Everything was going well. Obviously our sex life slowed down a bit but, not like this. We went from having sex about 1 time a week (during first and second trimester) to like hardly ever now. First he told me he was scared of hurting her so we talked to the doctor together. I thought that hearing that it was ok for us to go ahead, things would change but, it hasn't. He says I wouldnt understand when I ask him about it. I've asked if it was my size that turns him off, he says no and that I'm more beautiful now that i"m carrying our baby. OK!?
We went and had a 3d/4d scan done and I kinda feel like maybe seeing her face made it somehow "Real" to him?
It hurts that he wont make love to me. I know it's more difficult then it was before and we cant do all the things we once did. He is affectionate and we do show each other physical love and affection but, sometime I just want that extra closeness. Any suggestions?
2007-02-26 03:52:46 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Tell him all the reasons, emotional and physical, why you need to keep the intimacy going. It really will help you feel better, aiding in blood circulation and alleviating retained water, which makes your back hurt. While Kegals are really what you need to do, tell him that you need help working out the muscles you will be stretching the hell of during child birth. Men sometimes do better when they have a mission to accomplish!
2007-02-26 04:10:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I went through this with my second child who is now 3 months old. With our daughter I didn't want to have sex I don't know why I just wasn't interested, but with my son I wanted it all of the time. Once I got to about 30 weeks or so my husband didn't want to have sex either. He always said he was "tired". It made me think that I was unattractive and that he had found someone else. I was even put on bed rest and then that gave him a reason not too. I had to have my OB tell him it was ok but that still didn't change anything. My advice is just let him know how it makes you feel. Even though he may not be trying to make you feel this way he is. I don't know what you can do. If he doesn't want to have sex it could be that he is scared despite what anyone says. I hope things go better. I am sorry I could offer better advice.
2007-02-26 04:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by h05ellasmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how many people tell him that it is safe, if he feels uncomfortable, then nothing can change that.
Seeing her face has probably made him all the more self conscious and whilst he adores you in your pregnant form, he can't put aside his feelings of discomfort.
There really isn't a quick fix here. Looks like you'll have to do some compromising- understand his feelings now, and know that after birth, there will be a time when you won't want sex and will seek his understanding.
I know it's difficult, but you do have to wait until the two of you are ready.
2007-02-26 04:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Guys just dont understand, they are not the ones going through this. I dont even know if they know how to explain their feelings when it comes to something as complexed, complicated, frustrating, beautiful, and happy as this. Maybe he just thinks its weird that your own kid is in there and he just cant take the thought of having sex when the baby is in there. He might think that is strangly perverted to have sex infront of his own kid. You never know with guys. They like this experience but it is still strange to them.
2007-02-26 04:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Been there...and it really sucked. There's no way you can convince him, he's obviously just hung up on the idea. Enjoy each other in the ways you're both comfortable with and hang on...it's only a few more months. It's not that you're not attractive anymore...he really means it when he says how beautiful you are!
2007-02-26 03:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by the beet 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Alot of men go through what your boyfriend is going through right now. Don't worry...try to understand where he is coming from. Snuggle...you can still have intimacy without sexual intercourse. Is he still being affectionate in other ways? If so, don't worry to much with it right now. If he continues after the baby is born you might want to go for some counseling.
2007-02-26 03:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by getrd2go 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't tell us tell him how you feel and let him know you need more closeness, may be after he saw the baby he might be afraid to hurt it by making extra sex with you ...just ask him and find out!
good luck !
2007-02-26 03:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by Stan 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you talked to him in depth about this? He may not understand how you're feeling. And during pregnancy your emotional health is just as important as your physical health. If you let him know that his unknowing rejection hurts you he may change is mind. I wish you all the luck.
2007-02-26 03:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by *Melissa* 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Please do not be offended by my answer, but honestly from a man's point of view, men are visual creatures. He loves you and wants to be able to please you completely. Your body, though holding a GOD given treasure, does not turn him on enough to get mentally into the act. Please be patient with him, you only have 6 weeks left and trust me after you have your blessed event , you might not want him to touch you again!! As men, we could never dream of hurting the one we love, so to be honest enough to tell you this, scares the hell out of him!! Don't take it in a negative frame of mind, trust me, once you heal, and get back to your normal size, he's has a SURPRISE for you, (but make sure it doesn't put you back at week 1) get the hint?? Oh Yea--- CONGRADULATIONS ON YOUR CHILD--BE BLESSED!!
2007-02-26 04:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by Senses 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you cant push him. i know what you are going through. i think it just spooks them to know there is a living thing inside and somehow they just cant grasp its ok. you should start trying to seduce him. once he sees its ok, and its not going to hurt the baby, things will get better. give it time.
2007-02-26 03:59:07 · answer #10 · answered by amana5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋