Separated 3 weeks now. Husband has rented a new house for himself. Yesterday our children started their first week staying with him. We live in the same town just 10 minutes apart. Children will continue with same friends, same schools, etc. I am torn, I will miss them so much--but I feel they should spend equal time with both of us. Husband has always been a great father to them. (except leaving our 22 yr marriage for another woman) Husband agrees too, after some consideration. I too am a child of divorced parents, however in my day we stayed with mom and visited dad on vacations, holidays, etc. Times are different now. Our children are 12 and 15. The 12 year old is fine with it, the 15 yr old has some resentment towards what he has done to me, but is "o.k." with it too.
2007-02-26 04:57:45 · 9 answers · asked by just breathing 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think going to a different house every other week is good for them. They need to know where home is. I would rather see you let them visit their dad whenever they want for the evening but they come home to their own room and bed each evening.
Good luck!
2007-02-26 05:01:58 · answer #1 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could never stand divorces where "hate " became the main issue. So many people try to make thier kids hate the other parent. I think your idea is great as long as both parents want the kids. Alot of times, a marriage is breaking up because one or the other parent does not want the kids. In your case, it sounds like an amenable situation. No major changes are involved as changing schools. It will be hard to get used to and yes, you will be lonesome. Now would be the time to focus on yourself, do things that you want to do and dont stay stuck in why your marriage flopped. Join groups and take classes that you have not had time for in the past. You will be amazed at how many new people and new ideas will come into your life. And dont ask your kids about the "other woman." They will have a tough time with this issues all by themselves.
2007-02-26 05:11:51 · answer #2 · answered by juncogirl3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and his ex have been doing the alternating weeks since their kids have been 10 and 12. The kids are ok with it, in fact they suggested it. They are now 14 & 16. Before the weekly visits, They had it set up so that the kids were with mom Mon, tues, and every other Fri, Sat, Sun. And then they would stay with us Wed, Thurs, and every other Fri, Sat, Sun. That worked ok, but now we don't have to do so much trading days here and there. So It works for us.
2007-02-26 05:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At those ages it should really be up to them where they are living. Make sure both parents are on the same pages with curfew, style of dress allowed, friends, where they hang out, and homework.
If they were younger I'd say one would have to be the main and the other the weekender until a routine and basic morals have been established.
DO NOT let the kids know the whole truth and nothing but...its best if they sill respect and love you both for their selfesteem sake.
Oh, and my husband left me for another woman...KEEP BREATHING is correct.
2007-02-26 05:02:17 · answer #4 · answered by HollyBean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids will come through this ordeal. It will take time and a show of support from both parents. Just be there to answer any questions they may have and separate adult matters from stuff that directly involves them.
2007-02-26 05:24:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know folks who do this. As long as the parents don't try to pit the children against the other parent, I see no problem. You and your ex will have to discuss issues so that you have a common front when it comes to school work, nights out etc.
Good Luck!
2007-02-26 05:04:19 · answer #6 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that both parents have been raising them, both parents should continue raising them. I too lived in same town as ex, he had unlimited visitation with our children. we attend family get togethers with our children, birthdays and holidays. we are all civil. our children are grown and we have grandchildren, we are always working at being functional parents and grandparents.
Kudos to you!!!! You deserve better then what your ex was giving you. one day you will realize that. Good luck!!!!
2007-02-26 05:16:40 · answer #7 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way it could be, some only know one of their parents and wish they knew the other
2007-02-26 05:03:21 · answer #8 · answered by Tha Man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your lucky lets say....my parents are divorced and i havent seen my dad in 8 months since he kicked my mom and i out...i would say let your kids stay with there dad...they need one
2007-02-26 05:02:52 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋