to often, and this would turn them off altogether. Being that you can't exactly make someone have sex when they don't want to - but they can make you NOT have it - you will allways be fighting an up-hill battle if your drives are significantly different.
2007-02-26 14:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think it all depends on the couple. She sounds a little selfish to me... tell her you want to have sex more. Ask if there is anything you can do to help put her in the mood. And try new things (lubes, porn, new positions, toys, etc)
My husband and I have sex almost every day. We change it up to keep things interesting. We just discovered KY 2-in-1 Warming Lubricant (it's great, you should get it).
2007-02-26 14:09:40 · answer #5 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1-7 times a week
2007-02-26 14:01:00 · answer #6 · answered by wrfab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple should be having sex with one another at lease 9 times a week.
2007-02-26 14:04:02 · answer #7 · answered by cornbread3604 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look...If she doesn't want to have sex, don't convince her into it. A woman has her days...All men get aroused more often than females (If you didn't know!) Want to know a secret? IGNORE SEX! That's right...Ignore it. Make believe your not interested in being intimate, don't talk about it, don't give any signals or signs....She'll start to worry/wonder and perhaps feel aroused after such a long time...Trust me, it works magic.
2007-02-26 14:30:30 · answer #8 · answered by A Real Love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 to 3 times a week, all that is cool what you're doing. But where is the intimacy?
2007-02-26 14:01:25 · answer #9 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you really doing all of those things or did you just type that to make it seem like you are a good hubby??? Just kidding. Maybe your wife is having female issues...did you ask her about that?
2007-02-26 14:05:42 · answer #10 · answered by KokoQueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋