What Can I Do To Not Become a Victim to Sexual Abuse Again?

Question

I'm just ganna come out and say it...
I was raped when I was 5 by my gradpa, Gang raped when I was 12, Almost raped when I was 16 and then again two nights ago. This guy the other night just started working where I do and he said we had to help anouther guy salk milk. When I went into the milk cooler I asked what we needed. He shut the door and grabbed me I FROZE. I have no self defence and I just get so scared. Ive been to Conselling, it helps and then right when I think im good to go it happenes again. I hate this. What do i do? Who can i talk to? I told the mannager but... yeah. Im constantly looking over my shoulder. Im scared and it really shows. Can anyone help me Im 17 and this is getting to bad and hurtfull.

Answer 1

Hugs to you young lady!!!!
first of all you need to learn defense mechanisms. self defense, how to not put yourself in vulnerable positions/places, a buddy, good counceling, you should have reported it to the police.

Answer 2

Don't talk to the manager, talk to the cops. At the very least it's assault.

Counseling is good, and it will help you get over the victim state of mind (poor me, I am doomed, it'll always be that way blablabla...). Once you get out of your "prey" state of mind, you will see things differently.

Self-defense classes can help. Not your average YMCA "just say NO real loud" type, go for the dirty stuff. I taught self-defense to women who work in potentially dangerous jobs (prison, psychiatric wards and such) and frankly, the kick in the balls is over rated. Plus if the guy is drunk or stoned, chances are he won't feel a thing. Find a self-defense class where you will be taught what works. How can you know that? If you feel repulsed by what they teach you, it's probably effective (ripping a guy's lips with your teeth when you are in a bear hug works wonder!). There is a (very bad) movie with Jennifer Lopez (Enough) where she is taught Krav Maga for self-defense, it's the only part of the movie which is remotely interresting and it's a good indication of what actual self-defense is.

Oh, and report your Grandpa, you gotta break the circle.

Answer 3

I understand exactly the position the counseling is the first and best defense KEEP GOING I know the counseling is to establish trust in man so you can live your life as normally and done unfearfully as possible and yet, you keep running in to these cretins who are making that impossible, all I can say is I believe in god and you must be a good person who has some belief in liffe that humanity is basically decent these tribulations are from something (or someone--- Satan) trying his best to destroy the humanity tthat exisits inside of you I" pray for you and you pray to jesus he really is a source of comfort if you are turning tio an advice internet chat rooom you need more comfort seeki it from God and also go to group counseling with other rape victims this would be helpful in resolving some of this may God be with you and keep your head up--- I had a friend who went through the EXACT same experiences same situations except the third time she got raped by one of her friend's step father and she has not done nothing no counseling not much prayer and she is essed up she does drugs and drinks and is bisexual because she does not like nor trust men so help yourself now before it is too late there are still some good people even men read Psalm 22 and 31 God Bless

Answer 4

I know how you feel cause Ive been where you are so many time and in this day and time it happens constantly to everyone but most of the time people just brush it off or dont tell a soul. First you need to find someone you can truely talk with about what your feeling on the inside and how this has truely affected you cause from past experience I'll let you know that this will be an emotional problem you will deal with for the rest of your life and noticing what bad effects this has had on you and your relationships in your life and your future can help you deal with this alittle better. I have very bad commentment issuse and I still deal with sexual harassment too. I'm 23 and learning myself how to deal with what has happened to me and everyday is a new day to over come and become stronger from my past.

Answer 5

wow...if the manager is no help, then perhaps its time for a new job. Did u report the guy to the police?
I think u really need to learn self defense too...never be a victim!
Even if it's stomping on his toes or knee in the groin..anything to get away and stick with the counciling, youre on the rght track..
are your parents aware of all this? Are they helping you at all?
Also, try a support group for abused and battered women.. you aren't alone in this many more feel your pain. You can help each other..

Answer 6

You need to learn some self defense techniques. Being aware of your surroundings is good, but you need to know how to defend yourself also. Look around for some classes through adult education or the YMCA or the Parks and Recreation dept, they should be affordable. Even some martial arts schools, like Karate and Tai Kwon Do, would help you feel more secure.

Answer 7

Yes, therapy does help, but is there somewhere you can go to take some self defense courses to protect yourself, or maybe a few classes to help you to detect the signs of it possibly going to happen again so you can get yourself out of the situation. Classes on being aware of things around you. Ask a therapist about possible such classes.

Answer 8

The link that Brittany posted is really helpful... Once you experience something so tragic then you shouldnt want to expose yourself to that hurt again. walk with your head up. Always keep your "game" face on! Better yet the "dont f*ck with me look" Then again someone may want to try you. Keep mace, a blade, and always walk with someone. Also, do take those self defense courses! Continue to get couseling. Watch what you say to others, what you wear can also attract the wrong attention.

Answer 9

Look, I'm not saying any of this was your fault, but some people give off a "victim" vibe. They seem extra vulnerable, and evil people take advantage of that weakness. Take some self defense classes, get more counseling and gain some confidence that you have a measure of control in these situations.

Answer 10

It seems once a victim always a victim doesn't it. My best advice, don't act like a victim. Hold your head up high and walk with confidence. If you look weak, you will get taken advantage of.
{Its like the lion gets the elk with the broken leg}
Take some self esteme and defence classes too. You need to build your confience. Good luck to ya. :)

Answer 11

omg! poor thing kk if you show your fear thats an advantage for tha rapist so you should fight back dont be afraid to stand up 4 yourself (you should build up your confidence) try a self defence class or something oya and you really should kick tha guy in tha ballz if someone else trys that again. plus you should like charge tha guy for sexual assult doing nothing about it will only make things worse do it now b4 u get KILLED!