Help.....I need out!!?

Question

I need out of my relationship. I can't deal with his anger anymore. I am afraid of him (he has never hit me or anything). He sleeps in every morning and goes to bed at 3 or 4am. He doesn't interact with our 2 kids.....unless it is to scream at them (well just my son, as my daughter is only 7 months). He wakes up and refuses to talk to me and slams and bangs things in the house. He yells at me on a daily basis just for asking a simple question. Or he will just ignore me like I don't exsist. I am supposed to start Dermatology school next month and it is important for me to do this so I can have a career (i am 23 years old). He is way older at 38 years old and just acts so immature. I figured he would of grown up by now. I believe he is bipolar and needs help. I told him I can find someone so he can get on meds to mellow him out. But he screams at me that I have depressio and need help. I do have depression and plan to get on meds.....but he needs serious help! I

I need to leave this relationship and now!!! But I still need to go to school. How can I do this with no job? I will get a part-time job as my schooling is full-time. Schooling is so important as when I graduate I will make $150,000 a year to $200,000 a year. I will be able to provide for both my kids and have a house. So what should I do??? How can I leave him, go to school, get childcare, get a part-time job, and have a place to live???? I feel like I may have to stay with this mean guy as I have no were to go. Please HELP!!!

Answer 1

if you stay with him can you see urself coping with your school course and family life aswell with ll the stress that he causes you! you need to get out of this relationship he does not deserve you! have you got ur parents house you could go bak to untill you can get things sorted? if you speak to the school they will be able to give you lots of advice on child care and also managing ur time around your work and home life! you can do it, and you will do it much better without that man in ur life draggin you down!

good luck!

Answer 2

Geese he sounds a little off. Does he drink or do drugs that you know of? My first suggestion is to "try" to get him to seek counseling. You should be seeking counseling yourself. Sistercare has a great program! You cant imagine how empowering that will make you feel. It will also allow you to cope with his harsh behavior. Nothing like someone putting you down when youre trying your best. You didnt mention anything about your family. If you are not able to move in with them or any other family member, then seek some kind of women shelter. Abuse does not always come in the form of physical but also mentally. No matter what, stick with school youre going to need it! Do not let him talk you out of it or try to belittle you. Good luck

Answer 3

Think seriously about this- do you love him? If you were to take away all the anger, do you love the person he is? It sound to me like he is suffering from depression as anger can be one of the ways it comes out in men-- it was for me. My wife was able to be very tender with me and help point out the affect I was having on our kids-- I never hit them but sometimes they got scared-- I couldn't control it. Find some way to not raise his anger and help him get the help he needs. It's ok to seek professional help for depression- it makes you more of a man to want to fix the issues and allow yourself to face the world with confidence and pride. I missed my family when I was depressed and now I feel much closer to them all. I am still on meds and seeing a psychologist, but I am far closer to the true me than I was, and I love my wife more now for helping me than ever before. Good Luck!

Gosh, I am glad that people here seem able to immediately label someone a jerk without knowing him. Everyone has troubles and needs help at some point in their lives. While I do not agree that you should put up with abuse, and if he EVER hits you or the kids-- call the cops and leave! Ask him if he feels he really is yelling at you, and cite examples if he says no. If you love him and want to be with him, then don't just give up when he is struggling, don't walk out-- it may be extremely hard, but ask yourself if he's worth it. There is a really good article in Reader's Digest about male depression (http://www.readersdigest.ca/mag/2001/02/disease.html) , see if you can get him to read that. Before I found out I had depression, I was ready to walk out myself- I thought I was a jerk too-- walking away is the easy route, fighting for him even when he won't is hard.

Answer 4

calm down, whew, this guy is a total jerk.
U got to stay calm and cool and plan in your mind your quick escape.
While he is at work, slowly pack stuff up.
Call a sister or relative to help u move out and stay with them until u file for divorce and get child support.
Make sure u have his social security number on hand, so u can
get child support easy.
Get out of this relationship fast. He will pay dearly cause his wages will be garnished by the state.
U may want to go to social services and get help til u get on your feet.
they will help u with daycare, school and all.
He could get worser, so stay calm and keep a bible verse in your mind.He is totally under an evil spell, just pray and get out safely for yours and the childrens sake.

Answer 5

I'll bet that once you leave this loser your depression will all but disappear.

It's the most difficult decision and the easiest thing to do to leave an abusive jerk like him.

Just pack your stuff and the kids stuff and GO!! He is emotionally abusive and refuses to do anything about it. Get out NOW!!