Yesterday (Sunday) my x-wifes husband died. I feel aweful and have mixed emotions. He was the man that cheated with my wife some 10 years ago. We had 3 children all under 18 at the time, she also had 1 child with him 6 years ago. My x-wife did every dirty trick in the book to me including bring false charges of physcial abuse during our divorce, the man she was having the affair with lived next door, she married him 3 days after our divorce. She insisted the kids call him dad and me by my first name, that didn't last long. I did get cusody of 2 of my children, their marriage was horrible, filled with huge fights and nearly divorce several times. This man hated me, but I know his hate was because he was so lied to by my x-wife, even in this past year she told him I was coming on to her and begging her to come back to me, he would call me up and yell and scream, no matter how much I told him that this wasn't true, he believed her. My x-wife loved to cause problems and keep his jealous.
2007-02-26 03:02:09 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nothing could be further from the truth. I still have bad dreams that I'm still married to her. I am happily married. With all this I still feel horrible for him and even her, my son and their little boy age 6.
Any advise...thanks
2007-02-26 03:03:46 · update #1
Oh wow, just stay calm and dont get too emotional.
Looks like you been through hell and back with this woman.
Maybe its best to just everyone get along, and dont have hard
feelings, just pray about it.
You have your own life with your new wife, so let the ex wife
handle hers.
Be kind but not over supportive or you may make your new wife
jealous.
2007-02-26 03:09:20 · answer #1 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Focus on your kids and don't forget your kids have a 1/2 sibling. Include the 6 year old because the child did nothing wrong!
Sounds like the kids will need a stable parent! Be that for the children's sake and the dead husband will smile on you from heaven!
2007-02-26 03:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by maj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel awful? You should feel good riddance and move on. Life is too short to dwell on someone else's sorry life. Yoy also need to move on from your ex's life. This is only causing you to carry a lot of excess baggage. Like I said, life is too short. You should learn to enjoy as much of it as possible. Now you have thorn in your side removed, so get out there and start enjoying your life. When your ex calls, don't take the call, or tell her your busy and you'll call her back. And then don't call her back. She'll get the message.
2007-02-26 03:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by DeadBambi H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's fine to feel bad for everyone involved, but the only thing you can do is be there for the children. Considering how manipulative your ex wife is, it's probably best to avoid her. You can show your respect by going to the funeral, sending flowers and a sympathy card. Be available if your kids need to talk.
2007-02-26 03:13:36 · answer #4 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal to feel guilty although you didn't do anything to this guy and there's nothing you can do to bring him back. It's sad (for the kids and his family) but try to let go of the guilt. Guilt serves the purpose of keeping us from making the same mistakes over and over. You didn't do anything that could have changed this outcome. Karma's weird though, isn't it (he wasn't a saint was he?)
2007-02-26 03:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This says to me that you are a decent empathic human being who is capable of feeling goodness despite the awful things you endured. The goodness within you allows you to feel pain for those you love (your children) and those you loved (your ex). Many would only feel vengence at this point and a twisted relief that he's gone. If you feel it's appropriate you could send flowers or a card to your ex and their family.
2007-02-26 03:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by the beet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness! Well listen a lot of stuff seems to be happening right now. What does your heart tell you. You are allowed to feel bad for her even if you didn't necessarily like him or her. Any feeling is OK to have. Wether that's hatred, torn, sad lonely whatever. You a very good man to feel awful for a lady who has done all this to you.
2007-02-26 03:08:58 · answer #7 · answered by skalkosa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say it is nice to hear a person with compassion for another even when that person has done evil towards you. I think it is good to forgive and it sounds like you have. Hate will only eat you alive. It takes a big person to do this. Keep up the good work. You are setting a good example for your children.
2007-02-26 03:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by JAN 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd feel a little sorry that the guy died, and a lot sorry for him because he had to live with someone that sounds like a real witch. I'd feel more sorry for the kid he left behind. Then I'd just move on with my life, and hope that when your kids are 18, you never have to deal with their mother again.
2007-02-26 03:06:31 · answer #9 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for their child. I am sorry for her too. I am sure you have forgiven her long ago, but don't forget. Life has taught her a hard lesson. Your only obligation here is to be respectful to the mother of your children, and send your condolences.
2007-02-26 03:12:08 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋