how do you know when your mom is jealous of your new marraige?

Question

iam 32 i just got married in may of last year. my husband and
i just bought a home so we finally moved into our new house early
last week. before i was staying at home with my parents until
we got our home. my mom did not want my husband to move
into her house with me (his wife) and his mother did not want
me to move into her house with him. my mother has not
congradulated me on getting married, when i first go my ingagement ring she never said it was prettey not even nice,
she is always asking me questions about what time my husband
gets off of work. she gave me no wedding present and everytime
she talks to me it something negitive about my husband but it starts of as how dirty and no good men are and how they will
cheat on you and how i should not depend on my husband and
tell him everything and why do i have to listen to him and all
that stuff. but i should just jump and listen to her and go against
my husband. iam tired of listing to her about my husband! what is it?

Answer 1

Frankly speaking, I'm not against you but sometimes but the thing is, you just have to ponder about these things and be realistic. Not to mention that your marriage is new and it's slightly hard to see someone's good qualities too soon. Be optimistic and remain calm in handling difficulties and making decisions.



If your mother had some problems with your father, you should know why is it she quite dislike your husband. Basically, most of the women tend to hate guys without obvious reasons if they experienced the feeling of being cheated and fooled.

Answer 2

It depends on how mature she thinks you are, if your capable of finding yourself a husband and your happy, u love him, the trust is there, he's your soulmate etc, then you carry on listening to your husband and not your mother. Where you an only child? She's either being really bad mind for you or she's just afraid she's lost her 'baby' as such, if this is the case she could have at least pretended she was happy for you on ur big day.
If she carries on this will only split you two up, (if you let her) before you've had a chance to start being happy in married life. Go and see her ask her straight up what her problem is and tell her you have no intention of not listening to him or how bad she thinks he is because he's here to stay if she don't give you a good enough reason then its her loss i wouldn't bother with her no more and tell her that. Obviously she's had bad exp with men just to say the things she does but that dont mean your husband fits into that category, sounds very selfish of you ask me sorry. Dont let her spoil your chance to be happy.

Answer 3

Ask yourself this - has your Mum been jealous over other boyfirends that you have had in the past. Maybe she is afraid of losing you all together now you have him. Perhaps she has had bad experiences with men herslef. Do you have a father. She is probably lonely and cannot handle you being happy. If you are happy with your husband - do not listen to her. Is there any truth in what she says? - My mother was very jealous when I first got married and it caused a lot of trouble and in the end my husband left me because he could not stand her interferring all the time - all I can say is - be careful If your husband is a good man, stick with him and explain to your Mum that although you love her and want her friendship, she must stop interferring.

Answer 4

Sounds like your mother wants to keep you as her "child" and can't accept that you are a grown woman with your own life to live. Maybe she is jealous that you are starting a new life with your husband and afraid you will not have as much time for her. Either way, you need to sit down with her and tell her how you feel. It may cause tension for a while but in the end she is your mother and as she seems so worried, obviously loves you. Talk to your husband also and maybe arrange for you all to spend time together so she can see how happy you are as a couple. Congratulations on your marriage and I wish you every happiness.

Answer 5

It could be that she is jealous, it could be that she hates all men, it could be she is only content when others are miserable. My mother is weird too, when I got my engagement ring she had my father buy her a $10 000, diamond ring, when we got married she was jealous of my wedding and bought herself another ring because I had a wedding band. The important thing, is it is your life. You obviously love your husband. Tell her that you love him and you won't listen to her bad mouthing him. If the two of you have an argument (all married couples have them) don't confide in your mother, she will only use it as ammunition. Confide in a friend when you need to. It doesn't sound as though your mother or your mother in law will be supportive of your marriage. Good luck.

Answer 6

I think there are just some women in this world that still haven't learned to let go of their sons and daughters when they get married the two become one and people are jelouse of the fact that some marriages are ment to be and be strong together don't worry about it just live your best life with your man that all that really matters and how it should be asking for advice is ok but we have to make all the decisions in our life its a part of growing up and she had her chances and decisions too it shouldn't hurt your marriage at this point. We all live and learn.

Answer 7

Stand by your husband. By your mother not being happy for you in your engagement, not giving you a gift, or allowing your husband to stay with you at her house - she is telling you that she disapproves of your marriage and your new husband. Your mother is filled with issues, and they need to stay 'HER' issues. Don't make them yours. She may be angry that she has lost you to this man and now she cannot control or influence you anymore. She may feel your husband took you away from her. She may be trying to destroy your marriage and your feelings for him. SO - please stop listening to her. I would keep all your marriage information to yourself, I wouldn't share anything with her - she will just use it against you both. Keep conversations with your mom away from your husband/marriage, and if she doesn't stop it, I would put some major time and distance between the two of you. She has no right to act the way she is - a mother who loves and cares for you would not hurt you - or the man you love - this way. good luck.

Answer 8

It sounds like your Mom knows something about your husband but doesn't know how to tell you. And when she tells you not to depend on him for everything, she's right. Even if the two of you are married you should depend on yourself, because anything is possible.And I don't think you should take sides, I think you should follow you heart. Try talking to your mom, express yourself, maybe she knows something you don't.

Answer 9

Your Mom is bitter over the past, she has trouble trusting men, she worries that you'll get your heart broken....you need to sit her down and talk to her about it. Tell her that you believe he is a good man, not ALL men will cheat or be undependable, and this is your chance to figure this all out, and while you can appreciate her worry, it's only being really negative and pushing you away from her. Tell her that you expect her to treat him with respect and politeness...

Answer 10

It sounds as if she doesn't approve of your husband or maybe men in general????
Has your mum had a bad experience with a man that would make her this way?
I fail to understand why you couldn't be together after marrying.

I think you need to be firm with your mum and say that although she may not approve of or like your husband...that he is your husband that you love him and have to learn from your own mistakes.
I think it's great that you both are together in your new home.
Let both mums know that they are welcome in your new home to visit but that their negative comments are not welcome.