I have a friend that I have been friends with since middle school. We have a history together. We are both bi. I have feelings for him even though I know things can never be. He is engaged He talks to me about girls he sees around and I dont get mad. But he mentions a guy looking at him or hitting on him,i feel angry and hurt. Its like I tell him, everytime we are together and/or do special things i worry that it could be the last, that he will replace me. i tell him i can never replace him. he knows how i feel and doesnt mind just as long as i accept that we can be no more than friends. we talked about it a long time ago. i said i was find and that there were no feelings. scared i would push him away. so i ask if he knew then what he knows now would we not be the way we are? he says no, but hes glad he didnt. he claims i wont be replaced and he's not tired of me. just weird feeling and wondering what i should do, think, or say to him. dont know if being immature or annoying.
2007-02-26 04:43:09 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
i understand that he doesnt want a romantic relationship. i dont know what my problem is. i just love what we have and sometimes i feel that i give and give and get nothing back. i dont think there is an alteriormotive. if there is he might think its sex. i just need peace of mind knowing that i am the only guy he does things with.. sounds weird but theres more to it.
2007-02-26 04:59:47 · update #1
Yea i know.. it just took some time to think about it. we straightened things out. i guess maybe he's the closest thing i have really ever had to someone caring about me.. just told him that if he is doing things with other people other than me and his gf just let me know so if i come down with something i know who and why. i realized that in order for someone to care about me i have to care about myself. i am one of those people that needs peace of mind. i have my peace of mind now. i'm learning everyday. it was infatuation. the desire for something i've never really had. damned if you do, damned if you don't. maybe some of you can relate , some can't. it's an odd relationship but i wouldn't trade it for the world.
2007-02-28 07:40:00 · update #2
He made it clear he doesnt watn a romantic relationship, it sounds like. So if u r bein his freind make sure there i s not a ulteriror motive for bein his freind ( like hopin its going to turn into something) . if u can be his freind and move on from the romantic feeligns and try to get over them. i think thats the most important thing. cause you said yourself that he said " he doesnt mind as long as I accept that we can be no more than friends"
2007-02-26 04:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by lady26 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand you. I know its hard to talk about things. But I think ur friend is feeling the same way as ur feeling for him. May be unconsciously u did the same thing with him and he really felt bad and he wanted u to realise how it feels thats the reason he is doing like that.
I think u should have a open talk it will solve things. Say how u feel abt him I know its really hard to do but u cant do anything else.
tell him that u feel jealous and ask for an honest reply to him behaviour and maybe things will solve out then.
All the best!
2007-03-01 06:13:11 · answer #2 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry and i don't mean to sound harsh with you honestly, but you seem to have put to much empathise on this guy it's obvious he is never going to get with you romantically. Also it is up to him if he looks at other guys he isn't doing it to make you feel angry or hurt he can look where he pleases it is up to him isn't it? Your not being immature thats just how you feel don't beat yourself up about it but seriously you need to try to put a stop to your infatuation with him it is not healthy for you stays friends but move on all the best :)
2007-02-27 02:37:08 · answer #3 · answered by clare w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get out there and spend time with other people, i know you said you know it will never amount to a romantic relationship but it sounds to me like your still hanging onto the fact that one day it might be, your putting far too much thought into this friendship you should judt be enjoying what time you do spend with him and stop worrying.Your constant worrying may push him away.
2007-02-26 13:13:19 · answer #4 · answered by Izzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't discuss this any further with him. He has made his feelings clear. Any jealousy or unease you feel, you should keep to yourself. It's seems clear to me that he DOES want you as a friend and will always want you as a friend. If you continue to 'push' him, though he WILL get tired of it.
Put the past in the past and continue with a good friendship.
Hope that helps.
2007-02-26 12:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIVE IT SOME TIME,YOU ARE SPENDING ALL YOUR ENERGY ON THIS.
2007-02-26 12:50:54 · answer #6 · answered by roll tide 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋