Afraid To Be Alone - Husband Beginning to Travel - how to cope?

Question

Ok, I'm a very happily married woman and I love my family more than anything in the world....so not leud comments please....

But, I have a horrible fear of being alone and thus far in my marriage I have been blessed to not have to be (5 years) But, now...my hubby might have to start traveling for work and I am terrified. i've even been pleading with him to not take a good promotion because of it (like that makes any sense!!)

So, to all of you fellow co-dependant women out there, and even the completely independant ones, how do you cope with being alone. How do you keep fear at bay in the depths of the night? How do you keep your mind entertained so as not to have the time drag by.

Thanks in Advance.....be kind to me please :)

Sorry, I forgot to add this earlier.

We have two kids. One of which has a sever mental disability which inhibits me from getting out and we don't have sitters b/c of our oldest child.....

So running away from home or doing outside activities isn't possible....that's one reason i am so scared of being alone. I'll be trapped without anyone to help me or anyone to talk to.

Answer 1

At least you are able to tell someone your feelings.When my husband started driving truck over the road..We lived out in country and had 4 kids at home.
I was terrified..but didn't want anyone to know so I suffered in silence. I decided I'd make a game with my kids ( so they didn't know I was scared to be by myself.) I started letting them sleep in bed with me..lol 4 kids in your bed left little room to feel alone. We would camp in so to speak. And I got a dog...A big dog....He stayed in the house and slept in our room at night.
After many weeks,I would get more comfortable with being by myself. I started letting the bigger kids sleep in there own bed again and soon they were all in there own rooms.But the dog stayed and slept on the bed with me.Sometime I would invite one of my sisters or friends over for movie night...Coffee,doughnuts and a comedy....You get use to it after awhile but you still don't like it.. Honest --- it will be ok.....

Answer 2

First off, don't fear your fear. You are not the only one who has a hard time being alone.
Develop a habit of reading at night. Choose interesting but not scary books.
Get a pet. There's nothing like a loving dog (or a loving cat) to cuddle up with. The dog will also give you a sense of protection.
Finally, KNOW that you are NEVER alone. We are made of the 'stuff of stars'. Every element in the human body began as star matter, and thus we are all connected, even in a material fashion.
There is also a common spirit which enlivens all that exists, and this is IN you and WITH you, not somewhere 'out there'.
Even IF you get some stupid answers here from cruel people, know that there are many of us who feel empathy with you.

Answer 3

I feel you. I have the same problem. I hate being alone. The thought of it scares the shi t out of me. My husband just started bouncing on the weekend nights. I have a small apartment and a 6 month old baby but when the baby goes to sleep, that's it, my imagination starts running and running and running. I have an inherited cat through marriage. I'm really not a cat lover so I don't cuddle with him or anything. He scares me even more by jumping around the house. I can't really give you advice but just thought I'd share so don't think there is anything wrong because when I'm home alone, I sometimes feel like I'm flipping out, that's how crazy I start thinking. Good luck with the advice. I'm going to read it also.

Answer 4

Independent woman here. I lived alone for almost 15 years...and loved every minute of it. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. No other schedule to concern me. Now that I'm married, I look for opportunities to have the house to myself...all night, if possible.

When I hear you say you are afraid to be alone, I immediately assume you have an over active imagination...and fear for your safety. If this is the case, you have a false sense of security...as anything horrible that could happen when you are alone could also happen when your husband is there.

My suggestion is for you to get a dog...a big one. That helps make you feel more secure. And also, plan some wonderful 'ME TIME'. Rent some great chick flicks...give yourself a night of pampering. Things you wouldn't do with your husband there. It really is a wonderful treat...you just have to adjust your attitude and thinking...and enjoy the time you have to yourself!

Answer 5

You have abandonment issues so start to confront them, also you may end up alone by driving your hubby crazy over your issue when he's out and about, you must find some hobbies to do, ie: Photography(so you can e-mail pic to him), learn to cook foods he's never had and he will enjoy that, get in better shape so every time he leaves he will see a new you over time, read,read,read, have something to talk about besides nagging him about being alone, MOST guys will love these changes, look at your strengths and kick you weaknesses with your strengths.

Answer 6

Try getting together with friends more often and just try to keep busy. Maybe get in an aerobics class. Or you can just start smoking pot (lol).

Answer 7

Buy a dog. You will have to care and think about him and not your fears and you won't be completely alone.

Answer 8

You can travel too!